Where's Pooflake when you need him?
Release Bernard!

DISCLAIMER: This is likely to be meaningful to fewer than 10 people in these parts. Tough.

What? You want a question as well? OK.
Last night I ate far too much, and now my stomach feels as though its full of pewter frogs. What's in your stomach today?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:17, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Roast spuds mainly, and gravy.
I love roast spuds and gravy.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Haha!
There isn't much in my stomach at the moment, hence me eating an apple as I type this.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I haven't eaten since Saturday afternoon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:26, Reply)

*looks stern*
*crosses arms*


You really need to look after yourself better Monty.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Oh I'm alright really.
*coughs up blood*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:40, Reply)

You may be ok now but in ten years time you'll be buggered.

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I'm buggered now, mate.
I need a good woman to look after me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:46, Reply)

You won't find a good women to take you on in that state.
Catch 22.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I know.
I'm resigned to the fact that I shall be single for the rest of my life. I wouldn't touch me with a bargepole.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I don't know.
Women do like to get their hands on a fixer upper.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 11:02, Reply)

There are fixer-uppers, and then there are write-offs....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Fire up the griddle!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:30, Reply)

last night's roast duck
well, actually, it's probably a bit lower than that by now
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Did you save the fat that ran out?
Roast potatoes made with duck fat are the shiznit
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:31, Reply)

This is most definitely true.
Handy for rubbing on oneself before a Channel-swimming attempt too, I've found.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I certainly did save it
and used some of it on the potatoes that I cooked at the same time as well.

direct duck to potato transfer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Cereals and acid mainly
Which sounds more worrying than it really is
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Porridge garnished with blueberries
And a midmorning yoghurt.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I was once privy to a private(ish Kaol was there)
sereade of Bernard.
*dreams*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Lovely wasn't it?

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:50, Reply)

It's a small, select group
that has ever had a first-hand encounter with Bernard. For me, it was with Captain Placid, TRL, Jesse, Professor Kenny Martin, PJM and chickenlady, all in BGB's front room.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I really should set up a shrine.
I have one of Pooflake's plectrums somewhere.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:55, Reply)

*dreams of knowing what a 'sereade' is*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I hate you

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I had breakfast for dinner last night
So that's probably in there along with the previous nights chinese and many french fancies.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 25 Jan 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Right!
I'll get Pooflake to record 'Bernard' so that the laydees can go all misty-eyed and soppy (or turn into rampant sexual predators-YMMV) if it's the last thing I do!
Those of the female persuasion who have first-hand knowledge of the irresistable power of 'Bernard' should warn the uninitiated - it's heady stuff!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 14:33, Reply)