So while Sky News have been media-raping the emaciated yacht couple kidnapped by pirates in Africa
the government has stood by its stance of not negotiating with kidnappers or paying ransoms. Do you think this is right, or do you have a more creative way of resolving the situation?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:39, 79 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well
remembering John McCarthy and Brian Keenan I think it would be a bit harsh to negotiate now.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Why?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:42, Reply)

If you take a stance
that directly affects people in that position, it would seem unfair to change it, especially since I think the rule itself while not necessarily admirable is needed and wanted
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Fair point
but I can guarantee this couple don't see it that way. Also, the government has indicated that it wouldn't stop a private intervention which paid the ransom, which kind of undermines their position if the kidnappers ultimately get what they want.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:47, Reply)

eh
I almost hate myself for saying this, but while I wish that couple could be rescued, I'm not certain it's worth a complete policy u-turn especially if there is a private intervention happening. Whether the kidnappers get what they want or not, the government has to be seen to have clean hands on the matter which is why they'd allow a private intervention which saved the couple's lives, but not a public one that offers precedent
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:50, Reply)

The government won't be seen to have clean hands
if they end up being executed in high definition.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Sadly they won't be the first
or I guess the last. There have been a rash of these sorts of kidnapping and ransoming over the past few years. Sometimes none of it makes the news in a big way. I feel that the chance of the execution is relatively low
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:54, Reply)

The thinking behind it is
that if the government officially caves and pays a ransom, it creates a precedent and leaves itself open to future expectations of ransom paying.

I propose sending in the special forces to covertly drop a big box full of kitten on the pirate ship. That way the pirates will be distracted by the fluffiness, and the hostages can quickly escape.

The downside is, of course, the hostages themselves may be overwhelmed by the kitten love and thus not be able to make a break for it. Its swings and roundabouts, really.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I think we should use reverse psychology on hostage takers.
"Fine, kill them, see if I care..."

and that's why I was kicked out of negotiator school
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:43, Reply)

After much consideration
I think they should send in proper pirates with cutlass and pistol. That will show them miserable pseudo pirates. How can a high powered Zodiac compare to a galleon? I ask you, call themselves pirates, chavs more like.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I bet they dont even drink rum
amateurs
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Or grog.
Perhaps what these boys need is drink. A vessel full of liquor should be floated in their direction, and when they pick it up, we can pounce.

It worked with all those cowboy films with drunk indians.

Only with wagons.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Like it!
send your idea to the foreign office along with a copy of "Carry on Cowboy". I reckon we can save this couple yet.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Done

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I hear they have Burberry eye-patches.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:49, Reply)

and that hook has Elizabeth Duke stamped on it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Real 2 carat gold plate me hearties
Throw the lubbers overboard.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:53, Reply)

How can a RPG and machine guns compare to cannons and cutlasses?
Pretty well actually.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:53, Reply)

The technical advantage would be offset by courage,
drunkenness, and the wish to rape black bottoms.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)

rpg's are pretty good at going through wood.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Not really
The charge is focussed into a high speed plasma jet designed to burn through armour plate. Wood would disrupt the jet, and the various layers diffuse the effect. It would be unpleasant but not too bad.

Am I taking this too seriously?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Suicide bobbers.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Suicide dobbers.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:13, Reply)

They should have probably given a shit about Somalia before it got this bad.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Or navigated around it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)

^^This
EDIT - agreeing with Psychochomp
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I think Somalia
has actually received quite a lot of aid and help over the years. Not really sure what more we can do
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)

How about encouraging free trade by reducing farming subsidies?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:58, Reply)

free trade is the ideal in the end
it worked for Asian countries, but given the current administration and the inability to see past the debt/short term aid I doubt it'd be implemented anytime soon
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

This boy's a fantasist

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Ok how about trying to stop corrupt leaders and warlords putting their stolen money through UK banks?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:25, Reply)

and damage our own economy?
Solve the coruption in the basket case countires and we may stand a chance of law and order.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I thought they were grabbed off the seychells
which is never a pleasant experience
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Send in the SBS
That's what they're for.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Wasn't that attempted at the beginning?
And for some reason aborted at the last moment?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

They were all reading Andy McNabb books at the time.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Swinton Building Society?
I admire their finacial products and excellent customer service, but i'm not sure daring hostage rescues is part of their portfolio.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

The Crimson Purple Insurance Society would be much better.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Sending in the Crimson Permanent Assurance would be a better option.
Fight fire with fiscally responsible fire, is my thinking.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Jinx!

