I've just watched the Citroen ad
where footage of John Lennon is voiced over by a soundalike going on about how you should do something new because how is looking back to the past rock'n'roll? Do something new etc.

That's John Lennon. You know, the John Lennon who released that album called 'Rock'n'Roll', murdering covers of 50s rock'n'roll classics like Gene Vincent's 'Be Bop a Lula'.

*sigh*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:41, 151 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why do you piss on all my wonderful childhood memories?
Just stop talking before you ruin Moonlighting and Hi-De-Hi as well.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:45, Reply)

God I loved Moonlighting.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:46, Reply)

I was allowed to stay up on a Thursday to watch that
I'd make a load of sandwiches and read my comics in bed until it started.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:47, Reply)

Su Pollard was a crack fiend
True fact.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:47, Reply)

Haha she is a knob, like...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:48, Reply)

she was in Swansea's panto last year
made a pretty good witch
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:50, Reply)

I used to see her in Angel Sainsbury's all the fucking time
looking hopeful round the veg aisle fruitlessly hoping to be 'recognised'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Aw, she's not well, man

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:54, Reply)

I reckon Ted Bovis traumatised her.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:57, Reply)

I manage to mention Ted Bovis about once every few weeks.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:00, Reply)

Haha fruitlessly, christ!
*wobbles belly*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:12, Reply)

Paul Shane was known for freebasing heroin before shoots.
And Ruth Madoc was on the game.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:00, Reply)

But she's hella ugly. Who'd pay to fuck her?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:03, Reply)

people who mistake her for Servalan

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:05, Reply)

Que?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:05, Reply)

Blake's 7

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:06, Reply)

jinx!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:07, Reply)

Don't you have to say it at the same time for that?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Yeah a minute later doesn't really count

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:15, Reply)

from my point of view you were later
now is relative
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:19, Reply)

Relative to the timestamp on your post, yeah.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:24, Reply)

might be

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:28, Reply)

Zingity zing

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:28, Reply)

blake's 7

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:07, Reply)

YM
/ac
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:06, Reply)

trudat

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:09, Reply)

You are coming to my house tomorrow.
Do I have to clean?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:16, Reply)

Nah, I'm used to mess :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:20, Reply)

You are preaching to a
fully-paid-up-member-of the beatles-are-so-fucking-over-rated club.

I liked them as a beat combo imitator outfit - all of that psychedelic rubbish was frankly better done by Pink Floyd.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:51, Reply)

I preferred their Take That era too

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:52, Reply)

^this^

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:53, Reply)

i like the beatles
/controversial
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Better than the Stones and the Stone Roses

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:57, Reply)

Beatles better than the Rolling Stones?
Do you like in some crazy backwards world?

Have you ever actually listened to the lyrics to All you need is love? They're unforgivable.
( Peej, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:59, Reply)

That advert makes me want to burn my own ears off.
I have the same reaction when 'Imagine' comes on the radio.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 21:59, Reply)

I'm almost scared to confron what I 'imagione

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:00, Reply)

Was that English?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:01, Reply)

He's broken.
Point and laugh.
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:02, Reply)

*points*
*laughs*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:02, Reply)

Must be.
Monty never makes mistakes.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:02, Reply)

bwahahahahhaa

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:04, Reply)

You can fack orf an' all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:06, Reply)

charming

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:10, Reply)

I di'nt meeeen it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:11, Reply)

Good lord man, learn how to spell or face the wrath of the grammar nazi

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:12, Reply)

I was
'talking all common'. I hasn't gone well, has it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:18, Reply)

Evenin', Yoko

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:02, Reply)

Harro!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:02, Reply)

I'm a bit 'confused'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:03, Reply)

Sexually.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:07, Reply)

To shirt,
or not to shirt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:09, Reply)

What was the question?

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:11, Reply)

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous campness,
Or to take arms against a sea of cocks
And by opposing
Bum them
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:12, Reply)

That's quite enough 'theatre boy'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:13, Reply)

O, ALAS AND ALACK!
THOUS HAST SPEAR'D MY HEART WITH YOUR UNKIND AND HARMFUL PROSE!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:15, Reply)

Oh shit he really means it. He's using internet dwamatic capitals and everything

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:20, Reply)

*noises off*
*parp*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:23, Reply)

ET TU, JSBX?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:26, Reply)

Brap

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:28, Reply)

IS THIS A DAGGER I SEE BEFORE ME?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:31, Reply)

No, it's YM abusing a sausage

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:35, Reply)

I always get those two confused.
And so to bed. Night all!

