Today I have two questions for you people
Firstly, I recently purchased a ticket to go and see Rock God and tony person Ronnie James Dio with his popular beat combo down at the local town hall. Sadly due to illness he had to cancel the show and ticketmaster promised me a refund on the ticket. Now, they have refunded me the princely sum of £27.75. However, I spent £30 on buying the ticket (along with all the fees that go with it). So my question to you is, should I be entitled to the full £30 back?

Secondly, Scottish independence. Alex Salmond is putting forward a white paper calling for a referendum on independence. Is Scottish independence a good idea? Can they actually sustain their own economy without the support of the rest of the UK? Will the rest of the UK suffer significantly without the benefit that Scotland bring? I really don't know if it's a good or bad thing so educate me please people.

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(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 8:49, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

booking fees
are an absolute bastard to claim back I have found. Oh and tony person? is he a secret Ant(h)ony?
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 8:53, Reply)

Tony who?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 8:57, Reply)

you
said tony instead of tiny when describing rjd

"to go and see Rock God and tony person Ronnie James Dio"
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:00, Reply)

Oops
well spotted. I think i'll leave it in now.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:01, Reply)

also
fuck me its £30 to go gigging these days?

Christ think it cost me about £8 the first time I saw Motorhead
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:03, Reply)

Times have changed Grandad!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:04, Reply)

not quite
35 today so halfway there.

Its odd, i'll spend £80 on a bottle of whisky but frown at spending £25 plus to watch a game of footie
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:05, Reply)

Humpy Biffday!
I turn 34 next Friday. Woo!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:32, Reply)

cheers
matey!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Happy birthday, dear boy
I've regularly spent £100 on cognac, but would baulk at spending ten new pence on watching a bunch of retarded ponces mincing around in alice bands and tights. Pointless cretins to a man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

ahh
I watch mainly non-league footie, but am doing a slow lazy 92 club.
Never got into cognac either, too sweet for me
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I assumed he had won a Tony award
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/63rd_Tony_Awards and wondered what show he'd been in.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:52, Reply)

I think Scotland could sustain themselves
if the north sea oil revenues were left with us. My only concern would be the fact that the idiots in charge would fuck it all up, ego's out of control, little smeagles flapping in the wind as they went.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 8:55, Reply)

haha
they might fuck up but compared to the last flailing days of the Tory party in the mid nineties, and the limping embarrassement that is the current government? At least we could be english again without being accused of being a xenophobic bnp supporter
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 8:59, Reply)

Scottish independence
It all depends on who you listen to. If you believe Alex Salmond, then Scotland will be the richest country in the world because of all of 'our' oil revenues.

However, this is the same Mr Salmond who cited Iceland as a model for an independent Scotland, about a week before its economy collapsed almost entirely, due to the banking crisis*.

And he conveniently ignores the fact that the £10 billion a year or whatever which would come from North Sea oil, would be instead of, not in addition to, a similar sum currently allocated to Scotland by the Westminster government. A sum which is larger, per capita, than most of the UK. And a steady amount, not linked to oil prices, and oil supply.

So no. Scottish Independence wouldn't work, in my view. England might be better off if Scotland were a separate country, but we Scots would not. Especially if we were entirely governed by that bunch of eejits in Edinburgh.


*Thus spawning my favourite joke of the time - What is the capital of Iceland? About £3.57
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:00, Reply)

I like that joke

(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:04, Reply)

also
I'm no expert, but I'm assuming the North Sea reserves are rather finite, the running out of which would presumably leave an independent Scotland up shit creek, crazed on jellies and Buckfast?

NB I fucking love Scotland, this was meant to be affectionate mockery.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:10, Reply)

No offence taken,
the fact is that being crazed on jellies and buckie is a lifestyle that a fair percentage of the locals adhere to. They actually withdrew 'jellies' quite a long time ago, due to the amount of leg amputations having to be performed. This would occur when said junkie would inject the jelly part from the pill and it would solidify in their vein, causing it to go gangrenous. I usually see about 6 or seven monopeds every dinner time, not the same ones mind.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:15, Reply)

say what you like about the Scots,
they are FUCKING HARDCORE and no mistake.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

If by "FUCKING HARDCORE" you mean "Whinging drunk transvestites", then yes, yes they are.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

This one time
just as they were withdrawing Jellies from circulation, i went to score some puff off of a shadowy character i worked with. He asked if i wanted any jellies and i declined. He wouldn't take no for an answer though, and ushered me into a bedroom were he produced a black bin bag half filled with them....he could barely lift it up. He had a 'friend' at the incinerator who was lovely enough to put some aside for him as opposed to burning them like he should have.

