If you were Carol Vordeman I'd sign up right now.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:33, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I saw Carol Vordamon

wanking off a slice of pizza on the One show last night, I reckon fat geek's balls exploded all over Britain.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Mine just exploded...
...when I read that!

Mmmmm Pizza.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

PIZZA?
Someone said pizza?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Mmmmmmmmmmm pizza
My little girl asks for Pizza every morning when I ask her what she wants for breakfast.

I'm so proud :D
( Peej, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Haha bless her!
I ask for pizza when I'm asked what I want to eat... I've gone for 5 days without eating chips and I'm so proud, me and DiT are on a dieting before Xmas thing - boooo.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 14:56, Reply)

can I enquire as to whose idea this was?
I can't believe a man (a real man) actually *wants* to diet.
( djtrialprice, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

It sure as hell wasn't my idea
I like chips and sweets too much! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:03, Reply)

I haven't met you but I've heard that you're well fit
PANDATRON DISENGAGE

and DiT is a well proportioned young man as well. Stop this dieting nonsense at once!
( djtrialprice, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Hahaha alrighty then
You are correct though, DiT is a well proportioned young man, I don't think he needs to diet, but he thinks he needs to cut back on a few things, so I'm assisting, sort of.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:07, Reply)

I think he needs to diet
our tummys kept slapping together and the noise was putting me off.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Awww
I would imagine that would be quite off putting.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:10, Reply)

You should know
OH NO HE DIDNT!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

NO BUFFET OF DREAMS FOR YOU PAL!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:18, Reply)

But! But! But!
DiT already said I could come! I've hired the costume and everything!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Are you turning up dressed as a turkey?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:29, Reply)

It helps me keep count of thrusts.
I can only jizz on prime numbers of thrust.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:12, Reply)

I wanted to lose weight
because wookie kept posting that photo of me and it made me sad.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:03, Reply)

that pic fills me with joy
because it looks just like you x
( djtrialprice, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Aww
there, there
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:06, Reply)

Nah you just say that you "want to diet" and that you should "do it together"
if you think your other half could stand to loose a few pounds.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:04, Reply)

Tru Dat

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

aaaaaah
so which one is the lolfatty then?
( djtrialprice, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:06, Reply)

I've met them both,
they're hideous messes of flab and sweat.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:07, Reply)

Indeed it is true
But don't listen to him ^ he looks like Jack Dee!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Jack Dee is hot 1,910,000 results
Jack Dee is ugly 77,200 results

I think I prove my point.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:10, Reply)

surely not....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:10, Reply)

*rises above the obvious mean reply*
I see.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Come on,
give me your best shot.
I can take it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:12, Reply)

Hehe
Noooooo you'll gaz me out man, I'm going to continue being all sweet and innocent, whilst secretly taking everything down as eviden... oh shit. BALLS.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:14, Reply)

You're not sweet and innocent
I read all your posts in the voice of a screaming hate filled preacher.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:16, Reply)

PRAISE THE LAWD
BE GONE FOUL DEMON!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:17, Reply)

I haven't had chips for weeks
I'm going to bring loads of chips round to your house and eat them in front of you and DiT while you slather like crazy dogs.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Meanie
I'm only doing this for a little bit... I missed out on Xmas food last year as I wasn't feeling very well, so this year I'm going all out and will be consuming many bad things... I may possibly put an entire chicken on a stick and eat it like an ice lolly! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:05, Reply)

I've just got an erection at the thought of that.
I always wanted to get a whole leg of lamb, BBQ it, and then eat it by myself holding the bone and just gnawing at the fucker.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Hahaha
Maybe I should throw a party where everyone has to bring meat on a stick (fnar).
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:10, Reply)

sounds great

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

What would you bring to the party?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:12, Reply)

wild boar
WILD BOAR!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:15, Reply)

I'd like to see you put that on a stick,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:16, Reply)

I was thinking of a leg of it, Asterix-style
and then I was thinking of singing "Wild boar" to the tune of "wild boys" by Duran Duran
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Noooooooo way
I was doing that too! *fears*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:19, Reply)

would you have done that if I hadn't written it the way I did though?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Its possible
My brain is a strange place.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:23, Reply)

so it would seem....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Raarrr
Fancy stuff!

I wonder whether I could stuff sausages in a chicken and then wrap it in bacon... on a stick... with BBQ sauce...
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:16, Reply)

It's possible,
doesn't sound that nice though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:18, Reply)

You're right... its missing something
*snaps fingers*

DUCK!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Duck and ho-sin.
The whole thing battered'n'deep-fried.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Now you're talking!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Bullshit
it sounds fucking awesome, get your butcher to bone a chicken for you (fnar) then stuff it with sausage meat, wrap with full strips of bacon and then cook. I know what I'm making next summer for our BBQ.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:25, Reply)

that does sound great
I'm gutted to have not sampled a bacon explosion...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:28, Reply)

I'll invite you to next years BBQ
I'm hoping it won't rain this time. After three years I deserve a sunny BBQ for once.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:34, Reply)

if I'm coming it will be fine

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Hurrah
Could I come to this one please, I missed out last time on the sausage fest due to working over the weekend! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Nah,
the bacon will over power the taste of the chicken and the sausage meat will be soggy.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:29, Reply)

What if I pre-cooked the sausages?
Bacon overpowers everything, that's why its TEH SHIT!

If Top Trumps did Meat cards bacon would win everything! Fact.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:30, Reply)

you're wrong
bacon doesn't overpower chicken when you wrap a single breast with it, so a whole chicken would be fine.

and the sausagemeat would be just like any sausagemeat stuffing, i.e. awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:31, Reply)

He's just upset
because he's Jack Dee and he has to put a downer on everything, lets move over here and ignore him...

*side steps*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:32, Reply)

This is true

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:34, Reply)

indeed
am I invited to your barbecue of meaty goodness? just saw the above. yay!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:35, Reply)

his meaty stick
and a croissant
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:15, Reply)

that too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Carcass'n'all


ninja editing ahoy!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

I don't know about anyone else here, but I am _so_ turned on at the moment.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

what, with all this highly charged erotic food talk?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:15, Reply)

Don't say too much
you'll encourage Al to use his mad MSPaint skillz and draw a picture.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:15, Reply)

As if that wouldn't be the best thing evah.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:21, Reply)

I have a feeling he may very well be doing one now...

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:24, Reply)