*exeunt*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:41, Reply)

I reckon that's worth a click.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:17, Reply)

There were nearly fisticuffs running up to my nana's funeral
Cos my dad's bro wanted Imagine played in the church.
He got his way. Tool.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:01, Reply)

I suggested 'Angel of Death' by Slayer for my Nan's funeral last year.
Dad said yes, but my aunt said no :(
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:03, Reply)

The touchy bitch

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:05, Reply)

SO UNREASONABLE

( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:06, Reply)

I KNO, RITE?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:07, Reply)

When I toddle off
I would like "Little Boy You're Going to Hell" from the South Park movie...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:05, Reply)

Well,
you're actually getting 'Mr Hanky The Christmas Poo' from South Park, so you'll just have to get on with it.
Or stay alive.
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:07, Reply)

If I die at Christmas time, I will relent on this one.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:07, Reply)

Hurrah!
*plans festive murder*
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:09, Reply)

They're the best kind

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:21, Reply)

I'm almost scared to confront what I 'imagine'
when I hear 'imagine no possessions' coming out of the trap of the bloke who had another suite below the one in which he did his famous bed-in, which featured a climate-controlled storage area for his fur coats.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:02, Reply)

When I was but knee high to a grasshopper, I asked my dad how John Lennon died (I was about 4, I think).
He said "He was shot by a music lover."
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:04, Reply)

Father's for justice.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:05, Reply)

Psst! Quick! Hide that rogue apostrophe!

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:10, Reply)

It was a pun, you divver
As in, he was is 'for justice' i.e. his dad considered the death of Lennon to be justice and was all for it.


Not exactly Peter Cook but a grammar-based gag rather than an error. This time...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Do you like George a bit, though?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:05, Reply)

He was the least shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:07, Reply)

And yet still monstrously shit.
But still, Paul McCuntney is the worst of them all.
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:08, Reply)

'Ere, just leave George out of it, right.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:09, Reply)

Fair enough.
My heart is already full of hatred for other people anyway.
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:10, Reply)

Ta luv

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:12, Reply)

Not so:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAU0l7325w0
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:11, Reply)

But this seems reasonable to me.
It's the mongs sending in requests who need to be dealt with.
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:13, Reply)

Peace and love.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Look,
saying Ringo Starr isn't as shit as McCuntney is only like saying cancer isn't as shit as AIDS.
They're both pointless twats and I'll have none of them.
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:17, Reply)

What a cunt
was that actually him?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Oh yes.
He's 'too busy' eh? Doing fucking what, precisely (with peace and love)?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:16, Reply)

Oh yes
We had Beatles topiary in Liverpool, and Ringo's head got chopped off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:16, Reply)

Yay!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:08, Reply)

Dude.
Are you coming up this way over the next few weeks? I reckon some severe sunshine appreciation is in order.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:09, Reply)

I fall firmly in the Beatles are over-rated camp.
And evening everyone. I have played footie and done some cleaning this evening so I feel good.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:09, Reply)

Pissy off off
They had good toonz, apart from Good Day Sunshine, and Baby You Can Drive my Car, and Michelle. Oh man they had some shit toonz...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:11, Reply)

OB LA DI OB LA DA
fucking Christ on a fucking unicycle.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:12, Reply)

Oh my god when I got a keyboard for Christmas
And learnt to play Ob La Di Ob La Da really badly, repeatedly, stopping only to listen to my Harry Connick Jr tapes.

My poor parents.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:15, Reply)

See, it's only when they split
that Paul could finally get into genius mode with the Frog Chorus and stuff.....
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:17, Reply)

*thumbs aloft*
"Ooooh"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:18, Reply)

Bom. Bom bom!
Bom. Bom bom bombom.

