Morning shitbags
people are decorating their little bits of the office for christmas. apparently there is some best decorated desk competition.

Fuck that shit. I enjoy christmas, don't mind the consumerism too much, but I object, at any time of the year, to buying pointless over-priced tat, and christmas decorations fall firmly within that category.

At home we have a tree, with some tasteful decorations, a couple of other bits, and a couple of strings of lights (which we use anyway, most of the year)

How is your place decorated? This being b3ta I imagine it's either a)not at all or b)the lights and shiny things are so loaded up as to be blasting a signal visible from halfway across the galaxy.

edit: also, I'm trying to find a multi way power supply adaptor thing. you know what I mean, 4 to 8 sockets, with a plug on a cable.

what the hell are they actually called? I can't find them when I search for any of the ideas I've had...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:09, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I relented and let the other half get a small tree

Last year we had some really nice paper baubles hung on our coconut tree, it was brilliant
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:13, Reply)

My entire house is painted matt black.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:17, Reply)

good

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Empty beer cans,
a Jack Daniel's bottle, some dirty ashtrays, unopened bank statements and a tray full of cat shit.

Meeeerry Christmas.....


EDIT and morning to you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:21, Reply)

^^ This
Except it's 4 or 5 wine bottles rather than Jack Daniels.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:16, Reply)

No decorations at work and no decorations at home.
And I believe in only sending Christmas cards to people who I don't see very often to remind them I'm thinking of them.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:22, Reply)

good stuff
christmas cards piss me off too. no fucking way I'm giving them to people at work, yet there will always be people who give one out to everyone.

if it wasn't for Mrs V, then no one would get one from my household
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:23, Reply)

I hate decorating my home
But I love all the pretty colours and the lights, and the little nativity scene, so I decorate it.

Not too much, but it helps me going through the winter darkness to have happy colours at home.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:25, Reply)

So who is behind your Nativity stable?
A Caganer or a Pixaner?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Re-use and re-cycle
Use colour papers from the old archfiles separators and cut them with nice shapes. Or pick black ones and draw little stars with tippex.

I'm crap at crafting, but I'm sure you can decorate without spending any money. And advertise it as a green alternative; I'm sure you'll have a better chance to win.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:23, Reply)

you'd think that
but it's judged by people who actually think christmas music is good.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:24, Reply)

I always forget that such creatures actually exist

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I had a Christmas-themed dinner party last night.
Just a way of celebrating with a few friends that I wont see 'til the new year. Anyways, throughout almost the entire affair, I had to put up with 'A Christmas Present from Phil Spector' - a CD containing all the shitty versions of Christmas tunes he's done. I think it was played 3 or 4 times and I swear I never want to hear 'Here Comes Santa Claus' EVER AGAIN.

Everyone else seemed to love it. (edited for relevance)
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Can you believe
that I think I'm one of those?

I found myself dancing in the middle of the supermarket on Saturday, when the band started playing Christmas Carols.

And I don't think I feel shame. I love Christmas.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:26, Reply)

carols are slightly different
still shit, but not as bad as some
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Oh well
I dance with "All I want for Christmas is you" Does that make me a bad person?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:29, Reply)

dancing to it, no
if you were to try and inflict it on everyone you work with for two weeks leading up to christmas, yes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Yes, I understand
I used to work as shop assistant during Christmas when I was a student. 1 month of Christmas songs was a way of torture I don't wish to anyone.

At least here you have proper Christmas songs. In Spain it's all traditional carols, sang by old women posing as kids, with very, very, very high-pitched voices. It drives you mad.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:37, Reply)

that sounds pretty nasty

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:45, Reply)

A month? You were lucky.
I used to work in a pub where Santa came to give out presents to the kids on AUGUST bank holiday weekend. AUGUST?! SERIOUSLY?! Apparently they were trying to get bookings for Christmas lunch.

I quit shortly afterwards.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:27, Reply)

I see Bob Dylan
has released an album of Xmas songs: great, two of my least favourite things combined...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:30, Reply)

I hope there is a duet with Bowie.
That would make my year.