I wonder how many amputations were in that bag.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:26, Reply)

The idea is....
having all these technical minded, energy orientated experts in our country, we will be ideally placed to use the profits from the North Sea Oil to become a world leader in Renewable energies. Throw in the renewable potential of places like the Western Isles or the Pentland firth for Sea power, or the windy hills and glens we do actually have a fair bit of potential if this renewable idea ever really becomes huge.

Not too long ago we were also the trailblazers in Nuclear energy with (iirc) the worlds first functional Nuclear power plant and certainly the worlds first fast-reactor.

I believe an independent Scotland would work, but with the plebs like Salmond running things, we're likely to be a fair bit worse off than under plebs like Blair and Brown.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:32, Reply)

How would it work though?
would you have a closed border system? Would English people not be entitled to use your healthcare system? How Scottish would you have to be to qualify for the benefits of your own country? One parent? One grandfather?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:40, Reply)

There was a /links post
that had a great description/animation of how the Berlin Wall worked in its hey-day. But I DON'T search for LINKS for BULLIES!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:17, Reply)

I see. Makes sense I suppose
And yes, Salmond is a helmet. He doesn't do his country an favours that I can see.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:41, Reply)

what are jellies?
Never heard of them before.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Temazepan

(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

I've tried it a few times, I just can't get away with that almondy taste though

(TheColonel, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:41, Reply)

ah
cheers!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Legally you're only entitled to the face value of the ticket.
As for the porridge wogs, far too many of them are Ginger. Let them get their independence and starve to death.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:13, Reply)

strawberry blonde, i think you'll find

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:16, Reply)

No.
There is only Humans, and EVIL GINGE SCUM. "Strawberry Blonde" is like saying "Partial Flid".
It's a Ginge, to the camps with it. Better that a thousand blondes die than one Ginge survives.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Ok
There is GINGER, when the hair is effectively orange, and that IS horrible. However,some ladies have this lovely strawberry blonde (semi ginger) hair that is usually naturally curly, shoulder length is best. It flaps beautifully as they walk and personally i think it is most alluring. OK, they probably are the owner of a 'fire fanny', but that doesn't matter, those lovely locks do it for me everytime.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Ginger perv

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:32, Reply)

^This.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Fire Fanny
Haha
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:32, Reply)

I can't see having ginger pubes as being a disadvantage for a girl
for a guy clearly it's laughable, but for a girl, still hot.

I dig the gingers though so I'm probably biased.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Generally
if a man *wants* in a girls pants, once he gets there it would take something truely outrageously grotesque to put him off. I don't think ginger pubes is quite that traumatic...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Except of course for the old adage...
Rusty roof, smelly garage.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:56, Reply)

I LOVE that phrase, I really do

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:11, Reply)

That seems so bent to me
so for the privilege of providing me with nothing, ticketmaster earned £2.25. What a ridiculous system.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

...and you'd know all about 'bent', you great woofter
The whole booking fee scam stinks. How the fuck can you get tapped for a booking fee - and a processing fee, which I've had before? What's the difference? Thieving, scalping crooks, you can tell that the British 'entertainment industry' descends from cunts like the Krays.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

That comment sounds decidedly homophobic
as if being a great woofter was somehow a bad thing. I'm not sure I like your tone. You bummer.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I was standing up to bullies like mummy told me to
you helm-gobbling chutney ferret
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

I wish someone would produce evidence of this "bullying" i'm alleged to partake in.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:30, Reply)

You're doing it now! Stop bullying me!!
I'm warning you - any more of this hateful behaviour and I'm cock-gazzing the mods.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Give them independence
Then invade in a poorly reasoned and thought out war, destroying their infastructure and turning a vast proportion of them against us, we should take no heed of civilain casulaties and consequently create an ongoing guerilla war where everyone loses.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:31, Reply)

I would love to see a guerilla war in Scotland
small gangs of drunken bampots staggering out of doorways to throw boots at English military patrols before keeling over and swearing as they vomit on themselves. I bet it would be really scary.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:34, Reply)

If we can't fight them out... we'll breed them out

I once saw the evil English rapist guy from Braveheart in my local pub, best celebrity spot eva!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

We do have a highly skilled band of knife experts,
seasoned in the art of 'chibbing', so beware!

Here is a quote from yesterdays paper to prove it.

