Where did you grow up?
Are there tales you are *certain* could only happen in your creepy hometown?

Tales of sheep-fiddling, corruption and inbreeding are most welcome.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:35, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I grew up in Gotham City.
There's this guy who dresses like a bat who keeps beating up my boyfriend.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:36, Reply)

there were widely held beliefs that those in a nearby village,
where the rich people lived, had wife-swapping parties and that the family who ran the mini-supermarket/butchers were devil worshippers in the nearby woods.

Whether this is true or not, they made the best damn sausages I've ever had. If they sold their souls for the recipe then it was well worth it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:46, Reply)

Thurso.
Way, way, way, way, way, way, way, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay north of the British mainland. Assuming a triple jump with the hop being Orkney, the skip being Shetland the next stop would be polar-bear central.

Cold, insular, lots of inbreeding.

Thank goodness I'm out of there.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:51, Reply)

Did they all have...
...three thumbs and a penchant for farmyard animals?
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:55, Reply)

I ...
... have no idea what you mean.

Other than the sound a sheep bleating turns me on something terrible!
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:04, Reply)

Baaaaaa

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:13, Reply)

And I ...
... OMG. Ah. Mm.

Lovely.

Pass the Kleenex please, dear?
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:16, Reply)

Isn't that what the wooly sheep are for?

(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:18, Reply)

Y'know...
... wellies exist to put their back legs in ...
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:20, Reply)

Trufax?
I learn something new every day.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:21, Reply)

but as a kid you must of had total freedom to go wherever right?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:11, Reply)

good surf at Thurso

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 22:20, Reply)

...
4% of my graduating class were convicted cow-fiddlers.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 18:55, Reply)

depths of the West Midlands
When we were about 19/20, myself and mates used to drive around the country looking for secluded places to skin up, listen to music and shoot the shit.

One night I didn't go along, but others came back with the strangest tale, swearing it was true. They still do to this day. Knowing them, if it was bullshit I'd have been presented with my "gullible person" award by now, and it wasn't like they were trying to wind me up anyway.

Apparently they pulled into a layby that ran a little way into some woods. Some woods where someone had hanged themselves years before (it was a favorite spot, partly for that reason). They relax and roll up a few doobies. Then the driver switches on the lights reeady to go home. A group of men in white robes and pointy hats are emerging from the shadows. One is walking towards them making hand gestures. They all see this, prompting a major panic attack swiftly followed by reversing the car as fast as it would go, sliding through the mud, skidding round and flooring it away.

Tell this tale to certain locals in certain country pubs round here and they always seem to know something. S'gotta be masons I reckon.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:09, Reply)

Are you sure...
...they aren't, you know, the KKK?

I'm sure the racists are only confined to the comment boards of The Sun and the Telegraph, and wouldn't dare venture into the woods for fear of making their wives' finest guest sheets dirty.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:17, Reply)

apparently they did resemble the kkk
I don't remember the whole story but think there were some accessories involved like big gleaming jewellery and bits of tree being weilded that made them look more like druids or some shit.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:32, Reply)

Was this
in Cannock?
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:29, Reply)

nah, other side of Birmingham

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:31, Reply)

Oh right.
Some weird folk in Cannock. This is partly due to the fact that there is fuck all to do for miles around. Gotta pass the time somehow, so you might as well be KKK.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:41, Reply)

Jim Harrison has a busy schedule as a middle manager in a small estate agents
But on Wednesdays from 7-9pm he's in the KKK. The big problem is finding any black people to lynch in Droitwich.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:45, Reply)

Is this true? Or a reference I missed?
I don't know Jim Harrison but I could believe the story.
And you're right about the lack of minorities. It did cross my mind earlier but I posted anyway.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:49, Reply)

haha, just talking bollocks
I did write "Cannock" not "Droitwich", but decided that was shockingly presumptuous.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:50, Reply)

It was.
But you were spot on.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:53, Reply)

Not where I grew up, but where I live now.
The place suffers from Small Town Syndrome, everyone knows everyone else. A few years ago there was a sudden leap in cases of HIV/AIDS (I always forget which comes first). Because everyone knows everyone's business, the whole town instantly knew who was to blame. It was obviously her, she's shagged everyone, spring-loaded legs, blah blah blah.

Turns out they were wrong. It was someone who'd come on holiday and slept with dozens of people over the course of a month.

Life's a bitch, eh?
KIDS! USE PROTECTION!
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:39, Reply)

That poor bloody woman!
I hope she got her own back by giving them all ebola or sommat.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 21:07, Reply)

Um. No.
She died about six months later of an alcohol-related illness. And this being a Small Town, everyone instantly stood up to say how upset they were, and how lovely a person she was.