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I didn't have time to Wiki.
Actually, couldn't be arsed.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Its the thought that counts.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Too kind.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:09, Reply)

the government should fit every citizen with a concealed explosive device
so that in this situation it can be set off destroying them and everything around them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I've got one fitted already
Its a temporary device called "last night's chicken Madras"

Its a bit unstable though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Kidnap, eh?
I'll show you, muthafuc....
( thealternativefact, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Just had a better idea
Let a crack team of Baptist missionaries go and rescue them.

It worked (almost) in Haiti.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Send in the clowns.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I think if you go traipsing around the third world then you have to accept that you may be taken hostage somewhere.
It's unfortunate but it's the chance you take for an adventure.
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Yeah, some type of gap year.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I had problems on the Costa Del Sol.
Bloody police.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I had problems on the Costa Del Sol too
But it was more to do with not being able to be any more than 10 metres away from the bog at any given time. For a week.

Worst. Holiday. Ever.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:35, Reply)

There's never a Honda Accord when you need one is there?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:28, Reply)

we need top gear
to convert a Honda Accord into a car/boat hybrid. Not that it would be the International Boat of Justice, but Clarkson might die trying to get round the straight of Gibralta.
( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Sly Stallone
and a minute-gun... its the only logical answer.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Send Tango and Cash!
turner and Hooch

Cagny and Lacey

Dizele and Pascoe

Quincy and Dr. Mark Sloan
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Quincy
and Sam shurely!?
( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I just liked the idea of a Quincy/Diagnosis Murder crossover

For unstoppable daytime crime fighting!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Or Bruce Willis
in a white vest - fnar!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Did you fancy him?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I have a photo of me dressed as bruce willis from Die hard on my facebook page.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:23, Reply)

You have a picture of you in a vest with lipstick on it
And I preferred him in Moonlighting anyway.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Could somebody please verify this for me
(because I'm lazy) but I thought they told friends/family that they knew how dangerous the unpoliced international waters were before they left. If so, they shouldn't expect the government to help them out.
( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:32, Reply)

it's like Ken Bigley
Nobody deserves to die like that but they KNOW the risks.
It would seem that the adventure or the money have a stronger pull in some cases.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 10:53, Reply)

You heartless sod!
You're worse than Boris Johnson - you should be forced to go to Liverpool to apologise... for everything.
( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:02, Reply)

*holds a two-minute silence*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Not good enough
You should be forced to experience the deprivation, degradation and desolation of Liverp... oh sorry, carry on.
( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:27, Reply)

We're on the up dude
We're getting a SECOND big wheel this week.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:33, Reply)

My apologies
I'll be sure to add your town to my places to visit. Top 50. In the north west.
( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Listen, I'm no Ricky Tomlinson
But Liverpool is boss, right.
I'm getting all patriotic. I think that cat-attack has made my head all funny and there's a pebble in my throat.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Your cat's attacking you
because it wants to be put in a cat home in Manchester.
( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:46, Reply)

That cuts...
that really cuts, man.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:46, Reply)

:D

( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:51, Reply)

When you get to four,
They will all be nicked in one go.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:55, Reply)

LOLLAGE!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Haha
and replaced with bricks.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 12:01, Reply)

POTD

( djtrialprice, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Don't give in and pay up!
Send the SAS!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I was wondering why they don't send in the SBS too
Seems they know where they are and news people have got to them so why not big fuckers with guns. I bet if it was Call of Duty it could be done.
( Peej, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 12:49, Reply)