"As Graham lay bleeding, Smith, 19, danced around him, laughing and shouting: "Ha ha, ya dafty, you've been stabbed"

www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2009/11/24/thug-stabbed-man-in-unprovoked-attack-than-danced-around-victim-86908-21845821/

The mind boggles.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

that's hilarious

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:08, Reply)

and in all honesty
that doesn't surprise me one bit.


still funny though
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Don't forget that the English army
is full of scots. The rest are welsh, scousers and geordies.

I think they would kick our soft southern arses, even if they were all drunk and covered in sick.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

A great irony about the Scots' desire for independence
I know we joke about Her Maj and all her associated hangers-on being German, but someone actually showed me, fairly convincingly as far as I could see, that if you trace the lineage right from the first Saxon king of whatever-the-country-was-called-back-then* and follow it through to our present Queen, it turns out they're more Scottish than they are German or anything else.

So we have a semi-Scot** on the throne and a Scottish Prime Minister. And the Scots want independence...slow clap?


*_{I'm a lousy historian, which is possibly why I was convinced by this...}
**_{And let's face it, Charlie-boy makes it fairly obvious by seizing every opportunity to wear a tartan skirt...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

and assuming things go as expected
the next Prime Minister will be a Cameron.

Hoots mon (all Scottish people say that, all the time. FACT).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Fock, I hadnae thort o' tha'!
We're being overrun by the buggers. At least if the Lib Dems won the next election we could all stand in the street singing "Corporal Clegg had a wooden leg."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

utter fucking TUNE

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Ah but
there's nothing Scots hate more than poncy posh-schooled yah's who would do anything to be English. They're not one of us!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

O Flower of Scotland!
INDEPENDENCE for my persecuted people!

The problem with Scottish independence that I have is this: all the best jobs are in the south of England, more specifically, London. Ordinary people from all walks of life who are suitably educated, trained or just generally hard-working and ambitious will come south to get them.

It's the affluent south and cities that prop up the rest of the UK. But the south needs its well trained workforce and *that* can come from anywhere. When I meet people in Cambridge or London I hear northern, midland, Welsh, Nor'n Irish and Scottish accents. It's easy to quantify "Central UK government gives £Xm to Scottish parliament" but it's a lot harder to quantify "Y thousand workers who were educated fully in Scotland have now come south to pay tax". As one such individual I think full Scots independence would be a dangerous thing as workers would still come south but we wouldn't be propped up by London anymore. I'd be guilt-tripped into returning home lest Scotland might become really poor like some kind of massive Yorkshire.

Ultimately, we've got a parliament, an anthem, a flag, a football team (even if it's pish) and our own culture. What the hell else do you need to be a country? What else would independence give us?
( djtrialprice, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I would think you less of a fraud.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:53, Reply)

I'd also be going back home
to get away from your frightful bullying
( djtrialprice, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Very true
there will always be more money (and opportunities) in London and we just have that culture where the best people will flock there. We'll be left with SIMPLETONS.

You get the impression that the whole independence argument is a kind of super-paranoid selfishness about money. What!? Some of our oil money goes to London!?! That is absurd!! - This must stop!!!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:56, Reply)

^This
Except that we don't actually have an official anthem. 'Flower of Scotland' may well be the one which is sung at the rugby, but it's not technically the national anthem.

Personally, I think Burns's "A Man's a Man for A' That"* would be better. It's a nicer tune, you don't have a problem with playing it on the pipes (except the top B, but that's not as bad as the lack of a C natural in FoS) and the words aren't all about kicking the shit out of the English.


*Yes, I know that's not its actual title, but if I said "Is There for Honest Poverty" most folk wouldn't have a clue what I was on about.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 10:59, Reply)

I hate the sod-the-english mentality
but I do love Flower of Scotland, I think it's a cracking tune and sing it loudly when drunk.

Wish I'd been in the pub to watch the rugby last weekend :(
( djtrialprice, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Scotland the Brave
is it not, officially?

I think the only reason this isn't used is that too many people would be likely to sing the "Highland Granny" version
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 11:19, Reply)

I can't take that song seriously
since Fletcher sang a parody of it in Porridge.
( djtrialprice, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 11:45, Reply)

That is a fine song
But I don't mind Flower of Scotland at all...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Flower of Scotland always makes me cry
probably because I'm as true a Scot as Al is a Geordie.

If the BNP had their way I'd be packed off back to Glasgow or Stirling.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 12:56, Reply)