I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it, I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
Oh yeah!

I came into work today to find a big box on the reception desk full of crisps and they're all for MEEEEE!

I sent an email to Tyrrells around Xmas telling them I thought they were ace (I was having a very slow office day and was after free stuff) and they only went and sent me a box of free crisps! Mwahahaha

Has anything nice happened to you today to turn your frown upside down?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:20, 114 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A free box?
Just because you said they were good? I really need to write more letters.

I've not had to frown yet today, so can't really answer fully. I'm sure that'll be coming though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Yup
I did write a pretty amazing letter, they couldn't really not send me any crisps! :)

My brother got me doing it, he's always writing letters because he is skint all the time and he likes his freebies, so I decided to give it a whirl, I shall be writing more now! Hehe
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:28, Reply)

It's things like this
That make me wish I had actually written to Cadburys about my flake-wrapper-with-no-flake-in-it. Could have led to masses of chocolate.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Do tell...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I bought a multi-pack of Cadburys chocolate for a picnic
Though with no real intentions to share the delicious goodies with other grubby-handed thieves. I was happily munching my way through when I went to enjoy a flake, and discovered that the still-sealed packaging contained no flake! It made me go from :D to :( Never did get round to writing to them and complaining though.

Also, I once found a jam jar at work that was sealed with the sticky label, but contained absolutely nothing. I kept it as my prize.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I bought a mouthgag that reeked of turps
Totally unusable despite washing it in bicarb, burying it it in a bag of odour-eating cat litter, washing it in the washing machine repeatedly.
Did I send it back? No. I emailed asking them if anyone else had complained about this because I found it puzzling. The guy told me to send it back for a replacement but I really couldn't be arsed.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

a gag?
for kinky bondage?

or has some other meaning eluded me?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Kinky bondage
Although my current quest for a gumshield is totally wholesome and is to dampen the effects of my night-bruxism.
I just want to clear that up.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:51, Reply)

interesting....
*waggles eyebrows*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:56, Reply)

If you're waggling your eyebrows at the gumshield
then you're a freak isn't the world one big diverse ball of fun!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:01, Reply)

haha
it wasn't at the gumshield
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Turpentine fetish eh...
It's in the post.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:12, Reply)

sweet
*rubs hands together*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:12, Reply)

That poor girl...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:18, Reply)

ahahahaha
hahaha


ha
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

That is ACE!!!
I tell people all the time that emailing pays.
My heartfelt messages from Kavana, Geoff Smith and SlimFast are proof of this.

I've taken another day's leave and shall be braving the supermarket later. Oh, and my mumm loved her birthday presents so much yesterday that she did a little cry :)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Indeed I shall be repeating this process! :D
Oooooh good luck at the supermarket, our local one was practically empty last night, people are panic buying again! :S

Aww bless your mum, that's so sweet she cried. I thought only my mum did that sort of thing. I brought her Spaced series 1 & 2 box set for Christmas a few years ago and she was so happy she burst into tears and then made us all stop what we were doing and watch series 1!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Not only sweet, but in possession of decent taste in comedy!!!
Bless 'em.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Indeed
shes a special lady! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Tescos are running out of eggs nationally,
everyone's panic frying.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:34, Reply)

thud

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Hehehe
I like that! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Credit goes to glued eel yesterday.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Nope nothing,
I had an indian last night though. It was good.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Oh and someone flounced off /talk last night which was hilarious.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Wooo!
Flouncing!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Hehe
what were they flouncing about?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:29, Reply)

They didn't like his shit thread
www.b3ta.com/talk/6620245#post6620280
and mocked him for being unemployed.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:30, Reply)

then he decided in true flounce fashion to tell us that he was going in a new thread
www.b3ta.com/talk/6620382
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Hahaha
Awww bless
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I like the fact that by typing 180 messages over 4 years on /talk
he expected to be treated as some sort of wise old man of the internet.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Indeed
That's the thing, the amount of time you have been on B3ta doesn't really mean anything if you haven't actually posted.

