Morning flashers
I'm in jolly spirits today. Must be my new pants.

How are you doing?

just noticed on some junk email from compare the market that there is a petition to get "simples" into the OED. Fuck that shit. Those adverts were mildly amusing at first, now they are just crap.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:12, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tip top!
Despite my dodgy guts. Farting is very dangerous. Like twisting on 19 in Pontoon...
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Guilty
went into the cafe across the road to take advantage of their £1.50, roll'n'bacon and a cup of tea for £1.50. I have been in plenty of times, and more or less always order the same thing, varying the roll filling depending on my hangover intensity. I only had £1.50, so when the guy asked for £2.50, i was a bit surprised, they stopped doing the deal last week. You think he would have mentioned it before he made my order, anyways the upshot is that I had to leave owing the guy a quid, a quid i won't have until tomorrow.

The bacon roll was rather excellent, truth be told, better than normal. They probably now use proper bacon, apposed to the pig shavings they seemed to use when they had the offer on.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:18, Reply)

I'm full of fruit and tea
and dietary determination.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

excellent stuff
I forgot to bring any tea with me today. I've been consuming green tea recently. It's good shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

I used to drink green tea but the delight of PG tips soon had me in it's grip again.
Not to mention lovely Earl Grey for those moments when you pretend that you're very posh.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:31, Reply)

I'm not a fan of Earl Grey
I was brought up on Twinnings English Breakfast, so PG tips just doesn't cut it.

I like the green stuff though, it's good.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:33, Reply)

I drink green tea at work
As it doesn't need milk and thus avoids the hassle of joining some kind of milk rota. Still drink regular tea at home though.
This morning I opened the fancy "Oatly" milk substitute made from oats and found it's shit in tea :-(
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

The first rule of Tea Club...
Me and Westy (colleague) are founder members of the PB Tea Club. Different blend every month. There's only us two in it. So far we've had Twinings Everyday, Twinings Assam and we're now on some fair trade shite. I hate my life.

And I've just broken the first two rules of Tea Club...
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:33, Reply)

I went to the docs and yesterday got weighed
I've only put on a kilo since June when I thought I'd been eating pretty badly. I assume it's because I'm drinking considerably less alcohol than I was a few months ago. Hopefully, by making a few small but important changes to my diet I can shift this gut. Lolfatty.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

drinking less really helps
I'm fairly sure I'm keeping the weight off mainly because I'm not drinking much.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)

A little bit of belly is nice.
A girl needs somewhere to rest her head when watching the TV.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)

very well
still in bed, and have no intention of getting out of it any time soon, apart from for the odd smoke.
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Well, I've been here for an hour
and had 2 coffees so now I just about feel ready to see what fuckwitery our clients are going to bring me today!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:34, Reply)

I was OK
until you told me that there is a petition to get "simples" into the OED. The only people who would entertain such a pathetic notion would be a bunch of 'simples' themselves.

*despairs*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

I knew you'd be similarly outraged
those fuckers. I hate that shit. Almost as much as people I know saying "yarp" instead of yes.

it's mildly amusing in a film. it's not in real life. I had to chastise my missus for doing it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Just as bad as the nobs that wander around every high street
shouting "Green Army" despite the fact they probably don't know where Plymouth is, let alone support the Pilgrims. Bloody stupid herd mentality.
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:40, Reply)

I *hate* the public
Ghastly people, to a man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

I phoned an acquantince of mine one day
only to be greeted by a pre-recorded voice mail in the voice of that stupid fucking meerkat, telling me to leave a message. Needless to say it ended with "simples" and that stupid fucking noise it makes..I totally forgot what i was phoning for and launched into a abusive tirade about his choice of message. I mean, he must have had to consciously decide he wanted it, phoned or texted some idiot number and eventually paid for the privilege.

I haven't heard from him since.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

good
don't need people like that in your life.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Good work old boy
Excellent, in fact.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

*firm handshakes*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:16, Reply)

^ TOP-NOTCH SIG ALERT ^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:22, Reply)

:-)
Although I *will* play poker at all.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:58, Reply)

We are truely doomed

When advertising becomes such an interesting point of cultural reference that enough people would sign a PR based petition to get a catchphase legally recognised as a word.

In other word based news, I remeber that program Balderdash and Piffle and they discovered that the phrase a ploughmans lunch was from an advertising campaign for cheese in the 70's.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

that ploughman's thing is interesting
at least that fucking vauxhall "Come on!" thing didn't catch on. and the budweiser thing went away quite quickly.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Just shows that something that could be true
will often be taken as true, who would argue that ploughmen didn't take a hunk of bread and some cheese into the field for lunch?

In the same way how could you argue that the US government wasn't involved in 9/11 it's soo obvious.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)

that show was excellent I thought
despite having a fucking Coren on it.

And your comment on this PR driven 'phenomenon' summarises my feelings exactly. Doomed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

it was good
and despite her being a Coren, I still would
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I quietly quite like Coren's
Giles had a good piece last week about the Kate Moss "scandle" of her saying "nothing tastes as good as thin feels".

This sounds like a good mantra to live by in this age of burgoning obsesity, he also pointed out that the paper that shouted the loudest was runnning an article on the same day about a celebrity that had lost 8st and how misaerable she was when she was fat and how brilliant it now is to be thin!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I was thin once.
It wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:57, Reply)

It's all relative

As long as you're not creating health issues and you're happy with yourself then you're actual weight/mass is irrelevant.

I've always been really thin naturally, now I'm a little older I'm growinga little pot belly which is massivley unattractive!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I like pot bellies on men.
I think I may need to get another B3ta badge made.

The B3ta ladies male pot bellies appreciation society.

I can't be the only one.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:09, Reply)

*opens lager*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Yay
So my mrs isn't a weirdo for enjoying my hirsute gut cushion? Bonus.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:17, Reply)

if you'd ever read Giles' leaked rant to a sub editor
you wouldn't like him any more, I promise.

A more pompous helmet you will struggle to find, anywhere.


EDIT: now's your chance: www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/jul/23/mediamonkey
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

No you're right I'd forgotten about that

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:03, Reply)

what a cunt
'3) And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed 'a' so that the stress that should have fallen on "nosh" is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you're winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can't you hear? Can't you hear that it is wrong? It's not fucking rocket science. It's fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.'


Do know what else isn't 'fucking rocket science', you blithering imbecile? Knowing the appropriate spelling of 'meter' when talking about language. FAIL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:07, Reply)

what a penis
I'd still bang Victoria though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:08, Reply)

Me too
and I'd phone Giles halfway through, just to upset him, shouting 'IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE, I'M FUCKING YOUR SISTER UP THE FUCKING ARSE'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:13, Reply)

you've made me laugh several times today already
you monumental twat. my nearest colleague already thinks I'm mental.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I aim to please *bows*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Haha ha ha ha

Perhaps she could explain to you the origins of the word bugger during.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:21, Reply)

Good use of the word 'helmet.'

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Was fine now shit

I find not opening my emails makes life a lot easier.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Head sore . . .
I blame the three cans of red bull.


(eyes dart nervously . . . it's going to be a long night)
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Brilliant!
Where do I find this petition?! I love stuff like that, me! Wassssuuuuuuuup! Ha ha ha! Yay, brilliant! Wooooah, body forrrrm, body form for youuuuu!

Kill me. Now.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I'm happy as Larry
I get paid tomorrow. It feels like it's been a looong time.

Oh, and I could look at the Aleksandr all day long. The only way life could improve is if him and Sergei get a friend who is an otter.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:41, Reply)