Hey there Fatties.
New week, new lies.
Who's up first?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:05, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I find you amusing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:06, Reply)

(!)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Ha

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I punched a dog until it sicked a rainbow.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:07, Reply)

That was a lie.
I was really kicking it.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:07, Reply)

*Cricket Applause*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:08, Reply)

kicking dry fisting
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:08, Reply)

thing is though, it's more shocking to punch a dog.
To kick a dog is easy, even if you lift it off the ground with your kick, because the dog is already at foot-level.

If you punched the dog, like in the face, you have to bend down a bit to do that, so it require more effort, and as thus, is more shocking.

Always punch a dog rather than kick one, and they'll pay up in no-time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I heard that JMG drives me.

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Whoa there now!
Not an Accord.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:09, Reply)

I beat up a dinosaur.
And the dinosaur HAD A GUN.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Extra p-p-p-p-pander points if you did it in bra and panties.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Pah!
I'm far too classy for bra and panties. I did it in a corset and stockings.

I always remember my PE kit.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:19, Reply)

A GUN?
SAY IT AIN'T SO!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:19, Reply)

A machine gun.
A LASER machine gun.
No word of a lie.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:20, Reply)

LASERS?
Holy shit. Did the dinosaur shoot lasers from its eyes too? I've heard they do that
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Girly dinosaurs perhaps.
But not RAPTORDACTYLSAURUS REX.

He breathes flaming shit with napalm in it.

Just as well I was able to hold his mouth shut with my teeth as I kicked him in his massive reinforced dino-scrotum.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:25, Reply)

WOW!
*sings My Hero by the Foo Fighters*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I think I'll take my croissant and white wine on the terrace now.
Be a dear and bring me a newspaper, would you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Will do
Also... 'croissant' are you Vipros in disguise?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:39, Reply)

No.
His beard is fantastic, but I think he's to be found wanting when held in the balance of beating up dinosaurs. I have triumphantly claimed his daily croissant in my moment of extreme palaeontologically pugilistic smug.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Ah I understand now
You are the new bearer of the smugness chalice - Well done!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Splendid!
A chalice from which to drink my white wine. *smugs further*
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I’ve been informed
that you are knowledgeable but also smell like a rather whiffy gorgonzola. What say you to these claims?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Honkies just trying to hold a brother back.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Of course
That's the only explanation.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Rince me up, Use me up, cuss me down, fuck me up.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I heard that you think 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by Toploader
is the best song ever by anyone. Ever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:31, Reply)

He's trying to embrace popular culture
lets support Monty in this new and dangerous endeavour.

Yes, I think Lady Gaga is the shot in the arm that the pop charts have been waiting for. Great voice, catchy songs and a lot of talent.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Pssst.
No-one's buying it, mate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Damn
I thought we might have had a few takers.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Oh, there are more than a few 'takers' on here....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 16:47, Reply)

I was there...
'I heard you have a compilation of every good song ever done by anybody.'
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I heard that you are from Sunderland

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Maccam-tastic

(TheColonel, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:34, Reply)

:( etc.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I heard Keegan is returning to NUFC.
...and this time he is angry.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Apparently someone stole his 'Jamie Oliver songs' CD
and he wants the fucker back. Something to do with it having the best song ever by anyone, ever, on it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:56, Reply)

What - Toploader?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 16:22, Reply)

That's the one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 16:47, Reply)

KEEGAN SMASH

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 16:13, Reply)