I don't think I'd ever post on /talk though, I'd get burned alive!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I generally find that people just don't reply when i post on there
*cries a little*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Awwww
Don't worry *hands over tissues* we all reply to you here! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I've not braved there yet
I find most insults people throw at me don't bother me, so I doubt I'd 'bite' but I do think I'd be ignored or dismissed, so think it'd be pointless.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Same here, insults don't really bother me
I can give as good as I get... but I don't really see the point in dancing on over there for no real reason.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Stay here in the warm!
*huddles*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I shall
I shall! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:19, Reply)

mostly with insults
it's a surefire way to get on the popular board though ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

They may as well call it
the Vipros Page of Joy! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:00, Reply)

or
joy unnecessary horribleness!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:01, Reply)

You'll be fine,
don't start new threads
don't say LOL ROFL
don't use smilies until people know you
if anyone insults you tell them to fuck off and call them a shitcunt.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:45, Reply)

It's like prison
Beat someone up on your first day or become someone's bitch.
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Haha
I may use smilies but I would never NEVER say lol or rofl, because that's basically saying 'I am a dick'.

I have refused to go to a school reunion because people keep trying to add me on facebook saying 'lol we r havin a reunion lol, its bin 10 yrs lol, can u believe it lol, plz come lol lol looooool'.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Some people are basically retarded online
but can be nice people in real life, hold on I'll get you an example.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Someone I met who is actually really nice and pretty smart has this as their profile info
*deleted for data protection yeah*
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:56, Reply)

that is pretty retarded
is it a girl?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

yep,
I think it was written a good few years back too.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Do they live in
Milton Keynes too?
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

yes.
I'm actually going to delete the text now, because if you're any good at the internet you could probably find out who she is.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:03, Reply)

only on bebo
nothing came up for b3ta...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:09, Reply)

She's not a member, or at least I hope she isn't

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:20, Reply)

that'll be why then

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Bless
Nah see, I grew up with these people, they're retarded in real life too, they're just a bit older now and have about 1,000,000 kids each... I have no interest in meeting up with them... well except to laugh at one of the girls who made my life hell - she is now really fat! Hahahaha
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

That's what reunions are all about aren't they?
Like the guy I met who recently started his own buisiness got a company car blah blah.
After a bit of pushing I find out he's a fucking driving instructor.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:01, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Hahahaha that's fantastic
Thing is I'm sort of an unknown entity because I ran away from the town after college and people don’t usually do that there. Also I don’t have tons of children so I think they are all a little confused as to what it is I actually do with my time… I’d rather not go and keep the rumour-mill chugging along.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:04, Reply)

You are me
AICMFP
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Strapped for cash?
You're making a few claims for £5.
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Sssshhhh

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I pay generous rates for maid services
wait until you see the uniform before confirming interest though
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I'm in

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Giggity
Expect a cock in the gaz very shortly.
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Erm ok,
But it's not a real one.
EDIT, I thought YOU were expectin a cock from me...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I thought I was althegeordie
Okay, I'll be you too! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:05, Reply)

You're omnipresent

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I get many presents?
Where are my presents, where?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:11, Reply)

They're everywhere
but in order to receive them you have to email.
Email HARD.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:13, Reply)

*emails HARD*
Presents, presents, presents! Hehe
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:18, Reply)

excellent flouncing there
most excellent
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:38, Reply)

BUGGER OFF

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:39, Reply)

thanks ;-)
I've actually had a break through with what I was doing. Enough to give me confidence to phone the client and tell him stuff. Going to have to have a meeting in a week or so though. Pain in the bum!

enough of a breakthrough to have a quick b3ta and tea break
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Granted.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I have a quick bit of b3ta and a tea break whenever I send an email.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Quality
waaaaaambulancing
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

When I was back home for Christmas
I found my old guitar (my first one which I learned to play on), my old cassette tape 4-track, my old Dilbert mug which is now my office mug and my old Erasure necklace my sister bought me. None of this happened today but I'm still riding the waves of happiness.

