Morning arse-bandits
how are you doing?

yet another TV programme mentioned Flim-flam last night. I think she is trying to take over the airwaves.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:08, 122 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm fantastic!
I've been shopping and painting and now I"m studying for my LAST exam this year!! So pretty good here.

And yourself?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:10, Reply)

not bad
still got this cold, but it's slowly going away

pretty exciting about your last exam. what is it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:12, Reply)

bit of paper with questions on
you retard
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:13, Reply)

and it's about Psychology.
I'm stoked - I'm going out tomorrow night with a friend to celebrate end of exams. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:13, Reply)

"cigarette?"
"yes, I know"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Cigarette is the female equivalent of cigar
which is why I stick them up my bum
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:16, Reply)

I had something important to say
but I've forgotten what it was.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:11, Reply)

well, that's no good at all
was it something important to say to me?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:12, Reply)

I think it was something general
but I can't be sure
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:13, Reply)

let us know if you figure it out
just been doing a bit of facebook stalking. My ex has gradually become less attractive. I've done well there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:16, Reply)

It's marvellous when that happens, isn't it?
I tracked an ex one mine down, she still looked beautiful in her FaceBook photos... Arse the size of Bulgaria when I met her though, it made my heart do a smile
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:18, Reply)

good stuff

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Stick it where it stinks, bushface

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

oh god.
I just laughed so hard I got lemonade on my psychology books! "bushface" *snorts*
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Arf
IOU one Psychology qualification
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

trade it for laughs instead.
psychology is easy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Or is it....?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

err yeah?
I barely study and get straight A's in it. This is the one exam I'm not worried about at all. I know all the content - I'm just lazily going over my notes one last time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Or are they just using psychology to lure you into a false state of security?
Maybe the real test is whether or not you can figure out how Derren Brown trims is beard so neatly
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Quite clearly, he does it slowly and carefully,
with a pair of small scissors.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Quite clearly, he does it slowly and carefully,
with a pair of small scissors.
He uses a mix of magic, misdirection and psychology
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

oh fuck you monkeychops

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Mmmm... baby

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Rubbish
he uses the power of his mind.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

did you watch the 3D stuff last night?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

I did! I did! I did! I did!
ASK ME
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

did you watch the 3D stuff last night?
what did you think?

I thought Derren Brown was being weird. Not his usual calm, cool self
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

He's often quite weird
It was as disappointing as I was expecting it to be.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:55, Reply)

it was more disappointing
the 3D stuff was really quite shit and most of the magic was crappy too. His venice thing was ok.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:56, Reply)

But that was a repeat
it's been shown before. I wasn't expecting much, 3D anything is rarely more than a gimmick that never really achieves what it sets out to.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:58, Reply)

I hadn't seen it before
you are right about 3D. stupid waste of time. things look a bit 3D, but mostly they just look blurry.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

and it's impossible to wank with those stupid glasses on your face

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Ignore that twat
I didn't, I was out, with real people (well, one of them was off the interent) watching Alice in Chains.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

how awesome were Alice in Chains?
they were so good when I saw them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

When I first heard they had a new singer and I saw photos of him
I was a bit dubious as he looks a bit foppish, but then I heard the new album and I was impressed with his voice, and then seeing them last night was just incredible. My favourites were Down in a Hole, Black Gives Way to Blue, Man in a Box and Rooster.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

I hadn't heard them with new singer before I saw them
and while he is foppish looking, he can sing really well and harmonises with jerry cantrell well, which is the important thing.

I don't know the new stuff well, but they played a load of classics when I saw them. Best ones were Angry Chair, Would and Rooster.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:03, Reply)

that's a little harsh
and it's more of a thicket
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

You're the David Bellamy of B3ta
'Weach for the Swowd'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:29, Reply)

"And all I care about is sex and voilence, a base line is my kind of silance" ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:12, Reply)

HEAVY

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

I'm upset, really upset
I've been playing call of duty 2 for 17 straight hours
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Not you too Al?
I thought you were cultured.
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:42, Reply)

He is
but only in the sense that he has fungus growing all over him
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

I'm like a little pot of Actimel
Good in your guts.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

That made my colon retract
in a sexual way
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

I always had a good gut feeling about you.

( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

+ being inside me
Fuck this shit, I'm going to do some work
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Don't bother
you'll only fuck it up like every other thing in your life
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

I'll have you know that I'm exceptionally good
at removing lint from my belly button. Beat that, science!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Any good?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:11, Reply)

NOOOOOOOO!
I got so angry I punched a wall
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Seems a bit much, have a glass of milk to calm yourself down.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:21, Reply)

Seriously now boys, that link was really big on Friday or Saturday, now it's tired.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Oh sorry becky, it's just that some of us aren't on the internet all the time
and so don't get to see these videos the day they get made.

