Is it wrong of me
that I bought a bottle gin solely because it makes my wife hornier than a schoolboy who's just wandered into the girls changing room?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 13:50, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's very right of you!
She's happy, you're happy, everyone's happy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:00, Reply)

The problem though
is that it's a short lived effect, so I have to time it right. Otherwise she peaks too early and I have to fend her off because we're not in private. Then after 30 mins it wears off and she gets tired.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Haha!
Saucy little minx and then goes "Ah pish off gerroff am tiiiired Zzzzz".
I hope the window of opportunity is well-timed.
I have to time my alcoholz right too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:28, Reply)

we were on the bus on the way home
after been in town on the sauce. She'd finished the night with a couple of gins, and by the time we got off the bus, she was all over me. I said "no, wait until we get in", as the house was only 100yds away.

We got in, and she said "I'll just go take my contact lenses out" and she goes upstairs.

After 10 mins, I'm pacing the living room and I go upstairs to see what's taking her so long. I found her spark out on the bed. She'd not even got as far as taking her lenses out. Fucksocks.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Aww
I love her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:45, Reply)

"Window of opportunity"
sounds euphemistic.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Depends what you lace it with

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:01, Reply)

I had a thought once too.
I didn't post it on the internet though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:03, Reply)

you're awful nasty over here
you just come here to ruin our happy tiems
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:07, Reply)

I'm not nasty, how can anyone be nasty with ONE SLEEP 'TILL TESCOS ! ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)

Pot and kettle come to mind Gonz but I'm much too lovely to say so.

( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:16, Reply)

are you calling me nasty?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:17, Reply)

No, she's the pot.
I think it's racism.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:17, Reply)

I AM a terrible racist.
I hate white people.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:36, Reply)

I'm talking about Gonz.
Replied in the wrong place.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:18, Reply)

It would've been alright if you did, though
I've certainly been called worse :)
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:29, Reply)

OHMEGOSH
HOW CAN YOU STAND THE WAIT?!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:16, Reply)

It'll all end in tears
I's like complaining about McDonalds and then crowing about the Burger King that's opening soon.

You'll soon realise that they're both as shit as each other, except one is more expensive.

If it's only the experience of wandering around Asda that's pissing you off, why not just do your shopping online? It'll be cheaper than Tesco, you're less inclined to impulse buy so that saves you money too, and you never have to mingle with people who don't wash.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:19, Reply)

he'd be online 24/7 if he did that

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:30, Reply)

he already is isn't he?

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:44, Reply)

I'm a massive contradiction.
I like going for a wonder around the shop wondering what to have, I just end up doing it for hours and then don't like it.

Tesco opening up in ONE MORE SLEEP's time, is more akin to a harrods opening up next door.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:53, Reply)

He's absolutely right though.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:17, Reply)

yeah
because OT is the epitome of erudite repartee, an unequivocal magnet for raconteurs. If Oscar Wilde was alive today, he would be begging to join in.

He'd also be a very ancient bum-fancier.

Edit:
Except for Gonz, his "I had a thought once and kept it to myself" response is geting a bit worn around the edges.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:37, Reply)

This is why I don't drink red wine when I go out.
Does strange things to my libido.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Oh that's white wine with me!
Well it's all alcohol. But particularly white wine.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I used to think that libido
was a type of sun-lounger. Many years later I still can't shake off that image.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I've bought your wife gin LOADS of times

(likeajackhammer, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 16:11, Reply)

yeah
but that was plymouth gin and she's a bit picky about that sort of thing.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 17:49, Reply)