At last, common sense prevails
www.fly.co.uk/news/obese-passengers-to-be-charged-almost-double-1982222.html

If you are so fucking fat that you need two seats....you need to pay for two seats. Disappointed that they haven't quite got the bottle to defend this move properly and have hidden behind 'safety reasons', though.

I'm happy to compose a more honest press release for them if they want one.

'Ahem. For too long, customers with A FUCKING GRIP ON THEMSELVES have been forced to squash themselves in alongside sweaty, piss-smelling Jabbas on buses, trains and aeroplanes, without complaint. Well no more.' etc
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:32, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes
This makes me happy. Partly because it shows a company actually doing something sensible for once.

edit: Also, if they're going to get refunded if it's not a full flight, then I think I should get my ticket refunded if it's not a full flight. Seems fair, no?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:34, Reply)

I would like to see this taken further
such that baggage allowance is given on some sort of a passenger+luggage combined weight. If someone weighs 30kg more than I do, but still fits into a single seat, how come they're allowed the same baggage allowance as I am?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:39, Reply)

I think we should melt them down and make candles.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:43, Reply)

That would only work on Loganair flights
to Wick.

*runs*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Argh keep this fine metropolis out of it!
Saying that Wick airport is a breath of fresh air - no queuing because there are no fucking people.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:46, Reply)

I agree with this
when we were coming back from honey moon we had to pay extra for being a little bit over and the morbidly obese elephant in front of us was stuffing the heavier stuff in to her hand luggage rather than pay the fine. She should have been charged extra for each ass cheek the fat pachyderm.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:31, Reply)

JMG will be gutted..

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:43, Reply)

They should have special containers in the hold to put them in.
Then they wouldn't have the seat problem.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:47, Reply)

A seat is a seat.
Two seats is two seats.

Hurrah!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:05, Reply)

We should simply strap them all together
and float them to their destinations, like cedar logs on the Yukon
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:07, Reply)

You will be awarded extra points for being amusing AND poetic.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Many thanks, I'll stick them on my fridge
under the picture of a house I drew
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Ann Widdecombe?
DAMN YOU NINJA!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Yeah i have this issue where I press enter and the unfinished post materialises
so i'm used to popping back in to amend. But why Ann Widicombe?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Because it said
'under an'
So I put 'n Widdecombe?'
and it was hilaaaaarious... Yeah, it was right.

I do that enter thing too. It's ok. Really. It's fine.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Nice idea
but it's only KLM
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:17, Reply)

It's a start though, eh?
That God-awful wanker at Ryanair is sure to follow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I hope so
but the first fattie who sues for the mental trauma of being picked out in a crowded airport and told that he's too fat for a single seat will ruin it.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:25, Reply)

We'll have to rig his court appearance
So that when he walks into the room to testify, everyone will laugh and point at how fat he is.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Watchit Monty Old Boy
You are talking about the man I love...........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 13:39, Reply)

When I come into power
Obese people will be put down. There is no need for them. They're horrible to look at and they take up room on the tube.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:21, Reply)

You're a bit screwed then

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Arse like a slapped face.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Correction - Obese national icons like myself are exempt from being put down.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Fatties should also be banned from supermarkets.
ESPECIALLY when they have fat kids. Aisles are a nightmare when they come trundling down, like a sodding steamroller.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jan 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I feel the need to reiterate my comments from the last time this issue was raised
...regarding the fat bugger caught trying to squeeze into one seat in a photo published in the Telegraph:

"In the Western world, where food is plentiful and basic comforts such as shelter, warmth and medicine are easily afforded, we do face a population of increasingly large individuals. This is partly genetic, as people seek taller partners and go on to pop out offspring who will have a genetic predisposition to grow tall themselves, and partly down to the richer diet that is much easier to obtain than it was, say 200 years ago. Like many on this thread, I happen to be about 6'2", and have simply had to get used to the fact that public transport was not designed for legs like mine. Nor, indeed, were many older buses designed to accommodate my neck. But as Chompy says, if it's just 10cm in 2000 years, we'll probably manage.

And before I do start suggesting that we should adjust transport to fit our larger frames, I would be inclined to cite this as a counterexample: what a fat cunt. Seriously, how in the name of jolly-rogering, hairy-ball-bouncing fuck do you expect to fit into a standard aircraft seat like that? Most of us have to pay a surcharge if we have the temerity to put that little bit too much weight in our hand luggage so why the fuck didn't they make him pay a surcharge on his hideously overgrown arse?

I appreciate that everyone's metabolism differs, and that some of us find it easier to lose weight than others; I for one am concerned about the beer belly that's catching up with me after many years of far too much ale. But there's a limit. There's a line that has to be drawn between the challenges of working with your metabolism and natural figure, and just not being able to put the fucking pies down. I'm amazed this gastropod was even able to book his ticket with fingers that must have resembled soggy, wobbling Cornish pasties. Was he able to find his passport in his back pocket or did they have to send a mountaineering expedition round his waist outside passport control? Holy mother of cock, I'm surprised the plane wasn't sagging in the middle where he'd sat down. And he probably smelt funny as well. It's the person sat next to him I feel sorry for.

*mashes face on keyboard*"

As for this one, I'm very impressed with Air France. I wonder if this Monique Matze woman is hot.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:23, Reply)

This post has aged superbly, like a robust cheddar.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Like a robust cheddar,
which, if gets a bit damp, will probably smell like the rubbery folds on that foul specimen
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

reminds me of the time...
many years ago, on a trip to Alton Towers, some poor fat fuck having queued for about 3 days to ride Nemesis (the hanging / suspended rollercoaster) having to get straight back off the other side being unable to do up the safety belt.Walk of shame............

It wasn't me howling with laughter. Nor was it the ride attendants. I reckon those 200 people in the queue behind me had a bit of a chuckle though........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Some people have to take prescription drugs that make them hideously fat
Like my mate Paul. He was rake-thin until they started him on the drugs, but now he's one of those people you really don't want to be stuck next to on the plane.

However he's deeply embarrassed by his weight, and doesn't need the additional indignity of being charged twice for something he can't help. For him, it's fatness vs extreme illness.

This is an extreme example, but people here are talking like people choose to be fat. No-one does. Metabolism does come into it, so do a variety of health conditions and associated treatments. It's not just a case of having less self-will than others. If you're hungry, you eat. That's the same for everyone; unfortunately some people get hungrier than others, some put on weight easier, some find it much more difficult to exercise and some earn a living in a job where they are required to sit down 8 hours a day.

One of my pet hates: internet users anonymously taunting fat people. It's a step above writing "lolgay" below a youtube video.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 12:21, Reply)

yes but
I'm not exactly sylphlike myself - there but for the grace of god and all that stuff - we are not on here to be nice after all........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 18:28, Reply)

Really?
I'm a bird and I don't demand that someone else pays for my fucking tampons. It's part of being a girl. I didn't choose to be a girl, your mate didnt choose to be fat. But there are consequences for each situation. MTFU and deal with it.
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 5:06, Reply)