I've been progressively getting more and more angry
and tetchy and irritable over the past few weeks. I constantly feel like I'm on the edge of an apocalyptic eruption of uncontainable fury directed at the next person who gets on my tits. Boo hoo, poor me etc.

What are your patented ways of relieving anger and frustration?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:15, 60 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

*Jumps on No3l's tits*
*motorboats*
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:17, Reply)

Hahaha
Actually, that's working.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Arguing with mongs on here.

( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Go on then
Start arguing with him, help the fella out.
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:22, Reply)

I can't.
I've gotta get dressed and meet a hot bird for coffee.
( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:26, Reply)

A phoenix?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Cackers

( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Oh cool.
Is she here for good now? Send her my regards - she's not been here for a while.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:37, Reply)

You're having coffee with a phoenix?
:edit: Fucking mindpiss
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:27, Reply)

a freshly roasted turkey?
Fuck you guys and your phoenices.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Their what?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:29, Reply)

it's like a cock,
only hotter
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:30, Reply)

You're jealous that you're lame.

( Cawl, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:29, Reply)

I tried baiting that guy yesterday
but they didn't take it up. That's a good idea for this evening when I'm at at keyboard.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:25, Reply)

There's more fun ahead, there.

( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Hmmmmm
do you have insider knowledge here?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:28, Reply)

She does
Sir Knight Grey of Northumberland is inside her on a regular basis.

/is feeling particularly cuntish today
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:29, Reply)

Fuck off.

( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:33, Reply)

I'm excited
That seems to bring out the cunt in me lately :(
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:33, Reply)

You're always a cunt.
And a pathetic one at that.
( Cawl, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:35, Reply)

I mean it.
I'm in a bad mood. I have to go to A&E in a while and I am not definitely coming tonight. So bugger off.
( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Drink a shot of vodka every minute until you pass out

( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:25, Reply)

you know my solution
and you know it makes sense.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Yes, thank you Hitler.
You can pipe down now.
( thealternativefact, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Just because he's got a silly beard
he thinks he can kill all the jews.

That's what comes from being in a rock band.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:29, Reply)

ah, so refreshing that one can make an innocent statement
and be accused of wanting to commit genocide, and then have a laugh about it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:40, Reply)

You're the anti-semite here
don't start getting all pissy with us.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:43, Reply)

I'll have you know that I'm approximately 1/8th jewish
I think. might be bit less.
I was serious though. it is refreshing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:59, Reply)

I've been craving a little recently
but not sure it's the best thing. For forgetting, maybe. Relieving? No.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Go to the park and kidnap a child

( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:26, Reply)

cleaning.
Proper deep cleaning. Bleach. Hot water. Insides of cupboards. Everything.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:26, Reply)

The house could do with a bit of TLC actually.
Good idea this.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:28, Reply)

put on loud, fast, aggressive music as you clean

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:29, Reply)

Getting a good nights sleep
If I get into a run of not enough sleep then my fuse gets very short. Everyone is stupid and irritating and needs a slap. Get a solid 8 hours in the Land of Nod and I'm fluffeh again.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Amputate your leg below the knee
Remove your knee and reattach your shin
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:28, Reply)

"apocalyptic eruption of uncontainable fury"
you pretentious prick.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:29, Reply)

*shrugs*
Maybe. Maybe.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:36, Reply)

I find
Putting a fluffeh kitten in a burlap sack and throwing it off a bridge usually calms me down. Puppies work almost as well
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Find Kaol
Smother him with garlic and expose him to sunlight.
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:31, Reply)

*shrugs*
I LIKE garlic. And there's no sunlight today. It's grey and fucking miserable.
( Cawl, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Yea the weather is a bit shit today
Although it's not stupidly hot which is nice.
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:37, Reply)

A bit?
We had a power cut last night from the storm.
( Cawl, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Ouch
It wasn't so bad here. There was a small puddle in my Dad's workshop when I went out there to nick scissors and I got a little wet chasing the cat around the garden in the dark but nothing too bad.
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Were you trying to steal it's face?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:43, Reply)

No
I let her out by mistake when I went to borrow the scissors at 1:30. Stupid thing wouldn't come back in and kept running off if I got within 5 paces of her so I left her out in the end.
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:46, Reply)

You chased the cat around the garden with scissors?
You... YOU WERE TRYING TO MATE WITH IT!
You sick fuck.
( Cawl, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:44, Reply)

I'd put the scissors inside
In case I fell over and stabbed myself in the face.
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Inside the cat?
You were STAB-FUCKING it, weren't you?
This is terrible.
( Cawl, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:48, Reply)

I meant inside the house :(
This is terrible internet bullying although I probably deserve it for upsetting Clendrix.

I'm going to go cry in the toilets.
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Haha!
Yeah, you do deserve it.
I hope she's ok though.
( Cawl, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:54, Reply)

She's just proclaimed her love to me
All is well although now I need to tell CHCB that I'm leaving her for a more awesomer woman.
( Captain V, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:11, Reply)

good luck, mate!
But I've got your sister on side now, so watch your back.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:36, Reply)

*guffaws*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I have booze, pizza and The Wrestler on DVD.
I can't wait for this day to finish.
( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Gym
Beast yourself until it hurts, natural endorphines will rush through your withered body making you feel better and knowing that you've done something positive towards your fitness/health will also give you a mental boost.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:49, Reply)

I walk twenty miles a week
That'll about do me for exercise I reckon.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:54, Reply)

yeah I read about your walking thing

Sounds like great idea, maybe this week you need an extra dose!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:12, Reply)

If this grey drab weather would fuck off
it'd make the walks two hundred percent more interesting.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 10:22, Reply)

I'm normally chipper and lovely
But yesterday I even tried telling potted shrub to fuck off for grabbing my earphones. It was ridiculous and futile and I think my neighbours heard me. Well, I can't help it. I'm fed up and I've had too many carbs and not enough exercise. Grr.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:55, Reply)

A wank, basically
A really angry one - probably over someone that you don't like, and you're just doing it out of spite. That should work.
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:58, Reply)