Well it's quiet on here again. Are we all stuck for something to say?
Let's make fun of /talk.


I hear they all smell of meat pies and share the same grandmother.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:42, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm never stuck for something to say
It's just never very interesting
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Likewise, I'm afraid I'm naturally quite a boring person.
Particularly at the moment. The highlight of my day so far was treating myself to a bacon sandwich for breakfast.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

A bacon sandwich
is always exciting.
(Concrete Cow, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Yeah,
And now I'm having a CUP OF COFFEE. Take that, world.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Well what do you have to say about our less humorous B3ta bretheran?

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I never go there.
I dunno why really.
I don't know em. But I didn't know you lot a year ago.
I still don't. I still think you're all a man with an axe.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I'm not a man with an axe
I'm a man with 3 axes
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

shitttttt

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:25, Reply)

It's ok, one is quite small
more of a hatchet really
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Oh well then
*address and bank details*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I have something rude to say about I-phones

i have had one for a week now, and I do love it.

But it is so fundamentally flawed in one small area, if you turn the phone off at night the alarm won't work. This is so utterly retarded I don't even know where to begin...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Seriously? That is mongoloid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I keep umming and ahhing about getting an iphone
I like the gadgets but I fuckign hate itunes with a firey passion. Also the camera is wank compared to the one on my samsung
*makes that weird scales motion with her hands*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:47, Reply)

hands jubblies
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I'll make it with
your jubblies if you're not careful
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

*not careful*
Ha!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Yeah I hate I-tunes
Why doi songs play in I-tunes, but not on my i-pod, answer me that jobs you cancerous cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I heard
they're all 'gay' and 'coloured'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

that's just going to provoke some really dull stuff

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Like your reply?

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

You're really spoiling for a scrap this morning aintcha!
Feisty!
Osgoode likes 'em feisty.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:47, Reply)

are you trying to turn into chompy? ;-)
there have generally been some good converstaions recently, and good banter, and relations with /talk haven't been bad, but saying things like you did just end up with the same fucking dull posts time and again.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I don't hate /talk, I just don't get IT.
It was just a starting point for a thread because let's face it, we usually go off on a tangent anyway.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I know we usually go off on a tangent
but referencing them in such a way is just being provocative and will end up in a vicious circle of stupid argument

I have nothing against stupid arguments, but it's more enjoyable if they go somewhere.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Me? provocative?
Surely not.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Would you advise a trip there?
A mini-break perhaps?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Go ahead.
Remember to take plenty of wet wipes though.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Ew!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

This,
there's much more crossover than there was it's just bgb who believes that there's a massive divide.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I was starting a thread and not an arguement.
After all, my name calling was hardly vitriolic.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I wasn't saying that you were starting an argument
I was saying that you're wrong if you think that there's any massive difference between talk and offtopic apart from the format.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I don't think there is a massive difference.
I just like a bit of a verbal scrap now and then.

But you have to admit, there are a couple of right knob-heads on there.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:55, Reply)

there are on here too
and a verbal scrap is fine, but not the repetitive shit that it ends up being.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Are there?
Who?

Nill points if you say me.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Monty is definitely a massive knob head
basically, all those cunts who live in London.

and Cancer Joy

and NakedApe

anyone scottish.

too many others to list
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:04, Reply)

And Vipros
You missed Vipros off the list.
(PenguinsOfDeath doesn't much like this, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

yeah, that smug twat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Scottish people own /offtopic
Fact of the day.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I'm a cunt and proud of it
and Scottish.

Does that make me a double cunt or would it be a 'fucking cunt'?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:19, Reply)

fucking cunt

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I thought so.
It is a term I am familiar with and really rather fond of.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:25, Reply)

That depends how you meant "share"
Are you accusing them of gang-raping pensioners?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:56, Reply)

this is correct
it's been good having some different people on here now and again, but not when it is a /talk vs /OT subject
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:51, Reply)

So it's ok for them to make fun of OT but we can't do the same back?

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:56, Reply)

that's not what I'm saying
but if they make fun of OT on /talk we don't tend to go over there and innundate them with stuff.

most of the regular /talkers are actual pretty funny and smart when engaged in normal conversation or banter, but not when they are over here deriding us.

There's nothing wrong with us making fun or arguing back, but it's a shit load better when neither of us are doing it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

So your saying two wrongs don't make a right?

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:00, Reply)

*places finger on nose*
more accurately though, I'm saying that I don't care if there are arguments, but that I don't want to read them. "Then don't read them" I hear you cry!

but that is not the full story. it ties up people who would otherwise be (possibly) having an interesting conversation.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Interesting conversation?
Hahahahahaha!
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:04, Reply)

eye of the beholder

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Don't you mean eye of the tiger?

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:06, Reply)

eye of the Jap

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I will kill you both

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Are you beyond Survivor cool?
Are you Frank Stallone cool?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I'm going to say yes
yes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:14, Reply)

You fucking rule
www.youtube.com/watch?v=neNtMX-v2eY
Ignore the Travolta bits. You're Frank. Repeat it like a mantra. I listen to this when I need to kick 'ass'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I agree too.
I found that Sir Sand Goblin fellow to be a most pleasant chap.