Edit - I actually thought of you when I chose my calender for next year. Guess what I picked : )
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:31, Reply)

.
Bowie Miley Cyrus
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:32, Reply)

I didn't know
there was a TRACTOR calendar?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:41, Reply)

The leather faced CUNT
Let's hope it's his last Christmas and this time next year he's worm food.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:32, Reply)

how the fuck can you think calling bob dylan a cunt is acceptable.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Piece of piss. He's an awful cunt.
He's written a couple of decent songs that other people have made acceptable (thank you Jimi Hendrix and, at a push, The Byrds), but his own records are fucking rubbish.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:40, Reply)

fuck you cunt,
anyone who wrote Hurricane gets a free pass for life.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Wasn't that Scorpions?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I'm afraid you're wrong again
you see, your problem is you listen to far too much dreadful musical wanking psychadelia. Blood on the Tracks is a superb album and that's an internet FACT.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:46, Reply)

also The Travelling Wilburys are awesome.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Even the most well thought out and prescient lyrics
turn to shit when they are bleated out by someone who basically can't fucking sing.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:49, Reply)

and plays harmonica like a tramp with pleurisy...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I bet you rate X Factor finalists don't you?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:50, Reply)

That's why Blood on the Tracks is so good
the production makes it sound like he really can sing.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:51, Reply)

that must have been an epic piece of turd-polishing

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Right....
...The Dylan Xmas album is shite - that I readily admit but if you are suggesting that the Bob is a cunt then I am afraid I am forced to ask you to meet me on Hampstead Heath at dawn tomorrow.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:02, Reply)

It is precisely because I know a fair bit about psychedelia
that I feel qualified to state that 'take me on a trip upon your magic swirling ship' is the epitome of 'musical wanking psychadelia' (sic) of which you speak. 'Mr Tambourine Man' is so very, very gay, and along with Scott McKenzie's '(are you going to) San Francisco' succinctly summarises the shit end of the psychedelic/hippie era. Bent as a nine-bob note.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 15:16, Reply)

With consumate ease.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Whenever I hear that
God-awful incompetent asthmatic harmonica playing and shitty nasal voice it makes me want to hurt animals.

And the whole generation of smug bearded pseudo-beatnik American fucking students that, you know, Dylan really spoke for, can also fuck right off and take hook-nosed boredom-monger Joan cunting Baez with them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:46, Reply)

You are right about Baez.
Face like a Shitzu too
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Multi plug adaptor thingies
Are sometimes called 4-way strips, plug bars, multiplugs or whatever. I'm not sure there's an official name.

B&Q* sell them. Sometimes you'll get a deal where they do 2 for a fiver, but usually they're about £3-4 for a 4-way one, and £5-10 for a 6 or 8 way one. It's a bit more for a surge protected one.

*Other hardware stores are available.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Do you mean an extension cord?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:29, Reply)

cheers
extension lead is the golden search term I have discovered.

Need an 8 way one really, and it wouldn't hurt to have surge protection given all the stuff I'mm plugging in
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:29, Reply)

I think
Maplins good for that
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Here they are
nextday.diy.com/app/c/H101086/Cable+Reels+%26amp%3B+Extension+Leads/Extension+Leads
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:30, Reply)

thanks
looks like toolstation have the same ones (10gang tower with surge protection) and that is right near the other half's office :-)

cheers for the help though, I was drawing a complete blank.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:36, Reply)

I would decorate my home if I didn't live alone, I just don't see the point otherwise.
I spend Christmas day and boxing day at my parents and they have their decorations up.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:30, Reply)

But all these days
When it's so cold and dark outdoors, and you get inside your home and it's all pretty, and happy, with lights and everything.. It makes you feel happier, doesn't it?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:38, Reply)

I think BGB would feel happier
coming home to 10 inches of cock. Well, most nights anyway.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Haha!
I'd settle for 8 inches.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Not really.
Getting home and not finding any cat sick makes me happy.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Yes, we rate things different
You see, coming home and not finding ANY cat, makes me happy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Coming home and finding BGB would make me happy
then I would be curious as to how she got in, but still happy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Aw!
I feel all warm and mushy inside now.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Creampie?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Mince pie?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:43, Reply)

I have an 18" plastic tree from my landlady
and some lovely blue sparkly cord lights over my french doors, and a daughter sat in the corner wishing there was more tinsel.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:40, Reply)

tree dildo
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Too easy.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Like your mum

(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Office Decorations.
I have just printed off that 'Creationist Xmas Card' post from the challenge page, put it in a frame and draped some miseltoe over the side. Waiting on comments from the god-squad at work - bring it on fuckers.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Well, considering I'm such a cheesy tack-meister
I think my flat is decorated very tastefully.
A sparsely decorated garland with small white lights on the fireplace, and a tree decorated only in matt silver things.

I bet you all thought I'd have busty inflatable Mary Christmases and everything...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:44, Reply)

' busty inflatable Mary Christmases '
With three holes and real hair?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Yes! they're in my attic right now!
I mean... "How should I know, you pervert."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:02, Reply)