*huffs*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Wasn't it in the newsletter?
No wait, about 5 people mailed it to me and said haaaaaaaaaa, I wonder if your ex is at that stage yet.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:32, Reply)

Haha
I'm now glad I don't own an up to date console.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

I'm sure your fiance would find ways to distract you from the game

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

I'm currently a bit addicted to Civilisation 4 again
But I'm handling it okay, I only play it when she's out of the house, or busy doing something else.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Pity me. I am a MW2 widow.
I was not invited to the cenotaph though. Bastards.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Do you like that robbin williams song, Angels?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Is it as good as Lisa Loebs "Stay"?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

It's almost as good as that Semisonic song "Closing Time".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:42, Reply)

You're forgetting Breakfast at Tiffany's

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Oh man, I love that song.
That's the one that goes "Woooooo OHHHH, we're half way there, take my hand, we'll make it I sware" isn't it?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:45, Reply)

How about that More than words song?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:45, Reply)

That song made my prom
when me and Gonz danced to that, I knew they had written it about our feelings toward each other.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:47, Reply)

No, that's Flashdance (What a feeling)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:46, Reply)

You should see me in a leotard recreating that video.
It's quite a sight to behold.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:53, Reply)

I heard you used a stunt double
Just saying...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:54, Reply)

It's got nothing on Wonderwall

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

I'm just going to link to this instead.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6547322
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:43, Reply)

OMG you put up a /talk link on here
I'm sure that's breaking some unwritten rule.

*Gazzes mods*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:45, Reply)

your face is against some unwritten rule
*gazzes mods*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:46, Reply)

pfft

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:48, Reply)

lame

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:51, Reply)

it got one laugh
that's enough for me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:53, Reply)

A pfft isn't a laugh, it's more of an 'Oh you silly sad fuck' sigh

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:55, Reply)

that's not how I see it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:56, Reply)

That's how I see your face

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:58, Reply)

at least you see it at all
*rejoices*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Now THAT is a good use of this phrase
Vipros, you got totally pwned there.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:01, Reply)

She shoots, she SCORES

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:02, Reply)

perhaps
but celebrating it is pretty lame
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaa, I love that you're such a sore loser Vipros
biscuit?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:09, Reply)

surely to be a sore loser I'd have to care?
love one
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:11, Reply)

If you don't care then why are you still replying?
Penguin or club?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:17, Reply)

because any conversation with you is to be cherished
penguin. there's something funny about the chocolate on a club.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Fucking hippy


You're right though, the chocolate on Club bars is a bit rancid
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:25, Reply)

haha
the only thing hippy about me is where my legs meet my body (and all the dope)

was that some kind of test?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:28, Reply)

I hope you're only offended on somebody else's behalf
You can't gaz the mods if you're taking care of your own hurt.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:47, Reply)

This is true

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:48, Reply)

But then I'd have to go round my clique of injustice to ask who can be arsed to gaz the mods when someone's mean to me
I'm not sure I can handle that
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:54, Reply)

it's got to be spontaneous on someone else's part
I'd volunteer, but I know that you aren't going to internet-put-out, so it seems like a waste of time
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Last time was spontaneous
and very very funny
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:57, Reply)

at the time
it got dragged out far too long in a shocking display of internet seriousness
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:01, Reply)

I'm talking about a few weeks ago when I had Bert naughty stepped for being a humungous twatbadger.
That episode you're referring to will most likely rage on as Bert cries himself to sleep every night wishing things had turned out differently.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I think we are talking about totally different things
I'm almost with you now though.

what was the thing a few weeks back? or is it too dull to mention
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Bert was put out at not being top manbitch on here and wanted to know who Gonz was.
So instead of looking around to see that he is in fact a long standing member of these boards, he chose to racially abuse him. ONLINE
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:11, Reply)

ah yeah, that
not as high profile as the recent chompygate
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Yeah I know. Gutted that I missed most of that
Looks like the fallout wasn't too great though
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:17, Reply)

it was quite painful in the end
as much as it hurts to say, despite efforts from some, chompy happily maintained the moral and intellectual high ground.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:24, Reply)

I clicked the bits that I saw that I liked. I think that's good enough

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Them's the rules
Don't make me bully you...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:55, Reply)

I'm sorry Rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooota, I just can't take the internet seriously enough
I wish I could, dearly do I wish I could
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:57, Reply)

It's that kind of attitude that will lose you friends on the internet
This is serious shit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:05, Reply)

If you're a Northern Monkey yeah

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:17, Reply)

I'm no monkey
I'm some kind of feral ferret
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:25, Reply)

So you stink too. Nice work.
Really, nice work.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:26, Reply)

I smell of onions and sugar puffs

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:30, Reply)

sugar puffs are the shittest of all cereals
FACT
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:31, Reply)

I can't eat them
They smell of piss
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Becky, becks, do you mind if I call you B-miestah ?
I wish to formaly and humblery appologize for any tresspasses I may have made. Please don't get your White Knight In Shinying Binary to call that I am banned from this internet forum.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:50, Reply)

I dunno Gonz, maybe you're due for a hotstepping
,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:56, Reply)

I don't think cr3 likes me in that way.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Gaz him and ask him

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Huge and floaty is a bad combination
I had to beat it to death with the toilet brush.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I'm doing just fine
Our pub now has Take That's greatest Hits on the jukebox and the gaffer gave me a quid, so I rocked the house with wikkid tracks. And a bit of Stevie Ray Vaughan.
Then the punters bought me two glasses of wine.
Then the gaffer gave me a bowl of soup to take home. Peanut butter and parsnip ftw. It's gorgeous, and not gash.

I have the glow that only a recipient of human kindness would know.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:31, Reply)

peanut butter and parsnip soup....
interesting

stevie ray vaughn is the business. particularly Pride and Joy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:36, Reply)

We only have The House is Rockin' on our jukebox
And that song's very short.
When I told my uncle this, he offered to donate a CD, but I don't think there's much call for Stevie in our place. Only one person other than me put him on the jukebox and he was American.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:38, Reply)

he is under appreciated
you need to educate the punters
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:43, Reply)

I'm too busy taking drinks from them

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:47, Reply)