Ouch...
I feel like I've been skull-fucked by a bull elephant. Does anyone have a good hangover cure?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:13, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wheel this combo out every time
1) Full English Breakfast and large mug of tea
2) Back to Bed with a pint of water to sip
3) Have a wank
4) Fill the rest of the day with tea and dossing material of your choice, perhaps a film of some kind.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:16, Reply)

^ as Mick Jones says above
but with a hot bath and a fat reefer inserted between points one and two.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:19, Reply)

^^ As those two said
but with points 1 through 9 replaced with MANNING THE FUCK UP AND STOPPING WHINGING
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Canadian Breakfast
Much like a full English (except the bacon isn't anywhere near as good) but with the added goodness of pancakes and maple syrup. Round it off with a large helping of Irn Bru.

Job's a good'un.
( djtrialprice, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:22, Reply)

I suggest...
1) Wank yourself to sleep
2) Eat/drink nothing for 2 hours
3) Wake up
4) Go to the shop for food, cold drinks, newspapers and magazines, corn-snacks, and just for the walk.
5) Enjoy your purchases
6) Sleep more, but on the couch this time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:22, Reply)

alka seltzer
bottle of lucosade
fry up
back to bed
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Up and Out

Fresh air is a must, lying in bed will only prolong it, painful at first but worth it!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:34, Reply)

what kind of crazy talk is this?
You sound like the kind of person who advocates exercise, hard work and other types of insane ideas.
( djtrialprice, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:39, Reply)

this person needs a visit from the secret police
that said however, going surfing is the best cure for a hangover
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:45, Reply)

But that's not like proper exercise
It's like going ski-ing
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:47, Reply)

you mean it's enjoyable?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Exactly
It's more fun than eating croissants on a balcony.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:53, Reply)

this is very true
I bought a new (old) board the other day. I'm looking forward to trying it. Been doing well for stuff recently. No3L sent me a boss digital delay pedal which is much fun :-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Oooooo
they are quite pricey bits of gear them. Is it fun?

I have a number of fancy effects pedals, but I very rarely get the chance to plug everything in and rock out, I mainly practise through headphones or just on the acoustic. And even that isn't very often.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:59, Reply)

it is fun, especially the hold function which indefinitely repeats the last little thing you played
I'm not big on effects as I find they get in the way of actually playing anything. I use a boss blues driver distortion, which basically sounds exactly like my valve amp turned right up, or for metal I've got a marshall vs amp.

Delay is something I've always wanted though and it adds a nice little something to guitar solos and whatnot.

I basically only play guitar at band practice once a week and at gigs these days. occasionally a bit more if I'm recording side project stuff, or get a few minutes to myself at home, but it's rare that I get to rock out big time at home. it is a crying shame!

we should get together and have a jam sometime
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:02, Reply)

That would be a laugh
you'd have to tell me what you wanted to play in advance though so I can learn it. I only memorise bits of songs.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:08, Reply)

This^
I started guitaring at the end of last year, I've learned to play around a dozen songs (badly), and hundreds of bits of songs, through tab I've got from the internet, or from my little brother who is marginally better than I am.

...but nobody asked me, so I'll just feck off.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:13, Reply)

I can mostly only remember bits these days
there's a few songs I know all of still, but most of my memory is taken up with band stuff, and we all make that up as we go along!

generally, I'm happy to play anything and can learn or make something up pretty speedily, so fun could still be had!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Some day
I hope I'll be at that level, where I can just fiddle about with my guitar and create half decent music to almost anything, but at the moment I only have a shoddy guitar and little amp to practice on.

One day I'll be a megastar though, and you'll all be attending Monkeysex gigs, paying three thousand million pounds to get balcony seats, while I piss the world's smoothest blues licks into your ears on my fat Gibson ES-330, or whatever it's called.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:25, Reply)

I found that getting new gear made my play better
also, playing with other people as much as possible is the best way to develop
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Exactly that
but I never have time for that kind of thing, so I'll just stick to fiddling with my Squier in my underpants for now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:31, Reply)

as long as you enjoy it, that's the main thing
I started playing when I was about 12 or 13 I think, can't remember why, but I'm glad I stuck with it, despite being pretty shit for quite a long time
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:39, Reply)

Shitness is all in your mind, Vipros
You've got to believe in yourself, do you believe in yourself Vipros? Because you know you should.

I want to lay you down on my couch and sing you a little song.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:40, Reply)

then that is what you shall do!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Ok, just lie down while I stroke your hair
Luh-vin' you, is easy cos you're beautiful...
and everythin' that you doooo, is all about lovin' you...
lalalala, lalalala, lalala-lalalala
mmm-dodoo-do-doo

aaaaAAAAAaaaa...
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:48, Reply)

Dioralyte
and a soapy enema.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 11:51, Reply)

MOAR ALCOHOL

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Yep
I too feel like a pig has shat in my head this morning.

I dealt with mine by cycling five miles across country to the station this morning at 7am, so I'm all for the getting out in the fresh air type of cure.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:01, Reply)

do you have a bastard behind the eyes?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:02, Reply)

And he needs something to drink to take the paracetamol
Where are the paracetamol!?

How did your feet measure up the chap's next to you last night then?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:07, Reply)

My feet are the stuff of legend....
...size 11 and abnormally wide. Quite magnificent, even if I say so myself.

I would like to remove my head and place it in the fridge for a couple of hours though.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Seeing as it's you,
hammers.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Sledge thereof

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Go get a burger king or something

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Oh god No!
I don't want another one of those threads
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:22, Reply)

ha ha

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Stop whinging, be a man
and get out there, slap your wife and get on with things.

You ruddy girl
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Hahahahhaha, awsome Jim Bob.
Did you go out on the 'lash' with the 'lads' and 'pull' a 'bird' and 'pop' an 'e'? hahaha, that Dave, he be one crazy fella, we were all like "Dave man, that girl looks very visualy pleasing, and I think she's giving you The Look, go and ask her out " and he was like "haha jim bob, nah', she ain't" and we were totally like "She totally is" and then he went up to her. Then as he was standing next to her she was like "Yeah'? Can I help you?" and dave was like "Yeah' girl, you know you're my world, can I buy you a drink" and she was like "Ermmmmm, yeah', whatever, vodka and coke" and then dave went to the bar and was all like "I'll have a TRIPPLE vodka and coke.... oh, ok then, make it a double. hehehehe". and then he went back to that girl and when she finished talking to that other guy (he was probably a PEADOFILE or something, lolololol) he gave her the drink and was like "So, do you come here often" and she was like "ERmmm yeah'." and dave was like "OK then", then he came back to us and we were all like "YEAH BOY ! DAVE PULLED".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:15, Reply)

OMG! Where you there!?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Nah', that was Dave's Facebook Status for a few hours.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:29, Reply)

You're a weird one Gonz, I'll give you that.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:37, Reply)

You could try
lying on your back, swinging your legs up like you're going to do 'the bicycle' and wanking your spunk into your own mouth.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Do this ^
HARD
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:43, Reply)

Alright cunt-features?
Nice to see you back round these parts, even if your cheeks do look like 90-year old labia.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:45, Reply)

None of your cock-raging business
you paraplegic reamtard, and trust you to know what a 90 year old labia looks like.

Fine thanks, how's you?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Better now, shit-beak.
Better now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:48, Reply)

After eating asparagus fried in garlic

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:47, Reply)

And a litre of pineapple juice.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 12:49, Reply)