and then once it goes off
I'll be round to tarmac your drive.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:12, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Is this bloke related to you
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1081355/The-100-000-white-wedding-16-year-old-girl-lives-caravan.html
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:16, Reply)

I saw that wedding on the telly
It was brilliant. There was a fight and everything.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:17, Reply)

What a surprise

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:18, Reply)

love how her garter is almost as big as her skirt, and did her mum forget to put a shirt on?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:21, Reply)

It is a total bra isn't it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:22, Reply)

it has to be
it certainly doesn't match the rest of her outfit
but maybe thats the point?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Standards are slipping!
Why, in my day you wouldn't get inside a Catholic Church dressed like that. Not unless you were a member of the clergy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:29, Reply)

you should have seen my cousin's wedding
my family claim to be catholics as well. Bunch of trollops, the lot of them. I'm a heathen and I wouldn't set foot in a church dressed the way those hoo'ers do!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:30, Reply)

I've never even been in a catholic church, but, from what I can tell around here
you're required to have long, slightly disheveled braided hair, a slight paunch and birthing hips covered by a skirt that stretches to your ankles and a pastel t-shirt with 5-8 spawn standing near or clinging to you.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:41, Reply)

in Liverpool
You have to be wearing an orange tan and a garishly patterned mini-dress. And only attend church when Ritz-Carlton-Seychelles-Marie needs baptizing.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Shit, that's her mum?
I thought it was an oompa-loompa.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:30, Reply)

I certainly wouldn't complain if I looked like her
she could use a better fashion sense, mind
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Did she get that boob job in a caravan too?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:24, Reply)

It certainly looks like it.

( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Looks like she's been stealing her mums gross hormones.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Or sharing the same rusty bath-water.

( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Or sharing the same rusty bath-water.
LOL your gross/growth pun was hilarious.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:32, Reply)

But it wasn't.
It was so bad I assumed it was a typo.
( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:34, Reply)

I prefer my bad jokes to my good ones.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Wait...
There are GOOD ones?
( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Obvious comeback is obvious.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Obviously.

( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:41, Reply)

hahaha

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:44, Reply)

Fucking hell
you're even pandering to yourself now. Why not just go home, cover yourself in baby oil, sit in front of the mirror and wank yourself into a stupor.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Again?

( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:36, Reply)

That's what I do every thursday

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Yeah, just slash the budget a little.
Catface and I have worked out that given the average UK cost of a wedding, if we start saving now we can afford to get married in 1538.46154 years time. Don't go getting out the fancy hats just yet. Yes, that means YOU al. I've seen that pretty headgear you're wearing in your Facebook pic.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:25, Reply)

Wicked.
I'll be there, front row.
( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:29, Reply)

I can picture it now.
The gnome theme... the little toadstools that all the guests sit on... the ceremonial fish pond... all his little people forming a tiny arch of fishing rods that I have to crawl through on my way down the aisle...
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Walking down the aisle to the "David the Gnome" theme tune...

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:55, Reply)

I was going to pay a harpist to play "I love horses"

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:57, Reply)

I have clicked "I like this".
An OT first, I think.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 16:02, Reply)

I'll be squatting in the aisle
curling out a fat one and wanking furiously.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Pffft,
You'll be dead by then.
( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Which reminds me,
bring your mum.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Can't you make everything out of paper?
Even the dress?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Toilet paper.

( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Wet it to a pulp,
Stick it on.
( Cawl, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Like papier mache
for the little folk
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:35, Reply)