The thread below is TOO MASSIVE.
Today is my birthday.
I don't know what I want. Tell me what you think I need.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 11:59, 107 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A nice man in your life.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Like a gay best friend?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Yeah, but with a massive cock.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

What would be the point?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

He might occasionally drink himself straight

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

does that happen to you?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

If I ever sober up I'd be a right bummer.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

best maintain blaireau levels of drinking then

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

lets keep that between us though.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

you, me, the kids and entire internet

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Yippy !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Like this

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Yay

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Oh he sounds like a perfect catch

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

It's usually that round bit at the top with the little hole.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

And not gay...
^exactly :)
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Almost finished

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

All done !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

you need a meat injection ;-)
afternoon clenders. gotta love holiday. I'm still wearing dressing gown and slippers at midday :-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I'm in my jarmers!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

I'm wearing slippers at work
does that count... sort of!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

seeing as it's you ;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Aww
Thanks!

Did you have a nice Xmas?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)

yeah splendid thanks :-)
enjoying my time off greatly!

how about you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Jolly good!
I'm pleased to hear that you're having a good time off! :D

I'm alright thanks, been at work since Monday but hopefully I'll get to leave at 4.30 today! Whoopie!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Totally
because it's rebellious.
Oh, has DiT died of lurgy yet?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Cool!
DiT is still lurgied up... I think he might be a bit annoyed today too as he has to wait in all day for the Sky man as our Sky is broken... bless him.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:16, Reply)

But he loves it when the Sky man comes round
He puts on his sexy nightie!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Ahem
my sexy nightie!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

you're seriously going to try and get it back?
He'll scratch your eyes out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

I know
but its so prettyful

*cries*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

I'll get you another in Primarchee

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Awww thanks
You're a real pal
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:27, Reply)

I'n not sure about that...
14 of us went out for ribs last night and I now have meat vision.
Oh wait, that kind of meat injection?
Had one of those too :)
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

*high fives*
good girl ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

:)

( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Go'ead
Hope it was squeeze-tastic
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

I'm going to open a ribshack called "Adam's Spare One", and it'll be bible themed
It'll be a bit like Planet Hollywood.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Tea towels.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

I think I do, actually.
My flatmate is so obsessed with washing them that we keep running out.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
You neeeed aaaaaaa... new camera? Something you can play with?
Lego!!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Oh fuck yes - I'd love some bloody Lego!

( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

I might seriously request some for my birthday

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Now I'll have to wait another year :(
Oh wait...Birthday money!
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:09, Reply)

I got one of these for christmas
www.stuff4blokes.com/syma-608-rc-indoor-mosquito-helicopter-492-p.asp

it's awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:09, Reply)

That's ace but I want Lego more

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Lego is the mutt's nuts
It led to my mum finding out that I smoke pot though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Er what?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Oh you know that old story
Boy finds Lego, boy enjoys Lego, boy find pot, boy enjoys pot, boy hides pot in Lego castle, mother finds pot in Lego castle, mother beats boy... its a tale as old as time.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

not quite
my parents were on holiday, a mate came round. we got monstrously stoned and made lego stuff for about 4 hours. I think I was 18 or 19.

After my parents returned my mum mentioned it to me, in the form of "your brother said that you and Ian got stoned and played with Lego"

Jaw drops open.

Me: "so, how do you feel about that?"
Mum: "Don't do it in the house, don't do it and drive and don't let your father find out"

Wise words.

My brother's excuse was that he didn't think it fair that she knew my brothers both smoke/smoked it and not me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:29, Reply)

I think my story is better
:)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:30, Reply)

More poetic

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:32, Reply)

Indeed
:)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Hhahaha
of course...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:29, Reply)

Ooooh
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Did you have a nice time last night?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

It was brilliant!
We all had such a laugh - and TONS of meat.
We missed you.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Awww
I'm glad you had a wicked time! We will deffo be around next time! Deffo, deffo, deffo!!

Al was telling me about ribs - I think he sent a picture to DiT too! Haha
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

His and Mrs Al's ribs were truly humongous.
Mrs Al was quite embarrased, but I was envious.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Hehehe
I would have also been envious! Ribs are goooooood!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

A pair of Steel-Heeled Stiletto boots.
With silk ribbons to tie them on with.