Oooh, I suppose I am quite happy with my phone interview last night. Just you wait people, I will be moving to that London soon. Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha!
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Moving to that London
Blimey, maybe it'll be working by the time you get here! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I'm sure I'll manage to
screw things up long before then
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Yay!!
Erasure necklace? Classy!
I love havin people to visit in London.
I'm just deciding to take me overnight bag or my case on wheels. You'll have room in your new place right?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Unfortunately
there'll only be space on top of me. Hope that's not an issue for you.
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

You own an Erasure necklace
so I certainly don't think me being on top of you is going to cause ANYTHING, let alone issues.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Hahaha
It's the perfect cover for lulling ladies into a false sense of security before violating them in ways that give them issues for the rest of their days.
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:54, Reply)

You are Gok Wan
AICMFP
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I once emailed
innocent smoothies telling them they were ace and I got NOTHING NOTHING!!!!


NOOOOOOOOTTTTHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIING
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I emailed Chewits
pledging loyalty and enquiring about Fizzy Chewits. SOD ALL.
But sometimes it works...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:39, Reply)

SMITING TIME
yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaa
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:41, Reply)

:)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Awww
That sucks! :(

I emailed Wagamamas and got nothing, not even some 2-1 vouchers! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I emailed M&S
when they changed my Maple Syrup and Nuts cereal into something that tasted like ass. My email literally contained the sentence, "This is a new low for me. Writing a letter of complaint like some sad loser on Watchdog."

They sent me a £5 voucher.
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:46, Reply)

did you tell them that it tasted like ass?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

No
Do you think if I had they would have sent a £10 voucher?
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:55, Reply)

You should ask DiT about his Badger Beer letter
its the best letter I've ever seen and he got practically a crate of free beer! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:57, Reply)

nice
I definitely need to start writing letters.

I haven't had anything disappointing for some time though

other than Chompy's mum, naturally
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Awwww
poor Mrs Chompy! :(

If nothing disappointed has happened you could always lie. My bro sent an email to Haribo telling him he didn't get any fried eggs in his Starmix (which was a lie) and they sent him a massive box of fried eggs, the jammy bugger!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

nice
I'm going to give it some thought

perhaps I didn't get any caramel in my kitkat chunky caramel....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Hmmmmm
Perhaps you didn't get any wafer in your Kit-Kat either, perhaps it was just a solid chunk of chocolate, that has happened to someone I know before!

As a kid I once opened a packet of Walkers crisps to find nothing but a mushed up potato - that was just wrong!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I've had that happen
was pretty awesome

that potato thing is just weird though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Hehe
the potato thing was weird. As a child I was most confused, I thought that a heavier packet would contain more crisps, I was not expecting that result! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Did you make a confused face?
Or a disgusted face? I think I'd have made a mixture.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

It was more confused I seem to remember
then I think I probably shouted 'Muuuuuuuuum' and got destracted by something shiny!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Yes
Have a patient I've been talking to about IVF / assisted conception for the past two years. She came in today to tell me she'd done a home pregnancy test and it was positive and could I please book her in from her ante-natal appointment set?

She was so happy (as was I) as was I and she had a wee cry in my office.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

That's fucking ace
But I'm hoping my evil aunt does NOT have the same reversal of fortune.
She should not procreate.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:53, Reply)

"Should not procreate"
Is this due to her having some horrible genetic disease?
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Yeah it's called EEEEEEVIL
No seriously, she has no grip on reality and is always fighting and arguing and has no money and thinks she'll manage without nappies most of the time, and she works full time so expects my mother and grandmother will raise it for her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Interesting.
Have social services been in touch?
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:24, Reply)

As yet they've not had one
and they are wondering whether to go for IVF.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Ah.
Well, their GP should be able to discuss it with them.

