The bottle of wine
I got out of the cupboard didn't want to be drunk. The cork disintegrated as I tried to remove it and I had to decant it and then strain all the little corky bits out.

What domestic product has resisted your attentions recently.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:23, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Henry the hoover

he's all flirt and no go
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:26, Reply)

flash mould and mildew remover
I was cleaning my bathroom the other day, went to spray this stuff on the tiles. The normal amount came out of the nozzle, but 10 times as much poured out of the trigger bit and over my hand. Ended up wasting about half a bottle.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:26, Reply)

You didn't get it on your croissant did you?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:27, Reply)

At least you will have killed that dose of hand thrush

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Not really resisted
More a case of total spaktardery on my part. I opened a box of wine the other night but forgot to take the little bit of foil seal off the spout. The wine spurted everywhere; it was like a scene from Kill Bill.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Not sure it counts...
but I recently attempted to make a coffee sponge for my father. It was probably the biggest cooking disaster I have had in my 32 years. Damn thing wouldnt cook, when I showed the recipe to my mum she was shocked that it required 4 eggs.

That's the last time I trust a recipe I get off the internet from someone I dont know.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Did you remember to put it in the oven?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:32, Reply)

I would throw so many sprouts at you if I could

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:34, Reply)

i misunderstood that at first
I thought you meant a kind of bath sponge for coffee or something

new invention time
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Cake man
cake
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:35, Reply)

don't mind
if i do
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:37, Reply)

Great! Try my coffee sponge
*dials 9, then another 9, holds thumb on 9 button...*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I think I'll become
a cake raiding viking. BEWARE!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Take the coffee sponge
but please spare my christmas cake...TIS A WORK OF ART!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:51, Reply)

YARRRR!
(wait, this viking seems to be pirate influenced, I have no idea what vikings say...something about flat packed furniture?)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:54, Reply)

There's an attractive girl at work I had to work with today
she kept telling me she had a boyfriend. I wasn't even hitting on her.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Do you come across as creepy and/or desperate?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Almost exclusivley

(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:33, Reply)

That would explain it...
or maybe she is just really boring and has no life outside of her relationship
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Can I not in some way interpret it in the way that she is desperatly in love with me?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:38, Reply)

you can assume
she's reminding you she has a boyfriend to remind herself not to accidentally shag you, maybe
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:39, Reply)

yeah, that'll do.
I'm sorry women of the world, I'm just not interested at the moment.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:40, Reply)

I know the feeling.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:43, Reply)

I said "interested", not "interesting".

(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:46, Reply)

I meant
'I'm not interested in your posts'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:47, Reply)

hard to judge who has come out on top there
I'll have to call it a tie
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 17:06, Reply)

Were you bundling her into the boot of your car as she told you this?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:35, Reply)

No I was desiging a process to get around Nottingham being an akward little bastard.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Easily mistaken as a come-on
perhaps she was trying to get you interested in her in some roundabout reverse psychology kind of way?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:40, Reply)

ooorrr she could just be dull.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Attractive dull
or office frump dull?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:42, Reply)

She's attractive,
I'm not interested though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Yeah, play it cool
then ask her if your hanky smells of chloroform
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:45, Reply)

I've used everything I'm supposed to, cleaned the bathroom, living room, kitchen, my clothes and bedroom
but
damnit I don't want to take the recycling downstairs
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:33, Reply)

ym
/ac
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:35, Reply)

You'll be the first person she has ever resisted
you must have psychochomps way with women.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:45, Reply)

She said it was because she couldn't get you out of her mind.
I tried bribing her with a pie, but she said she couldn't eat as her heart had been broken by her own son. She then hid behind her webbed fingers, crying tears of sorrow and snuffling like an asthmatic pig.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Clickin dis.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:53, Reply)

What a weird coincidence
that's exactly the same noise your mum made as she climaxed up against the dry cleaners chemical tank.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:53, Reply)

She did say it's the only way she can achieve orgasm.
Especially when she's with you - the tangible sense of disappointment is only outweighed by inhaling noxious chemicals.

That, and it gets the creases out of her blouse.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 16:59, Reply)

How's your bulge?
Is it still non-dripping?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Thankfully, yes.
I do wonder where the fluid that was once leaking is now, though. I mean, you fiddled with the ballcock, not the shower...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 17:09, Reply)

Beef stew and dumplings
I accidentally used the "microwave from frozen" times instead of the "microwave from chilled".

A lot more of the water evaporated and it ended up beef in paste with biscuits. Still edible though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 17:09, Reply)