There hasn't been a post since 7pm last night - WEEKEND THREAD
That's right shitfaces, what are you getting up to this weekend?

I've got to get up early to do some exercise tomorrow but the chances are I'll sleep in. I'll also be keeping up to date with the German football (tonight) and the English/Italian (tomorrow).

There shall be no booze consumed, this health kick as alive and .. kicking. Whatcha doin?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:13, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Going to see a mate where I will drink lots most probably

beefore taht though I have to:

unblock the bath
paint a door
wash the sheets
sweep the floor
buy a specific bottle of wine
sand the bottom of the front door
maybe run somewhere
renew my house insurance
write my last thank you later

well you did ask...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Sounds about nineteen times more productive than my plans

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I had a dream my living room door fell off
and there was a wider nicer door underneath.
I'm trying to process this.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:06, Reply)

This weekend I'm spring cleaning,
I'm going to do as much as I can, I should probably make a spring cleaning playlist.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Will this include..
'I Want to Break Free' by Queen?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Nothing but

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:30, Reply)

and 'Dust My Broom' by Elmore James
or anything by The Wipers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I think I could clean to that.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I like to speed-clean
to stuff like System of a Down and Mindless Self Indulgence. If you dust in time with the music it's done in half an hour.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I used to go running
accompanied by Motorhead's 'No Sleep Til Hammersmith' for similar reasons.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Playing a gig tonight
starting at 10:30 which is frankly ridiculous. The moron who runs the place is trying to get people to stay in his pub rather than going to clubs, but on past experience most people have fucked off by about 11, so we'll be playing to a mostly empty place.

I'm going to sleep for the rest of the weekend.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Haha, you country folk are funny.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:32, Reply)

seriously, the guy who runs this place is an idiot
and he's got one of the best pubs in town
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:39, Reply)

My brother and I thought about buying a pub
Then we realised that this was possibly the most terrible idea we'd ever had. We'd both be dead within a few months.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I've come to the conclusion that I can't be arsed with the pub these days
I think is in response to most of my mates wanting to do nothing but go to the pub.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I've never been a big pub fan
Too many halfwits, the drink is too pricey and I end up just wanting to get back for a smoke.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:48, Reply)

They have their place I reckon.
I do love settling in for a roast and a load of beers on a cold Sunday afternoon, in a pub with a real fire and a pile of newspapers...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Absolutely
but that doesn't fit the mould of most folk's idea of. 'going to the pub'. 3 deep at the bar, the air thick with hairspray and desperation, barely concealed aggression, gay silk shirts and 'a round of shots for the lads, WAHEY'.

Absolute nightmare.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I think you're going to the wrong places

get yourself a good pub guide, that should receommend some more traditional ale-ly pubs
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I know all about decent pubs
I haven't been to one of those hooting fuck fests for 14 months, however, because I work with zombehs, and I want to show my face tonight, I will have to run the gauntlet.

Used to go to a cracking microbrewery pub that sold all my favourite bottled beers, including the towering Trappist Rochefort 12 (11.3%) and they also had Liefmans Kriek on draught, which was frankly amazing!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

You'd LOVE my local
They are Belgian beer specialists and they have fucking hundreds of 'em.
www.viewlondon.co.uk/pubsandbars/the-dove-review-15757.html
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Looks brilliant
I particularly like the sound of the back bar that is "darker and more sombre with a European beer cellar feel to it". Sounds good. Although, I would be too tempted to put all the lovely glasses into my bag, as 'souveniers'.


/scottish bastard
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:30, Reply)

There are some mental glasses
There's one that looks like a test tube and comes with its own wooden stand - rather too 'look at me, I'm a beer specialist' for my liking though. I do have two pilfered Delerium Tremens glasses which I use for cognac...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Yeah, those Kwak ones are well OTT, never tried it.
I had a few Tremens glasses as well, lovely beer, very creamy. Ended up breaking them though, mainly because i'm a drunken buffoon. On one particularly eventful afternoon, i walked out of a pub with 6, yes 6, Leffe glasses. I use them for wine, and they are simply perfect.

Fuck, i'm choking for a beer now.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Me too
*checks yard arm*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I've decided I'm going t'pub at dinner time
Get a head start, only a Wetherspoons mind you, so Erdinger or Leffe would be my best choice. However, they do have a new wheat beer, hilariously called Tucher. probably pronounced 'Tooshare', but i'm opting for 'Toucher'
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:03, Reply)

when you've ordered it, leer at the barman
and ask if they have a kids' area.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

...and a pint of 'Old Frotter' as well please barkeep.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I've never understood folk whose idea of a 'good pub'
is one where you can't get served for shit, can't get a seat and have to bellow at your friends in order to hear each other. That, people, is a shit pub. And don't give me any crap about a 'lively atmosphere' either - if you are unable to create a pleasant atmosphere with your own friends, and instead need to supplement your evening with braying strangers, you are a boring cunt and so are your mates.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I think it's just the youngsters from about 16-19
they think because all the adults are there heaving at the bar that the place must be excellent. The majority tend to learn the err of their ways.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Gutting.
On the plus side you can play any self-indulgent crap you want. Although no doubt you probably do this anyway.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:37, Reply)

of course we do!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Why do you think they all leave?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:39, Reply)

no one ever listens
so it's not because of the music
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Soul destroying isn't it?
When I was paying my dues as a DJ I had some terrible nights, like playing to a near-empty bar on a wet Wednesday. What's worse is a place empty apart from one really, really pissed up twat who think's you're the best DJ they've ever seen and repeatedly tells you this whilst trying to impress you with their knowledge by requesting every single record they've ever heard of in that particular style.

