'Ning all!
I have only just removed a loquacious mother from my phone line, hence my tardiness.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:02, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

what was she on about?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:04, Reply)

Mostly, cats and persuading me to visit them.
She was unsuccessful. On the plus side, I now have dark brown and purple hair!
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:09, Reply)

Thats odd
Because when I speak to my mum on the phone my hair doesn't change colour....
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:22, Reply)

Evening TD
Perhaps the hair colour change was attributed to a cat landing on her hair.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:25, Reply)

If my mother could create cats out of the ether
I think my flat would be full to bursting ><' not good.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:29, Reply)

etheric cats
sounds fun
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:32, Reply)

It would be every time she mentioned one *mrow!* another would appear.
She likes cats. A lot. And so, she talks about them a lot.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:35, Reply)

Teh fluffeh! its COMING THROUGH THE WALLS!!!
Dooomed
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:36, Reply)

Dawn of the Fluffeh
coming to a cinema near you, autumn 2009...
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:37, Reply)

There is only one way to stop them..
we must fwap and wait for god. Its the only way
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:40, Reply)

Shall I ready the giant screen, sir?
And the projector? And the porn of your choice?
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:46, Reply)

You'll have to hurry
because if you don't, an avalanche of cats will block the screen.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:48, Reply)

And knock it over!

( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:51, Reply)

And then sit on it and leave their dirty bum-prints on it.
The cats will then keep the fallen screen as a souvenir of their small victory. It would then be a cat-ass-trophy.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:54, Reply)

SPANG
Actually, that made me larf.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:59, Reply)

But will you still be laughing once you find your pr0n is covered in cats' bum-prints?

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:06, Reply)

I often think that we arent using the level of porn online to its full potential.

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:49, Reply)

The internet is for porn.
I was watching Sexcetera last night for the lulz and learned many things, including that Jenna Jameson has started her own site which also includes sports scores and other things you may need while fwapping... or not.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:51, Reply)

if evryone has access to hardcore porn
why all the cheesy sexploitation and lame titillation IRL?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:59, Reply)

You've got to wonder, haven't you?
I mean have you even seen Television X? It's just... sad.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:00, Reply)

Its all so
..meh
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:04, Reply)

Totally meh.
They look so bored!
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:22, Reply)

That's one good effect hardcore pr0n is having
It's helping us develop an immunity to titillating adverts.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:05, Reply)

Hurrah!

( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:13, Reply)

I have two cats
TWO! TWO WHOLE CATS!

I love them to bits and perhaps ought to have a hotline to Mother Maladicta.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:38, Reply)

If you can cope with rambles about people you don't know
and the non-ironic use of the word "pussy", as well as a lot of Father Ted references, she is a most excellent conversationalist.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:44, Reply)

Non-ironic use of pussy
reminds me of this.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:51, Reply)

My mother would do that!
Perhaps we are distantly related...
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:57, Reply)

Perhaps you should send your mum to the States
and she may quickly cotton on to why everyone's giving her funny looks all the time.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:14, Reply)

She's been there.
However, I was too young to remember her reacting to anyone if she said pussy, and I didn't know its true meaning then either!
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:24, Reply)

No - I don't think I can
They're quite firmly kitties, not pussies.

I've no interest in dead, or dying, shopkeepers.

Perhaps Mme M Senior might be better befriending random strangers at bus stops.

My ex-mother-in-law practically made a vocation of this. It did her no harm and it gave US a lot of laughs.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:52, Reply)

Oh, the random strangers befriend HER.
And then she gets freaked out!
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:56, Reply)

If that happened
Leaving the doors and windows open would make things easier.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:34, Reply)

A whole river of cats!
We could supply fluff at a worldwide level :D
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:35, Reply)

If you had a chimney, you'd have a cat-volcano too
And the cat-river would take a course that looks like an interesting pattern from space. The river would lead into a cat-ocean and even have a cat-delta at the end.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:44, Reply)

And they'd just keep running
until they found a fishmonger's. Then there would be a cat-tsunami.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:52, Reply)

And once they've had their fish, they will fall asleep leaving an enormous pile of sleeping cats blocking the cat-river.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:58, Reply)

The pile will therefore grow exponentially
surely? Then... CAT-BERG.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:59, Reply)

And then the cats at the bottom will finish their nap and wake up
and when they walk off, they will be carrying the rest of the cat-berg on their backs. Soon, any town large enough to support a fishmonger will have the spectacle of roaming cat-bergs.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:16, Reply)

With bemused tourists having
their pictures taken with them!
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:27, Reply)

.
Perhaps the tourists could bring along a cardboard cutout of the Titanic and take a shot of the cat-iceberg demolishing it.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:35, Reply)

For a small tourist fee
one could be provided!

