I think the cleaners have been stealing sweets from my drawer at work
either that or the Milkybar Kid has come along and stolen all my chocolate buttons!?! :(

Have you ever experienced theft at work? If you haven't or can't be arsed to answer that question, here's another one... What is your favourite Christmas film of all time? :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 14:55, 88 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't like any of those questions can I have a third but ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO ANSWER IT

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Oh alright, just for you though...
If you were told you had to have a pet and you had to pick from the following, what would you pick:

A ferret with diarrhoea
A frisky mongoose
A dog who loves the humping
A cat that attacks bearded men
A micro pig with a penchant for dressing in pink

Choose man!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:00, Reply)

A cat that attacks bearded men
My parents cat is racist and hates black people. This makes me laugh.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:00, Reply)

That is very strange!?
What colour is the cat?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:07, Reply)

black and white,
it was caused by one of my parents friends toddler (who is black) chasing it round when it was a kitten.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Hahaha

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:12, Reply)

I think the toddler kept calling it a dog as well,
which probably hurt the cats pride.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:18, Reply)

Oh almost
certainly!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:22, Reply)

Duck Soup
Always watched while very drunk
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Like Lu, mine is 'Anal Future 9'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Not had a problem with theft, it was more of people throwing my stuff away....like my glasses...fuckers
I'm partial to the cheesy holiday films that come on Hallmark channel here...Love Comes Softly is probably my favorite, although it isn't really a Christmas movie they always have a marathon of it around Christmas time.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 14:58, Reply)

probably Muppets Christmas Carol
if I had to choose one (that's not one from many, that's a begrudging one)

I suspect you ate your sweets
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 14:59, Reply)

I did not
how dare you!! :-P
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

are you sure?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Yup
Even though I have a lot of sweets at work, I manage to make them last for ages! I had half a packet left last night and today I have about 10 buttons - *cries*

The cleaners eat our biscuits all the time so I am accusing them!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

thieving blighters
you should club them and eat their bones
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

I shall, I shall!
I need a club.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:13, Reply)

The guys at work used to use my cup so I bought one with a kitten on. They leave it alone now.
Favorite Christmas film is Scrooge.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Ah a kitten mug
that's a good idea!! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:08, Reply)

A very PINK kitten mug : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:09, Reply)

It's time to lace your sweeties with laxatives...
I have too many favourite Christmas films.
Most aren't even Christmas films, but because I watch them during the festive season I consider them such.
My favourite Christmas trilogy is all three On The Buses films.
They're normally on ITV3 on Boxing Day and I cry when they're not.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Nooooo not laxatives!!
Ahhh On The Buses - you're right, I see them around on the tv over Xmas! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Why not? That'll learn 'em.
You should watch them. They're so shit. I'm also cooking and stuff. I don't sit and watch intently, but I love the bit where the lion gets on the bus and bites Blakey's bum.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Not had anything stolen
But I often had my hand in the til/safe at the financial institution I used to work at.

Actually, tell a lie: some cunt has nicked my cereal bowl here.

Fave crimble flick would most likely be 1951 Scrooge, muppet Christmas Carol or Lampoons Christmas. Tough choice!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:19, Reply)

real answer: Trading Places

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:19, Reply)

^this^

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Thirded
"Hello, security? Merry Christmas."
( djtrialprice, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:30, Reply)

"THOSE MEN WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!"

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:31, Reply)

The bit where...
... Billy Ray just turns to the camera, breaking the fourth wall, just cracks me up. A quality film, fo' sho'
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:33, Reply)

"Pork bellies, Mr Valentine
such as you might find in a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich"


*looks at camera*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:34, Reply)

"I knew y'all was faggots, you ain't jacuzzing nobody."

( djtrialprice, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Not sure I can actually wait til Xmas
I'm watching the fucker TONIGHT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:42, Reply)

*jealouses*
I won't have time to watch it tonight but I want to now as well.

"Want me to break something else?"
"Noooo!"
( djtrialprice, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:47, Reply)

It's *your* vase, William

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Scrooged.
Great film. Bill Murray at his best.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Of course!
Ghost of Christmas Past still creeps me out a bit... All Bill Murrays brothers are in it, too, I think. Mord Murray for yer Money!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:46, Reply)

Ahhhh
I love that film, its great!! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:48, Reply)

I think my favourite is either
Scrooged or National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Ah yes, the Lampoon one is good.
I love it when he turns on the lights.
( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Hehehe that is great!! :D
I also like the bit when Chevy Chase gets stuck in the loft and then falls through the ceiling!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:52, Reply)

I've not seen it for ages.
When I was in Detroit for Christmas in 1999, sharing a basement bedroom with five blokes, we'd put that on when we came home from drinking at 4am, and we'd never make it past them getting the tree before we were all asleep.
( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:54, Reply)

Hehehe it is one of those films that you watch around Xmas
and fall asleep too. I've seen it about 50 times and I've probably fallen asleep at various stages of the film each time. I do the same thing with Saving Private Ryan and Apollo 13... I've never actually gotten through the entire film awake! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:58, Reply)

Happy Candlebum !

