Enough about you lot
I had a cracking weekend. Got bladdered on friday night with some good mates. Had a lie in, followed by an awesome fry up on saturday, then got some house stuff done. Quiet night in with the mrs. Sunday was another lie in, followed by an exciting afternoon of my band's CD launch party.

Was a great laugh, despite being half-cut from sloe gin before playing our second set.

what did you get up to?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:19, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Motorhead and the Damned on Saturday.
Absolutely fucking superb. I'd forgotten what a great frontman Dave Vanian is and, despite my only really liking the first two LPs, I was really impressed with their show. Captain Sensible is a lot better guitarist than I was aware of too.

'What do you think? Better than the Sex Pistols' quipped Vanian at one point. Actually no, but very good all the same.

Motorhead are always

a)the same, and
b)fucking genius

but it was a particularly good set I thought. Perhaps the company I was with helped make it a great night out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:25, Reply)

The Damned are much better than the Sex Pistols
and I will stick to this until Dave Vanian decides to start selling butter.
( Peej, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:45, Reply)

It's not that fair to compare
If the Damned had split up after just the one LP then there'd be a more level playing field, perhaps. As an entertaining live act and a cultural phenomenon the Pistols win hands down - as a band of quality musicians the Damned are much better. Lydon's lyrics can be superb though - he doesn't get the credit he deserves for them, as the gobbing and scandal get the attention.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Friday I went to the pretentious MK alternative night, got hammered.
Had to look after my housemates girlfriend while she puked up in my toilet.

Saturday, hungover, emptied the fridge of food and booze during the afternoon, then went up to Leicester for a house party.

Sunday, I cooked a roast for a couple of mates.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:25, Reply)

why wasn't your housemate looking after his girlfriend?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

He's in Afghanistan.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

that's about as good an excuse as you can get

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Oh and I forgot, I recieved agressivly sexual messages from a girl I went to school with at 3am on sunday morning.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:59, Reply)

sounds lovely
had you seen her recently?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:10, Reply)

bumped into her about 3 weeks ago, before that not for about 3-4 years.
I have a feeling she was drunk, and the messages probably weren't for me.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:13, Reply)

pretty weird if that is not the case
I was doing some mild stalkbooking the other day, and noticed (via Flim-flam's friends) that you seem to have an unusual name. Is it pronounced in an unusual way or is it an unusual spelling of a name with which I am more familiar?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:15, Reply)

yes there's not much you can say when someone sends you "jack yourself off and eat it, bitch" while you're asleep.
Rory is fine, traditional Irish pronunciation is a bit like brewery without the b.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:17, Reply)

haha, you'd expect there to be some kind of build up to that
that's pretty much as I thought.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Eeeee that's fucking vile hahah
I thought the same thing about your name on Flim's Faceache, but I didn't know it was you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:32, Reply)

why haven't you befriended me huh?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Are you the big one with the intimidating stare?
I thought it was you.
I'll add you then, you crying little fucker!

Anyone else while I'm there???
*tuts*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:40, Reply)

I'm the one with the guitar

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:42, Reply)

yeah, that's the one
he looks like he stands on kids' toys
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:43, Reply)

One for your sig there ,Vip.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:44, Reply)

too right

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:46, Reply)

actually doing that?
or metaphorically?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Both son

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:47, Reply)

very astute of you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:50, Reply)

very hirsute of you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:53, Reply)

*trigger fingers*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Me!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I dunno which one you are
Are you the fat woman dressed as a maypole?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Not unless she's got a beard
Then maybe.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:49, Reply)

There isn't a beard filter on the friends search

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:53, Reply)

shocking lapse
I will be taking facebook to task about that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:54, Reply)

^^ this

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 12:10, Reply)

What were you doing going to school at 3am on a Sunday?
Catholic Ninja School?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Strangley enough my weekend started out similar
Got bladdered Friday night with my girlfriend and some good mates, fry up the next morning (see, told you it started similar) followed by shopping for a motorbike and then seeing Dragonforce, Sylosis, Glamour of the Kill and Sabaton in Preston in the evening. Lie in 'till 10:30am on Sunday and then back to preston to purchase my new motorbike (Suzuki GSX-R 600! Eeeee! Excited!) and then tanned some COD: Modern Warfare 2 before going to see the girlfriend again :)

I dunno why anyone but me would care about any of this, but meh, you just read it
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

The only thing that matters about my weekend
is that a tried out my cast iron Le Creuset griddle for the first time...Best. Steak. EVAH!

Oh baby, i've got the meat horn just thinking about it. I also made a stilton sauce to go with it.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:28, Reply)

bah
I've still got to wait 4 weeks for my griddle pan

damn it!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Ah...Christmas. That old chestnut.
When i told my mum I had bought one she suggested that she gave me the money and took it as a chrimbo pressie for me.

Not gonna happen mum. Nice Idea but I want my perfectly cooked steaks now.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:32, Reply)

I hadn't been able to find one I liked
so I set my mum the task, which saved me going out of my way. The Le Creuset one just didn't seem quite right to me. not sure why.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Get in there son
What did I tell ya? Griddled steaks rule the fucking universe.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Yes, it's all thanks to you (the power of suggestion :D)
I was worried about the steak I was going to cook, it had a few large streaks of fat running through it, but the griddle cooked it to perfection and the fat melted into the meat....can someone get me a towel, i'm drooling everywhere!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:35, Reply)

I can almost taste it
Promise me you'll try that chimichurri stuff at some point. Best steak accompaniment of. all. time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:47, Reply)

I promise
and I dont have me fingers crossed or nuffink
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:09, Reply)

My wife wanted to see New Moon
So I took her to see it.

