Thank fuck it's Friday
Today I am mainly flemming everywhere. As in snot, not Ian.

I don't care what you talk about as long as it's not cats, valentines day or other commercial fuckwadding "celebrations", diet coke being better than real coke (it's not diet coke tastes like feet) or the weather
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:40, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday my cat told me he wasn't going to buy me a Valentines day card because it was raining outside which meant he couldn't get his favorite fizzy pop either.

( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:49, Reply)

And just for the hell of it...
it's spelled 'phlegm'.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:52, Reply)

and 'Fleming'.

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Maybe in Scotland it's spelt that way
in badger land it's flem. I prefer that spelling even though I am fully aware it's wrong
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:57, Reply)

In parts of Scotland
it's sometimes spelled 'spochle'.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Diet Coke is a cunt!
Have fat Coke or don't have Coke at all.
Thank TNTSCoR it's Friday.
I've had a wonderful sleep.

(I had a dream that I was complaining loudly that my 'Easy Peel' small orange things were not easy to peel, but I shan't dwell.)

I've got money for ma meter an' a two bar heater!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I dreamt about Simon Cowell
it was disturbing
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:58, Reply)

I'll say...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:59, Reply)

That's nothing
I've had two sex dreams about Michael Buble now. What the fuck? I've only ever seen him once, on the Royal Variety Show and now my subconscious wants to marry him.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:01, Reply)

It doesn't necessarily want to marry him
Maybe it wants to have its way and then leave him swiftly.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:05, Reply)

but in the dreams
both times we were planning to elope as well as enjoy the filthy times. My subconscious is sick and wrong
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Your subconcious
likes getting bummed more than Roota.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Is this possible?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:23, Reply)

It's very difficult
but it is just about possible. She does so love the bumming.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Even more than appearing in minority publications?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Not as much as that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)

She loves the bumming more than she loves working on the Deli counter

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)

It is, but only slightly
I saw a documentary about it once
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Now it's getting hotter
It's only getting sweeter.

Two good nights sleep in a row? I'd be worried you're turning into an old woman.
( djtrialprice, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Im at
work til 2:30, then maybe go to cinema or to the pub. Rock n roll.
(kitescreech still here, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I drank too much Sloe Vodka last night

now my head is full of fluff
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I went to the gym this morning
They now charge you £1 if you want a towel. I think this is shit. Also, none of the paper towel dispensers had any paper towels in and the mens changing rooms once again stank like fetid arse.

LA Fitness are pretty shit.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Aren't LA Fitness the ones always on TV for being a huge scam?

( Peej, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:23, Reply)

LA fitness sounds like a bumming palace

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:24, Reply)

That's why Al goes

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:26, Reply)

The tall ceilings and wide rooms remind me of your vagina

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)

My vagina smells nicer though
I've just replaced the Glade plug in
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I'm glad you got the place wired
It was a pain having to drag those extension cords in all the time.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

The HSE
pulled me up on a lot of slip trip hazzards
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:37, Reply)

I line mine with bicarb every morning
Is that where I'm going wrong?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Splash of vinegar
and you could host foam parties
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:36, Reply)

You would fucking love it there
sometimes it's hard to get on the treadmills for all the bumming going on.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I hate exercise
Could I just *exchange* on the sidelines until bumming time?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)

You could be the in house fluffer

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:29, Reply)

house horse
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I like a challenge

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Gyms feel a bit alien to me
I half expect Clint Eastwood to be running it and Morgan Freeman convincing Clint that I'm young enough to box.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

They stink and I hate exercise and perves

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Liar
You love pervs.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I noticed the Paolo Nutini reference above
Won't someone please pay attention to me
*throws tantrum*
( djtrialprice, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)

There there honey
I've been waiting for somebody to get it, so you can have a gold star on your chart for that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Does he get to bum you when his column is full?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Mais oui

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

there's only room for one gold star
in each column right?
( djtrialprice, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Oh no son
FIVE
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:03, Reply)

sod that
al lets me do him already
( djtrialprice, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Woo!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:06, Reply)

woo yay
I pump iron at home so I can fill my house with all the lovely stink, exercise and pervs.
( djtrialprice, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

*exchanges*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:01, Reply)

iron mens sweaty arses
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:03, Reply)

see above

( djtrialprice, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)

You Pump Iron?
Really?

How come you still look like that then?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I pumped mini-irons
But that was to recover the lost strength from t'gallstone caused weight loss. And that didn't turn me into a beefcake.

*loves the word beefcake*
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:12, Reply)

:P
I got food in my belly and a licence for my telly: nothing's going to bring me down! listening to this right now
( djtrialprice, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Nutini is a fucking Norris.
Hope this helps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Of course it does.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Get on you miserable old cunt

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I pyar do kidda

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

You get pervs in the gym?
I'm obviously not of the type to get pervs then. Either that or I'm terribly unobservant (Stevie Wonder can do that to me if I have my posh headphones on...)
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

They're looking slyly using the mirrors

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I live in a building that has a gym, and when I use it it's often empty.
But the designers of the building didn't quite think the positioning through: the main entrance is "open" two stories, with a "balcony" on top with the gym in. It means checking the post involves the smell of sweating and *whirrrrrrrr* noises of some random on an exercise bike.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Awww man
If I had any idea who you were I'd totally feel sympathetic. But as it is I couldn't give a fuck. You should try bumming, Roota assures me it makes you feel better and you can't smell anything apart from bum afterwards.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Haha ^_^
I'm just trying to fill in the day, not after sympathy.

I'm not sure how to make it interesting... knob gag perhaps?
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:13, Reply)

day arses with my micro penis
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:18, Reply)

arses with my microwave penis
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Microwave penis
the new aids cure!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:27, Reply)

It makes me feel all warm inside

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 10:28, Reply)