I have to say though, the old 'Hello fatties JMG here, I'm the best on the internet' schtick has become somewhat worn out, in my humble opinion.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

indeed
Donkey gums too, is particularly hilarious. I don't understand most of what he says, but it still amuses the hell out of me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:00, Reply)

He is rather psychedelic isn't he?
I always enjoy his posts. They are hilarious and seem entirely without malice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:03, Reply)

^This

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I have enjoyed it when he has passed this way

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I've heard they'll soon have to pay for a second airline seat

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I don't think it applies to them.
They don't get out much.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:46, Reply)

True
The idea of them travelling to a FORRIN country where they TALK FORRIN would be far too daunting. Most of them have enough trouble with their own mother tongue.

Or possibly their own mother's tongue.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

My viewpoint of /tallk whenever I've tried to read it

is that it is so based on memes and is so imnward looking that one day it will actually implode in on itself in some kind of shitty blackhole.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

You mean
in time, /talk will become goatse?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:49, Reply)

ZIYou always have to have the last word, don't you?NCOMBO BREAKERG

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I think I once passed through Ncombo Breakerg.
Isn't it near Dar-es-Salaam?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Bonjour
How are you all?

I'm all bunged up and not in a sexy way.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:16, Reply)

we can soon remedy that!
morning
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Aww thanks
Always here to help hey! :D

Alright, how's it going? How’s the oven of dreams?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:20, Reply)

in case it wasn't clear
I meant remedy it not being sexy

good thanks. got to go to the dentist in a couple of minutes.

cooker is good. last night's dinner was fucking ace.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I thought you were offering to 'un-bung' her.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Its B3ta
No-one ever offers to un-bung... how are you my lovely?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I got that, subtle as your response was! :D
*awaits a cock in the ear*

Oooh the dentist -that's scary, just a check-up for are they doing scary things involving this noise 'BBBBRRBRRRRRRUUUUUUZZZZZZHHHHHHHH'?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I like that noise

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Its a scary noise
I fear it. *shudders*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I wish me and my dentist hadn't fallen out
I used to love going to the dentist. I need to turn this around. Maybe ask for another dentist next time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Why did you fall out?
Did you bite him?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

He just doesn't like me
Well, on the survey I completed when I first attended, there was a question where you had to rate the fear and anxiety you experience when visiting the dentist from 0-10. I answered '0'.
He didn't like this. I think they like us to be scared.
And then he tried to diddle me out of my scale and polish, which was included in my joining fee, and we had a bit of a heated conversation about it.
We just got off totally on the wrong foot and he knows I like going to the dentist, so I'm no fun to him. We're just denying each other the usual experiences and neither of us is going to cave.

I've thought about this too much.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Hahaha
You clearly have analysed this one - I think you're right though. I think its a bit of a power trip for some dentists, they like you feeling uncomfortable and scared, the bloody buggers! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I won't be happy until I get the dentist from Little Shop of Horrors

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

naa, dentist is fine
it was the hygenist, which I go to because I have a work-paid-for dental plan. Basically I sit down, they look in my mouth, tell my teeth are awesome, polish them and then give me a big bill that I don't have to pay.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 12:05, Reply)

FLIMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
I've missed you dude!
You still off work?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Awww I missed you too! :D
I'm back in work today as I have a meeting this afternoon I need to be in... wish I didn't though. Currently both my nostrils are blocked, which isn't really a problem so long as I don't need to, you know, breathe and eat and junk! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Put a cotton bud up your nose
Not as far as your brain, obviously. But sometimes I find shoving a cotton bud with some Vaseline up there makes it loosen a bit.

And I'm good, ta!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)

This is an amazing plan with only two minor drawbacks
1. I don't have any cotton buds
2. I don't have any Vaseline

*cries*

I will try this out tonight when I am home though if I'm still all stuffy - thank you.

I think I'm going to try and buy some Vicks at lunch time so I stop sounding like a mole in a crisp packet.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY! ^

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I told DiT he sounded like a mole in a crisp packet
when he snored the other night. He just looked at me with an confused expression and asked me to make the noise... I did, it was marvellously accurate if I do say so myself.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I think it is spot-on
I don't know why or how, because I've never had the pleasure of listening to a mole in a crisp packet.
But I know it is spot-on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Ace
You'll have to investigate the sound for yourself if you ever happen across a mole.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Mole Bukkakae
Dirty girl!
EDIT: I read that as come across a mole my mistake, carry on
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

i think to 'come' can be the same as to 'happen' in some circles
Bukkake circles, for example.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:47, Reply)

You put cock right in, your cock right out
in out
in out
Shake it all about!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

you do bukkake-cokey and you turn around
that's what it's all about, SPLUFF!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)

WOOOOOAAAAAHHHH
spluffy spunky spunky
WOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH
spluffy spunky spunky

Worst 8th birthday party EVA
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Hahaha
Oh dear.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Yeah, it did go down hill rather rapidly

I blame Roota
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Fuck off
Mine was fucking ace
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:54, Reply)

It was all ace

but moles to bukkakae birthday parties for 8 year olds is a fairly rapid decline in taste over 4 posts!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:56, Reply)

It was
*sadface*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

sad spunk
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:57, Reply)

That's what they called me at school

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

...and I have a crisp packet to hand.
Which I usually do, to be honest.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Same here
Its unusual for me to be found without crisps!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

We've just had another delivery to the office
So far I have resisted.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Hahaha
I still have a packet of my freebie Tyrrells in the office, they're mocking me! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 12:02, Reply)

The only beef I have with talk is the format

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)

This is what I tell them about you MUAHAHAHA
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)