Something there for everyone!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:20, Reply)

A friend of a friend
had that as wedding music
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:23, Reply)

Fucking hell!
That's even worse than the ex-Mrs Keloid wanting Lady in Red for ours.
That was vetoed with great vengeance and furious anger.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:32, Reply)

No doubt
it was a 'pyaaahno keyboard'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:24, Reply)

It came with a free Richard Clayderman demo video :(
I still have it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:28, Reply)

it's OK, remember the good bits

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:13, Reply)

If I had a penny for every time someone sang Michelle to me.
I'd be fecking loaded.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Hahahahahah
Ha
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:18, Reply)

Why would they do that, Blousey?

( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:19, Reply)

Erm.........
Because they're all mad fuckers.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:20, Reply)

Hahaha
Nicely recovered.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:21, Reply)

What about "I am the walrus"?
*ducks*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:21, Reply)

Et tu Brute?

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:22, Reply)

I really am.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:26, Reply)

Et tu, Brut 33
*splashes it on all over*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:28, Reply)

I prefer it when you smell like a lamb chop.

( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:33, Reply)

*marinades*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:36, Reply)

So what Lennon is saying is...
don't copy, be original. Shame those Oasis cunts didn't watch that.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:11, Reply)

They did, but they're too fick to understand.

( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:18, Reply)

See, I like Oasis
as much as I hate to admit it here but fuck it, I've had a couple. They were in the right place at the right time and I know for a fact someone will come along in ten years and try the same shit and I'll vehemently hate them.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:23, Reply)

Same with the Beatles.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:25, Reply)

Prexactly.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:27, Reply)

Their principal cocaine dealer
once left a message on my phone threatening to kill me because I happened to know someone who owed him a grand. What a tool.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:27, Reply)

Now Monty, I know we'll disagree on this point
but tell me, who was that band, that act, that sound that captured your imagination in your late teens and shaped much of your musical future?

I know it's not that simple cos I was listening to jungle and early drum and bass and Shamen and Paul Simon and heaps of other shit at the time, but while I was learning guitar Oasis was a big influence and inspiration to learn all their stuff and move on to their real music. People, can I please get some recognition for this fact alone?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:31, Reply)

no they are shit

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:33, Reply)

As a child
I was captivated by Jimi Hendrix and to this day no-one has come anywhere near.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Unless you are Jimi Hendrix
you can't pick up a guitar and play his stuff. Oasis was incredibly accessible and I learned virtually everything they did, which helped me to where I am. They got shit, granted, and they're both egotistical fuckwits, but I still like some of their tunes. They never came anywhere near Jimi's talent, I know.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:37, Reply)

Not like him, granted,
but that wasn't your question. When my father first played me his records the depth, skill and emotion displayed, along with the effortless style of his delivery, had an effect on me that no artist before or since has ever done. It's perfect music to me.

Hey Joe was one of the first things I learned to play along with his version of Wild Thing. I'm sure it sounded simply appalling but that was what I wanted to hear from my guitar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:42, Reply)

My question and my point were separate
but hey, fuck it. Are you visiting your brother anytime soon? Gaz eh.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:46, Reply)

I hope so
The fellow is my best friend in the world and I would love to see him every day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Awesome!
Can we organise a joint on a hill in the sun sometime soon?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:50, Reply)

Yeah, they're JUST like the beatles, aren't they?
Beatles, utter chod. Oasis, great. True story.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I'm going to bed.
Everyone is being horrid to me : (

I hope you all get the bad cat aids.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:29, Reply)

Love you!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:30, Reply)

I've already got it, so I wont be mean to you
I'm tired though so I'm off to bed
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:36, Reply)

Me too
Night!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:42, Reply)

Me too.
Later!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Rock'n'roll
Just finished the Beefheart book, 'Through the eyes of magic', by John 'Drumbo' French. It's a fairly harrowing, first hand account of what it was like to be part of The Magic Band. It wasn't always magic. The guy has earned virtually no money whatsoever from being in The Magic Band, despite arranging and transcribing virtually all of Trout Mask Replica and working on various other albums.

It is an excellent book, and the fair weather 'music cunts' of today should read it and see what effort, sweat and blood goes into making provocative and brilliant music.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Never heard of him or them.
So it must be shit.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Witty AND insightful, consider your work here, done.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Monders you helmet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

What are these 'Citroen ads' of which you speak?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 3 Mar 2010, 23:40, Reply)