I never pretended to be her best mate, but we always said hello and nodded in the street. She was a lovely girl and I never said a bad word about her.

That's the worst thing about Small Towns with Small Town Syndrome. They're often full of selfish arsemongers.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 2:48, Reply)

Droitwich
At the end of the nineties we had the biggest concentration of heroin addicts in the UK (reference: some guardian article that is online somewhere and local rumour, don't quote me..). their offspring are starting to appear in the local pubs. it's lovely round here.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:41, Reply)

Greenock?

(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 21:05, Reply)

HA
Try Port Glesga mate. Fucking hell hole.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Kinda related to the two replies above:
The borough of Lewisham (where I live) has the highest rate of babies born with HIV in western Europe.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:51, Reply)

we've got a family that are 'inbred'
dented foreheads, crooked teeth, missing collar bone, stunted growth...
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:51, Reply)

squeel like a pig boy!

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:12, Reply)

deliverance, right?
never seen it...heard it involves bumrape though
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:33, Reply)

I'm from Skelmersdale
We produce drug dealers.

That's about it really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:54, Reply)

Cockfosters.
It's so ghetto, once a granny almost tripped on a paving stone and a concerned citizan said "Oh blimey, are you all right dear?" and she said "My goodness, I've had quite the fright. I'm fine though, thank you."
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:57, Reply)

I can't use the Picadilly Line
without chuckling to myself at every stop as the recording announces the name of the terminus.

Childish I know.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:01, Reply)

I lived there.
The cafe by the station is full of men named 'Tony' who were more than willing to 'get' me a 'luxury car' for £3000.

No, thanks, I'll just have coffee and chat. Mainly, I'll do that elsewhere.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Suburban Hertfordshire
what stands out a car full of white kids peeling away from a country house in a new fiesta singing 'straight out of Compton' for all their worth.

twunts.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:10, Reply)

Liverpool
Not Bootle, not Walton, not Croxteth, not the Wirral.
But right in the centre of Liverpool.
I loved it. I was near all the architecture and the theatres and the waterfront and the shops. When I was 16 and started going drinking I never had to get a taxi home (I just had to avoid the scallies.)
Even when I went to uni I chose city centre halls.
I live nearish to Toxteth now but it's still in the city centre.
I need the noise and the life, but it's not as big as London, so you know lots of people who you see.

I like visiting the countryside but little cities are where it's at for me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:24, Reply)

I noticed this when I visited Liverpool.
Despite being arguably quite big and important in UK city terms, the city centre was kinda small and distictly lacked the feeling of anonymity you get in a place like central London; a few times I saw people randomly bump into each other in the street and have a friendly chat.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:40, Reply)

Liverpool's a lil puddle
But a busy one, so you get the vibrant atmosphere of a city and the fucking annoying incestuousness of a village.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 20:45, Reply)

That's what I was trying to say.
I've never been good at being concise.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 21:00, Reply)

I grew up in Loughborough. Where we had the fake paramedic.
'Paramedic impersonator' denies charge
A man accused of indecently assaulting a girl by posing as a paramedic has denied he was on a "power trip".

Gary Brooks, 30, from Loughborough, is charged with assaulting a 19-year-old girl she lay almost unconscious outside a bar.

He approached the stricken teenager, who had become violently ill at the Barracuda bar in Loughborough, Leicestershire, on 14 March.

But he denies any attack took place - insisting at Leicester Crown Court that he was qualified to help and was simply trying to assist the teenager.

Mr Brooks told a jury he was schooled in first aid and qualified as a "basic emergency medical technician" through an organisation called Paramedics UK.

But he said he had been prevented from becoming a fully qualified paramedic due to his dyslexia and is unable to read or write.

He said on the night of the incident he wore a reversible fluorescent jacket emblazoned with the words "emergency medical technician" (which were mis-spelled).

But he insisted he had nothing else to wear and that he went over to his alleged victim only because he considered it his duty as a first-aider to help.

When Avik Mukherjee, prosecuting, suggested he had been on a "power trip", Mr Brooks said: "I didn't impersonate a paramedic. I was trying to do my best."

Mr Brooks denies indecent assault as a result of the incident.

The trial continues.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 2:30, Reply)

Where I grew up and currently live
We have a currently ongoing trial concerning a prominent doctor getting 10-17 yo boys to masturbate in front of and with him as part of a 'medical trial' (he took their blood before & after and paid them cash) and getting one of the boys addicted to medical grade morphine that he stole from the surgery.

Obviously he's had his license torn up now.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 21:18, Reply)

Miss Kitty
I found myself questioning why a person such as yourself would remember such a story. Whats wrong with masterbating, infact whats wrong with unassisted masterbation in return for money and morphine.... where they hell do I sign up?
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:04, Reply)