*profits*
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:43, Reply)

But how will we know where the latest cat-berg is?
I know the answer...

* prophets *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:48, Reply)

It's the rage, I tell you, the rage!

( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:27, Reply)

Evening Mallie
Next time, use a crowbar.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:05, Reply)

Crowbars-'not just for headcrabs'

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:06, Reply)

"and then we take the crabs and place them on our eyes
and eat them eat them eat them"
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:09, Reply)

They're for Ear Worms too

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:11, Reply)

There was an awful time
when I had Can't Speak French by Girls Aloud stuck in my head for an entire day of work and nearly brutally murdered my colleagues with letter openers. I despise Girls Aloud.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:13, Reply)

I got 'tomorrow belongs to me' stuck in my head for a few mortifying weeks

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:26, Reply)

That's up there with Fuck Her Gently
- for some reason that one comes back with little to no provocation...
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:34, Reply)

We did a 'other persons taste night '
Me and the g/f watching Sci-fi and musicals
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:41, Reply)

I think this could be a good idea.
*makes mental note for Paris*
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:58, Reply)

I got caught singing that in the shower

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:45, Reply)

I heard it drifting down from the floor above in my block of flats
as I was drifting off to sleep one evening last year.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:58, Reply)

I play it.
At weddings. That I haven't been invited to. And that I know nobody at. Particularly at gay civil union ceremonies.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:02, Reply)

That is awesome.
I will so do this if my cousin ever decides to get married and stop being engaged.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:10, Reply)

Fortunately I wasn't tempted along the path of homicide by Sweet About Me
in fact, even the inter-departmental communication issues we have at our office still out-rank the homicide-inducingness of the song.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:29, Reply)

Gah, communication issues.
I hates them. Especially when I'm the one who is communicating and getting blamed for someone else's non-communication!

This nearly caused Elfen Lied style rage!
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:29, Reply)

They're not that bad at my office
It's just that currently, the project I'm working on keeps breaking down, but nobody bothers telling me what's wrong, or even that it's breaking, so I just end up assuming all is well and don't even end up being aware of what the end-users are going through.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:39, Reply)

Well, this is "I've done a thing but you won't find out I've done a thing till you come to do the thing and find it's not there".
And then me going AAAAAAARGH KILL STAB.
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 20:57, Reply)

Sounds similar to what goes on at my office
I think I should hire a town-crier to walk around the office announcing my latest completed tasks. If that still doesn't help, add in a few trumpet-players to play a fanfare.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:03, Reply)

I will do this, with a loudhailer.
"COLLEAGUE! I HAVE DONE THE FILING! I HAVE DONE THE FINANCE EXPORT! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:11, Reply)

If everyone dies that at work
I'll have no choice but to play only the catchiest tunes on my iPhone all day.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:44, Reply)

We aren't allowed music in our office.
A shame as we have a flatscreen that is just screaming for a good rickroll!
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:51, Reply)

hey there you guys!
sobered up yet Mal? you drank nearly as many Mojitos as me last night!
Spakka, you missed a real session...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:54, Reply)

O hai!
Quite sober now, just high on giggles for next month!
( Maladicta, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 21:57, Reply)

Evening B69
Not too bothered about missing last night's virtual piss-up. It was my Tai-Chi class yesterday evening. We went through some abstract visualisations to help us with our form, and then got to play with wooden swords.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 22:00, Reply)

i was actually drinking actual Mojitos last night whilst i was dishing out virtual ones...
i got rather pisseded (which i'm sure was evident?) and ended up staying up rather late which kind of spoiled today a bit. but only a bit! still managed to board the wall up the left hand side of the stairs of my place i'm doing up. lots of angles and cuts and stuff. mind-fuck territory with a hangover!
anyway i just popped in to say hi! cos i've got paperwork to do...
take it easy dudes!
;-)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 29 Jul 2009, 22:07, Reply)

Will do
Hope you recover from your combined real and virtual hangover.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 22:15, Reply)