And a well sexy outfit to wear with them.

And POIDH.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Hello Porky!
Feeling lively today, are we?
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

It's almost New Year and your birthday.
So I thought I'd make the effort. But who wouldn't want something like that. I know I would. It would top of my French maid's outfit spiffingly. And i got lego - two bionicles and a manga robot. I'll put the stickers on and do some pictures.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Happy birthday.
You need a puppy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

*cries*
I know. I think I should have moved in with you instead.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Did I mention the subway opening up across the road in easy walking yet not smelling distance?
Just sayin', like, you know, got a spare room and stuff, you know, just sayin'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Aw Gonz there was a lovely pup in that St Trinian's film yesterday
He was beige but not a pug.
I thought of you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:16, Reply)

Awesome, Lovely R is coming up in a few hours, I think we're going to watch some films with dogs in.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Oh, touch her from me!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Will do !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Many happy returns.
You need Tractor's self-titled 1st LP.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Do I indeed?
*investigates*
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Tractors are shit
Sitting round in mud more often than they're actually being useful.
And how on earth are they gonna make an album?
They wouldn't fit into a studio.
*punches in face*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:16, Reply)

You're not as good at ranting as I am.
Your heart's not in it. You're too nice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

*kicks in the nuts*
How d'ya like that then!! Bawbag!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Ooof!
*speaks in a high voice*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Not so lovely now am I???
*goes to St. Philip Neri Church to light a candle in the St. Gerard Majella chapel to atone for violence*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Haaaappy burfday, Miss'es Clenderix.
Haaaaaaappy Birth day, Misses Clinderex.
Haaaaaaappy Birth daaaaay, misses clenderix
Happy birthday, too you.

* Stands over windy grate in white dress *
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

I'd prefer to see you pop out of a MASSIVE CAKE
but I must say your legs look good in that dress.
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

I don't see why both can't be arranged !
TO THE ACE OF CAKES PEOPLE !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Oh man, there's butter-cream everywhere !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Happy Birthday Clenders!
Nice to hear about the meat injection :)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Hello Beekers!
:)
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:38, Reply)

*flex* *waves*
Har, haven't done that for ages.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:39, Reply)

Turning to the internet
Clendrix needs:
nothing 6
locking up 10
a man 691
lego 9
food, badly 51

Seems clear.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

a cock 416
a massive cock 60
a pork injection 3
sex 4
companionship 5
love 798

Awwwwwww, that's so sweet, the internet isn't being smutty!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Gonzo!
How come you can delete other people's posts???
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:31, Reply)

I can read your Gaz's too, you saucy minx.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:34, Reply)

They're full of filth
about hot spanish sausage. And meat stuffed peppers.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:35, Reply)

I had all that yesterday at Tapas Tapas
and I didn't have to wear my tabard.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:38, Reply)

I've never done filthy gazzes
The filth comes after the gaz that says "So, Roots, you got yourself one of them there MSN accounts..?"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:37, Reply)

*Copy'n'Paste the script to Fresh Prince, copy'n'replacing "Will" with "Gonz" and "Jacky" with "Neddy" *
/ac

Neddy - ro0o0o0o0otah
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Gonz, you've done nothing but confuzzle me today son.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:51, Reply)

What!?
Where!?

When!?

I'm watching Flubber, it's not as bad as it might appear.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:34, Reply)

He keeps deleting my posts when I try to mess up his chevron!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:36, Reply)

he deletes the one above his that you're replying to then replaces it.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:39, Reply)

=(((((((((((

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:40, Reply)

I feel very silly
But thank you.
I thought he was a sorcerer.
Or a mod.
Do you have all he answers?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Yes, but most people don't like them.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Can we have a "Ask Chompy" thread, with brutaly honest awnsers?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:43, Reply)

This is usually a decent diversion. Yes.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:46, Reply)

I TOLD YOU TO NEVER CALL ME THAT !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Happy birthday Clendrix.
Glad to hear your getting some.
( girlinthehole, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Is she really getting some
or is it just an internet lie?

HAappy Birthday to Clendrix
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:13, Reply)

It is my birthday and I am getting some.
I am very pleased about these things :)
( thealternativefact, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

We are very nearly birthday brothers
unless you are a girl
mine was yesterday
i like breasts
( broadsword, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 14:54, Reply)