Whilst having a full-time job isn't a reason to talk someone out of it there's a real need for your relative to be aware of the amount of work being taken on. Her GP, talking to both herself and the nominative father, should be able to help.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Aren't they horribly inaccurate though?
You need to do best of three with them I was told.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Home Pregnancy Tests?
When we were trying to have a child, we made sure that we had three different sticks from three different manufacturing batches (stamped on the box) to check.

The test works to detect human gonadotrophin in minute quantities and there are very few substances that will give a false positive for this.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 12:13, Reply)

As the wife mentioned it, this is the letter that got me a crate of Free Beer (the best kind, no?)
Dear David,

I hope you don't mind me writing to you, but it did say at the bottom of the menu in one of your pubs that I could, so here it is.

(Before I get started, please note that I'm not complaining, or being one of those rude and abrasive people who I'm sure must take great pleasure in pointing out to you just how they could run your business better. Just so we're on the same playing field, eh?)

Anyway, where was I? That's it, I was writing to you. In the past, I have regularly eaten some of your fine food and drank some of your fine beer at the Half Moon pub in Shaftesbury, Dorset. I won't bore you with the ins-and-outs of it all, but I'm a Londoner and my fiance lived in Shaftesbury at the time. Since, she has moved to London, and it's been a while since we've had a chance to go to the West Country.

When first I went to this pub, way back in 2006, there was a glorious beer on tap, by the name of Stinger. Never had I drunk a real ale that felt so alive in my mouth, that really made my tongue tingle (a result, I'm sure, of the nettles used - although I'm not entirely sure it isn't psychosomatic), that was so refreshing. I spent the next year waiting and, in 2007, my favourite beer was back. I supplemented myself in the intervening months with bottles of Fursty Ferret from Tesco, or the occasional Tanglefoot, but it was always Stinger I looked forward to.

So now we're up to date. This last weekend I travelled down to Dorset, booked a table at the Half Moon, and took the Fiance and the to-be-in-laws out for a meal (the last of the big spenders!). I ordered my steak and, with the excitement of a small boy who's seen the bike-shaped parcel on Christmas Day, ordered my pint of Stinger.

Imagine, if you can (and I hope I've pointed out how much I like this beer) my shock and disappointment when the landlady told me that Stinger isn't on tap this year. She did explain why, in terms of the cost of production, but I don't mind telling you, David (can I call you David?), that I was heartbroken. Sure, I can buy it in bottles online or in the brewery shop, but it's not the same is it?

Anyway, the whole point of this letter is (and I suppose I should come to it, you're a busy man after all), is there any chance of having Stinger back in your pubs next year? Or, horror of all horrors, is there any chance that you'll never make Stinger again?

I should wrap this up now, and I'm sure I come across as one of those insufferable bores you meet at parties who think they're incredibly witty and urbane, so I'll get on with it. I'd like to tell you that, of all of the Hall and Woodhouse pubs I have been in, I have never, ever had a bad time. The staff are always welcoming, the food is always top notch, the beer is always perfectly conditioned, and a great time is always had by all. I am already looking forward to my next trip to Dorset - hopefully just in time for Festive Pheasant or Pickled Partridge. May I suggest Toasted Turkey? Or perhaps Gobbledy-Goose?

I sincerely hope you can find some meaning in the above waffle, and hope that you can find the time to reply to me.

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

DiT
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Actually, reading that back, I come across as a bit of a twat.
They probably sent me beer to shut me up.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 12:56, Reply)

they still sent you beer though
twat you may be, but twat with free beer!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Nah,
it was alright, good actually. Just the right amount of fawning mixed with the correct doseage of disappointment supplemented by the perfect amount of arselicking.

Send it again, see what happens.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 13:09, Reply)

I've just found
Thirty quid in my coat pocket. I was a poor student in a foul, depressing mood. I am now in a good mood.

Pub, here I come. Sorry I've neglected you over the last eight days, I have my reasons. I will make it up to you over the next eight hours.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 16:21, Reply)