After hearing an old joke
I just wondered how many of you have put a small ball bearing down your japs-eye to see how far you could fire it with an ejaculation? If so, how far? I've never done that. No sirree not me.

In other news, how have your pets amused you lately?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:01, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Having been born without a japs eye, I can truthfully say I have never done that. If I had been born with one, I'm sure I wouldn't have thought to try it.
I had to worm my cat today after we noticed he was losing weight. He did NOT like having a syringe squirt foul tasting and smelling stuff into his gob. No he did not. He scratched me and mum several times, then stalked off, fur fluffed up, angry eyes on, and spitting at anybody who came close.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:10, Reply)

You could try a ping pong ball

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:12, Reply)

I'm sure I could too.
But I don't really want to. sounds a bit weird for my liking :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:20, Reply)

Greebo?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:12, Reply)

^^ This!
Only things that are menat to go up there, are being put up there!

In pet status, my rats are being very odd lately. One of them has decided the other is a cushion, and can be seen sitting on the other as soon as they sit still.
(stimpy, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:28, Reply)

well I'd rather get him healthy then watch him lose more weight.
So as far as I'm concerned, he can like it or lump it, but he's still gonna get his medicine.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:32, Reply)

Ahh... I was talking about putting ping pong balls in places.
But a healthy cat is much better than any other sort of cat! They're like small children sometimes, just don't realise whats good for them. I don't know, small balls of fluff these days...
(stimpy, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:37, Reply)

ahahaha. Ask Bert - I'm sure you could convince him to.
I agree. So how're you m'dear?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:38, Reply)

I'll make a note to ask him what can be done with the balls and target practice
I'm good thankyou - bump on head has gone, so life is a marshamllow. Hows things down at your end?
(stimpy, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:45, Reply)

Burned fingers are blistered to the point where it doesn't hurt anymore
so is great! aside from all the study.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:53, Reply)

Arghh! Noes! Not the studying!
What things have they got you researching/writing about?

Good thing about the hands :) Pity you're not allowed to pop burn blisters... something about popping things like that I like. I figure that way leads to pain, scarring and infections though.
(stimpy, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 9:00, Reply)

well I have a paper due in on Monday for History.
Basically have to compare Mao's rule with the Qing dynasty, Nationalist Rule and Deng Xiaoping's rule after Mao's death. It's going to be a long paper I think...
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 9:04, Reply)

That sounds... painful.
Very painful. Although, I could never do essays and the like with the humanities subject. Much more of a maths/science girl here. I wish you the best of luck with it!
(stimpy, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 9:09, Reply)

aha ta love,
I think it'll be just sifting through my facts and notes of what I have already - I have notes and quotes from all 4 rules, so shouldn't be too bad. just long.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 9:17, Reply)

Thats not so bad
At least you've done most of the research and mostly just need to put in in a coherant form. You need a slave you and dictate to and make them type it up.
(stimpy, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 9:24, Reply)

One person should use oven gloves
to hold the cat's legs into its body and grip it by the scruff of neck. The other person covers the cat's eyes with one palm and encourages the mouth open with the fingers of the same hand then squirts the glorious liquid into the cats chops.

Either that or use granules on their food.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:47, Reply)

Would smarties tubes on the legs work to prevent scratching?
Just wondering. Never owned a cat myself (boy #2 is allergic) so I've never had the delights of dealing with things like this.
(stimpy, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:52, Reply)

I've never had a problem with any cats I've had
as they've all been floppy soppy bastards who'd do just about anything for a fuss.

That said, Smarties tubes on the legs does prevent them from using stairs.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:56, Reply)

I wish I'd known this before hand.
but ta noel, I'll use that next time!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:52, Reply)

The latter is probably the more viable tip there.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 8:54, Reply)

I have never done that
and I don't have any pets

I have a daughter does that count? Yesterday she kept spinning around until she fell over. I laughed.
( Peej, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 9:18, Reply)

I stroked my cat
until he fell off the table.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Mah kitteh
Has taken to walking all over me every morning and night.
It's quite alright because he's not normally affectionate, so I sneakily stroke him while he's walking about and cat-headbutting me.
I love cat-headbutts.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 10:19, Reply)

My dog
did this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH1xZBxVefw
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 11:19, Reply)

I like it when cats yawn
and I stick my finger in their mouth pretending to be a lion tamer.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 12:29, Reply)

I do that all the time
though i leave it till they start closing their mouth and see how long it takes them to get rid of my finger.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:19, Reply)

thank you people.
note to self: male b3tans, not so weird after all.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 30 Sep 2009, 12:40, Reply)