It was fucking shit.
( Peej, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Never agreed with anything more
wankest film ever!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Is that something to do with this "Twilight" thingy?
I dont think i'm their target audience (emo vampires?)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:40, Reply)

says Colonel DRACULA...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Yeah, I have a silly username
it comes from The Simpsons, Homer is watching TV and it says, "On Next: Colonel Dracula joins the navy".
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:11, Reply)

I'm fascinated by people's choice of usernames and sigs
I always wonder about them and the motivation behind choosing them.

Mine is too complicated and silly to explain, I'm afraid.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:17, Reply)

complicated and silly is what b3ta is all about
mine is pretty dull.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Yes
Nothing actually happens for 2 hours except some guys taking their tops off, which in turn makes every teenage girl in the cinema have a little girly scream followed by a titter at their own girly screams. Then in the last ten minutes something actually happens but its fucking retarded.

*edit* In fact last night my daughter puked all over herself and her bed. I cleaned the vomit from her hair and bathed her. I then cleaned and remade her bed and put all her stinking puke covered clothes and bedding in to the washing machine before putting her back to bed at 2am. I would rather do this every night than see New Moon again.
( Peej, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Christ how fucking awful.
Hope you got a nosh out of it.

/vulgar
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:50, Reply)

No
and that made it worse. When I got home she said "I'm tired I'm off to bed" when I voiced my disapproval I was told "Its always about sex with you isn't it"

I said "Yes" and got none.
( Peej, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Ah man that sucks.
Not literally, unfortunately for you...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:55, Reply)

I mostly stayed in, and it was bliss.
I was looking after the building and the cats for my landlord.
I had nice food and booze.
I got a haircut and dye, (I've since chopped a chunk out of my fringe - oops) went shopping and for a pint with my dad, bought a Freeview box for upstairs, and last night did my quiz.
Rah.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Grand trip to Aberdeen
Friday night met up with 10-20 of my bestest buddies, some of whom I hadn't seen in months. We basically got rowdy and took over a pub, it was wonderful. Later met up with the bird and we went back to hers.

Saturday watched the sheep-shaggers destroy Scotland's shame 1-0. Brilliant! Ambled back to a mates flat for a couple of beers. Hit a pub just off Union St. then and got a Steak (was shit and cost 20 quid). More booze, hit the strippers, hit a night-club, met up with the bird again.

Spent Sunday lying in bed with herself, watched some telly, listened to some music, played the Harmonica badly and then boogied up North not before buying shit food from Burger King.

So all in all a fantastic weekend, marred by spending a fantastic amount of money. And now I'm back at work - sickening.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Sounds ace. Good work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Yes.
Very well done - though you do let yourself down by failing to mention narcotics and sordid sexual activities I think an A- is in order.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Why thank you
I know I'm capable of more though, maybe next weekend. I'm suffering for it now!

The strippers was absolutely hilarious because we were so drunk. In fact the slags started to avoid us because we were having such a laugh. One brave soul approached our group and said to me "Hey handsome, what are you looking for?", to which I replied "I'm looking for my gran, I'm supposed to be meeting her for bingo". Sounds shit now but oh how we laughed at the awkward naked girl.

The private sexual exploits must remain private!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 13:00, Reply)

Did you find that you got more pissed
due to recent abstinence? I think it's more to do with atmosphere and what you have/haven't eaten, myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Friday, was in bed by midnight
No drink or drugs to speak of, which set me up nicely for Saturday. Brother in law arrived bearing gifts of booze. 6 Aventinus, 6 Desperado's and a half bottle of Buckfast, the dirty bastard...he took the Buckie back home with him, incidentally. Oh, and a pack of those daft cocktail sausages, hot and spicy no less. I supplied the Absolut and the drugs.

The Desperado's were some weird beer/tequilla hybrid, that were sickly sweet and quite revolting...still, i choked back 3 of them. Too many vodkas, then the Aventinus, which is 8.5% dark wheat beer, absolutely amazing stuff, and after a long lay off, a shop up here was stocking them again. By 5am i was bouncing off the walls and suggesting we get the salvia out. I did, done a bong which basically kicked the legs from under me, pay down on the bed and vibrated for about 15 minutes. Shortly thereafter he suggested cooking up the nasty cocktail sausages, so they all went in the frying pan, with some onion and despite my reservations were actually very tasty, in a colon cancer sort of way.

Fortunately they never made it to my colon, as after about 20 mins sleep i was wakened by a very urgent need to vomit...i made it to my bedroom door and spluttered the first wave back down, thankfully got to the kitchen and heaved several gallons of rich brown effluence into the sink....skipped back to bed a new man and slept for 6 hours in what seemed like 6 seconds.

Made a Grade 1 breakfast, avoiding all mention of cocktail sausages and then lay prone on the couch for four hours. Now tonight I am off to see Koyanaasqatsi at the cinema, which should be pretty fantastic. Keeping it clean though, it is a Monday after all.

EDIT to say, i accidentally locked the cats in the living room and was wakened with 3 shits on floor, and the whole house absolutely stinking.. stupid twat.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 12:19, Reply)

I once had one of those Desperados
fucking disgusting.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 13:40, Reply)

100th reply
thread over.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I SAY IT'S NOT!!!
Actually it is, start another one.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 13:32, Reply)