I have cramps.
But I'm jovial because I just had cofffee and boiled egg on buttered toast with salt and black pepper, and at the risk of sounding like Gonz, BEST LUNCH EVAR, OH MAN.

My god, I could be on /talk with a lunch post like that.
Needs more cuntishness though.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:01, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I had a shitty ham sandwich
in my shitty office where I do my shitty job. I'm in a really bad mood today.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:02, Reply)

If it helps,
At least you've got a job.
And food.
I've had a lumpy brown cracker thing, and the "dusty end of the tobacco" roll-up.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:05, Reply)

WWRJDD?
What Would Ronnie James Dio Do?

I bet he'd MTFU.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Fuck I wish I had thought of that
If RJD was in my position, he'd RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)

I bet he would,
I bet he'd backcomb his hair a little more, polish his leather and make a "grrrrrrr" face and then he'd RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)

I bet he would use both hands to make his Devil Horns.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)

And then he'd go to MUTHAFUCKIN TOWN
on that ham sandwich.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)

you should rewrite that song from South Park the Movie
about Brian Boitano, and call it What Would Ronnie James Dio do?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:31, Reply)

naa
we all know you're a cunt

I had tomato soup. it's given me indigestion.

on saturday though I had a bagel (encrusted with all manner of seeds and stuff) with salt beef, horseradish mayo, lettuce and pickles. it was incredible.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Better cunt than smug.
*nods sagely*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:05, Reply)

wrong

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)

You would say that.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Now I want egg & soldiers!
Did your Mum ever make choppy-uppy-in-a-cuppy for you when you were little?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:06, Reply)

BLEURGH!
Egg beat up in a cup, we called it. I hate it. It makes me want to boke. It's just the wrong consistency or something. Any other form of the same ingredients is fine.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:08, Reply)

what is it?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)

The clue is in the name.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)

This was something of a long running joke on /talk for a while

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:10, Reply)

I gathered the egg is beaten in a cup
but how is it cooked?

or is it a boiled egg chopped up and mixed about in a cup?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Cooked?
With HEAT, one would assume.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)

do try not to make yourself look like an idiot
there are a number of quite different ways of cooking an egg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I'm pretty sure they all involve heat though.
Am I right? What's that? Yes I am? Oh good.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)

well done

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)

*high fives*

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I don't think you can cook an egg
With cold.
So, yeah, heat.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Aye,
boiled egg chopped up with butter, salt and pepper. In a cup. It may actually be the cup bit that disturbs me. I could probably handle it if it was in, say, a small bowl.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)

have you been traumatised by a cup at some point?
this has reminded me of a recipe.

line a ramekin with parma ham, crack in a couple of eggs, pour on some double cream, salt, pepper, chives, maybe a sprinkling of cheese and bake in the oven till the egg white is cooked and yolk is runny.

fucking awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)

*cup flashbacks*
I don't think I can bring myself to talk about it yet.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Was there just
One cup?
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)

sometimes, when I close my eyes,
I see two handles.




And four girls.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Because CHCB is faffing around with text instead of just doing this...
xkcd.com/467/
( Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:25, Reply)

GET BACK TO WORK, MIDGET!

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Oh, she's let you out has she?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)

I had to stand over him this morning and force him to send out his CV.
If he gets an interview it's because of my cunning Word formatting.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I should hope so to.
Everyone needs their mum to check their CV before it goes out.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:32, Reply)

And then I made him some egg beat up in a cup.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:32, Reply)

You beat him up in a cup?
You evil harpy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Don't tempt me.
It's been his turn to clean the bathroom for 4 days now.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

force him to send out his CV furiously masturbate
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Hey!
You wanna come do unemployed things with me, like break the aerials off shiny new Mercs, then use them to smoke drugs?
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:28, Reply)

I was going to call you yesterday and suggest this weekend
But CHCB told me you're moving so I decided not to bother.

How does sometime next week sound?
( Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Stop having fun without me!
I'm so lonely in London now with only becky and clenders and DIT to amuse me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Hahaha!
This reminds me, I need to start arranging my Halloween Party.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:35, Reply)

You can go out to play as soon as you've fixed the washing machine leak.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

As in "next week when we're going to that gig"?
You can come over earlier, if you like.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

I meant sometime during the week
Earliest I can really do would be this weekend but you're moving.

CHCB informs me that I'm being a grumpy bastard today. Apparently "I mean sometime during the week" sounds somehow grumpy.

I'm off again - house rearranging to do!
( Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:35, Reply)

May I also inform you that the bathroom is not self-cleaning?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:36, Reply)

This whole adjacent-desk thing is great. I can yell at you and type at you at the same time.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:37, Reply)

I have no idea what you're talking about.
Have fun arguing though :p
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:37, Reply)

I SO have a job for you.
I'll gaz you.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Ok...
EDIT: I can't kill anyone, or I'll fail my CRB.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I'm off the graph.

^
|
|
|
|_______>

No. of girls vs. no. of cups.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)

When you're little and too poorly to dunk soldiers in a soft boiled egg,
your Mum chops the soldiers into dainty squares, in a cup, with chopped egg so you can eat it feably with a teaspoon.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)

But do you mash it with a fork, or a knife
and is it consumed with salt, pepper, or brown sauce? We need to know!?

In fact, How would Ronnie James Dio have his?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)

he eats eggs whole

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I think he has the dragons fire
to cook them for his Rock 'n' Roll Children.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)

I think he eats devilled eggs.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)

I reckon that sometimes
when he fancies a midnight snack he races down to the all night garage as fast as he can to get the eggs. This is the real reason why he Speeds at Night.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Daintily chopped, no mashing required.
A bijou sprinklette of salt if you wish, and if the egg yolk isn't sufficiently runny you can add a large knob of butter.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)

YES!
We call it guggy egg.
She still makes it if I look malnourished or upset when I'm round at their house. *not as embarrassed as I should be*

EDIT: it also has bread and butter in there, yes?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)

I've never had one of these.
Sounds odd.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)

It's what poor working class types eat.
You may be too posh and too well-nourished.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)

^ What she said
it makes you better
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Oh...
I always got "Go to school anyway, and I'll pick you up if you're ill".
By "pick me up" she meant at 5, when school was over.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)

this is what I got too
got my own back by vomiting all over the carpet during show and tell though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)