I don't miss it, I can tell you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Sounds grim
Although I'm sure you've also had plenty of high octane nights behind the wheels of steel! Many a time i've wished i could drag the stupid fucking DJ out of his booth and just play some 'classics'. Too often DJ's disappear up their own arses and insist on playing the latest, laziest, easiest to mix crap they can get their hands on. I would be all up for mixing it up big time...say Squarepusher followed by New Fads followed by Autechre followed by Beefheart type thing.

Just playing great music, basically.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:58, Reply)

There were some great nights, that's true.
Playing to 3000 people in a warehouse in Kings Cross, or to a packed-to-the-rafters Cork Opera House at the Guinness Jazz Festival were high points. As was my residency at Turnmills, playing alongside folk like Norman Cook (one of the nicest people I've ever met), and The Chemical Brothers...

Seems like a lifetime ago.

*stares wistfully into the distance*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:04, Reply)

*snaps fingers*
Monty, MONTY.... these invoices need checked.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:09, Reply)

hahaha brilliant.
If you could see the wet and windswept industrial estate that I can see out of my window, you would understand how utterly miserable it was to snap out of that little reverie....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

At least you have
something to look at. I work in a windowless dungeon. Trust me, windswept and grey would be like a watching a rainbow on mushrooms for me.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Damn, I've been that guy a couple of times.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I thought I recognised you.
Managed to clean the sick off those shoes yet?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:05, Reply)

It's like I'm in The Truman Show.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Just see it as a jam for which you will be paid

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Cleaning and baking cakes with kiddo tomorrow.
Walking eight or nine miles with my folks on Sunday. I can hardly fucking wait to get out there and get my heartrate up. It's going to be massively soggy but I don't care.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I should walk

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I'm going to a party.
I shall endeavour to remember all of it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Tonight I'm going to Nottingham to see an excellent, excellent band.
And then tomorrow I'm back to Civilisation, accompanied by a hangover, to buy a Fridge Freezer.

ROCK AND ROLL.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:02, Reply)

between your fridge/freezer and Vipros' cooker we should have a group subscription to Which magazine.
It would be pretty useful.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:06, Reply)

And so, indeed, b3ta does become a consumer opinion website.
WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!

In my next post: what shall we put in the freezer?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:12, Reply)

That fancy new pudding
I think it's called Viennetta. I think posh people eat it because on the advert it's served on a silver platter.

Also, some of 'them' oven chip thingies and Do They Know It's Christmas, for the kiddies in Africa.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Those prositute torsos, for a start.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:14, Reply)

My mum's friend keeps a dead owl in hers.
Apparently she's intending to teach herself taxidermy.



Also, just wait til I start looking for pushchair reviews. It's a fucking minefield. (I was thinking of a buying a wheelbarrow instead.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Just do a shawly-awly instead!
My great grandma said prams were only really to carry your shopping.
So much so that my nan used to have a McLaren buggy with a box in for her 'messages' long after we'd all grown up.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Remember the discussion about Smegs.
Get an affordable and reliable fridge instead.
May I suggest you look at John Lewis' own brand white goods. My mother has only recently replaced our one from 1984. And that was only because it went yellow. It worked fine inside.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I don't want any SMEG in my kitchen.
We've seen a decent one in Currys. It freezes, it fridges, it is all we need.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Good man.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I saw that CJ

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:15, Reply)

HA!
Straight back at ya Roota, you yellow fridged deviant.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:20, Reply)

My dad's main drunken traits used to be
Pissing in odd spots round the house, hiding his money and being unable to find it the next day, and singing Mack The Knife.
He's thankfully grown out of the first two, and Mack the Knife is shifting to give floorspace to 'I Know That Someday You'll Want Me To Want You'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Picking up the keys to our recently-purchased house (assuming completion happens as planned today), wedding dress shopping with a friend. And then hunting, killing, cooking and eating a haggis, with lashings of whisky.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Same old story with me
Supposed to be going to a birthday but my guts are conveniently playing up. I may cancel. At this rate no fucker would turn up to mine even if I did something cos they'll all be cross with me for bailing out of theirs.

I am also going to do some spring cleaning.
I am also catching up with a mate.
I am also going to buy new clothes and grundies.

I much prefer quiet pubs, like my pub dring the week.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:10, Reply)

May I just say:
ORIGAMI COCKS!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I'm so doing one of these later!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:14, Reply)

There goes my lunch break

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:16, Reply)

...with the guuuy I used to call my frieeeend

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Que?!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I sang your post to the tune of "There goes my fiiiirst love (woooooo)"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I need a party trick.
I'm so going to master that.
( girlinthehole, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Don't forget that other party trick you have
also involving a cock
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Haha!

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I don't do that one anymore.
I wasn't being invited to anyone's party.
( girlinthehole, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Jellas bitchiz

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I know.
It's not my fault I don't have a gag reflex.
( girlinthehole, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Mum?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

you're going to the wrong parties.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:43, Reply)

This deserves to be in the newsletter.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:38, Reply)

It does.
"Ooh-ooh! Let's all click!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:41, Reply)

ha, yeah like anyone checks the offtopic popular page.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:46, Reply)

...apart from althegeordie who uses it as barometer of popularity,
the great homo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

The great homo.
That should be his sig.
( girlinthehole, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I'm hardly on it anymore
Some might say that's because I'm not funny but I refuse to believe that. I think there's some sort of error in the site code.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Nooo!
Then everyone will be making them and I won't look clever.
( girlinthehole, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Just make a really big one and yours will stand out.

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)