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:53, Reply)

Thank you!
Six years of my life wasted in the best way :)
( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:55, Reply)

I could say the same but I've only been on here for a couple of years now
I just signed up a long time ago
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Aren't we glad we did?
All the freaks we've met?
All the fun we've had?
All the paedophiles we've identified?
All the abuse to and from Al?
Marvellous.
( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:01, Reply)

I've only met two b3tans.
So.
I'm probably not as bad off as the rest of you.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:03, Reply)

2 more than me

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Did you go for curried meats on Tuesday night?

( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:05, Reply)

I didn't make it, to my disappointment
It's only a few minutes from my house so it's not the end of the world, I might go on Saturday at about 6, should be more or less empty then, from experience.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:14, Reply)

It was my first trip there - bloody lovely!

( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:16, Reply)

You cannot fault it for food
Not the world's most relaxing place but fuck it - I'm there for the food, I can relax afterwards.

There's a really nice little bar round the corner on the main road too (I'm trying to remember its name).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:18, Reply)

We stopped in a pub opposite the station.
We were a bit too full for beer though.
However, I did at least manage some alcohol - Pansy Al had a lemonade.
( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:21, Reply)

what. a. gaylord.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Please remind him of this on as many occasions as you can manage.
I informed him at the time that you would be told.
( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:29, Reply)

I will hound him to an early grave with it.
From henceforth I dub him 'Lemonade Boy'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:35, Reply)

yeah but you sleep with mentals

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:05, Reply)

The instability makes it more fun.

( thealternativefact, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:06, Reply)

it's like sleeping with a different person every night
You never get bored (of breaking down your own front door to get in because the NUTTY BITCH HAS LOCKED YOU OUT)...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:16, Reply)

European Vacation is the best one
When they all get those leather tracksuits in Italy it makes me weep with laughter.

'You look cool, Rusty'

'I FEEL cool!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Four channels of cheese ha haaa!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Hehehehe
That is a good one too! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:09, Reply)

it might not be a film...
but it wouldn't be christmas without the snowman or father christmas by raymond briggs on tv :)
(brightspark, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Ah see my chappy likes those,
I brought them for him on a DVD double disc thing, but I can't stand them. They used to freak me out as a kid and I've never gotten over it!! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:11, Reply)

They are a bit weird at first
but I've seen them both so many times that I've grown to love them!
(brightspark, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:13, Reply)

I like the books
but my mother and sister like the film and therefore it is officially 'ghey' in our house.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:15, Reply)

I've never read the books
and I think the only reason that I've seen the films is because my mum made me watch them when I was younger
(brightspark, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:18, Reply)

But have you seen When The Wind Blows????

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:16, Reply)

^ Truly disturbing

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Yeah!
I didn't realise that was done by him til I looked it up there! We got made to watch it in school for RE, but it was just so depressing...
(brightspark, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:21, Reply)

I love 80s nuclear paranoia
And what about when the rat comes up out of the toilet!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:23, Reply)

I have clearly missed out on this...
oddness
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:25, Reply)

Remember
Like Threads, you cannot unwatch it...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:29, Reply)

I felt that way about
No Country for Old Men
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Not seen
Should I not?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Not unless you like really well made films that have no ending
and go on F...o...r...e....v....e...r.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Oh god
Dead Man. That film was on for six months.
I fell asleep, woke up, it was on. I went to Paris, came back, it was still on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Wow
that is long!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 17:00, Reply)

To be honest
I don't really remember much about it, just that everyone was either freaked out or put to sleep by it!
(brightspark, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:27, Reply)

That's the thing
I clearly need to persevere, maybe this will be the year! Hehe
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:16, Reply)

People at work keep stealing my butter
So I carved "stop stealing me!" into it with a fork.

It didn't work, the next time I opened it, the note had been removed, along with more butter!!

Grrrr. I was bought two different books on passive aggressive notes for my birthday though so I've got lots of inspiration.

Maybe my friends were trying to tell me something.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:39, Reply)

If you're a note writer
get a copy of: I Lick My Cheese - its full of wonderful notes! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 17:01, Reply)

that was one of the books
I got for my birthday :D
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:16, Reply)

1. Slice top off butter
2. Hollow out inside
3. Fill with your own excreta
4. Put top back on and smooth edges to conceal join

Within a few days your problem will be solved. Also, the vomiting colleague will like as not be the guilty party.

But - very importantly -

5. REMEMBER YOU HAVE DONE THIS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 17:03, Reply)

Or you could get 'work butter'
We have a kitty to get butter and milk for the kitchen... no poop needed! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 17:04, Reply)

For a second
I thought you had an office cat that went to the shop for dairy products. Like a buttery St. Bernard.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 17:06, Reply)

That would be amazing!
I'm trying to convince my bosses the office needs a dog! Hmmmm... I might have to work on it a bit more!! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 17:14, Reply)

I prefer my idea
*shrugs*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 17:11, Reply)