Is it ladies day on OT? All threads from today have been started by teh ladies
I'm off to hospital today to have part of me scrutinised. Which is your favourite body part to be scrutinised and puzzled over?

Also, Damn it feels good to be a gangster
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:13, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Minge.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I'm sadfacing because you don't have one.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I do like to scrutinize and puzzle over them.
Is applehead a girl? I should have got my panda on.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:21, Reply)

How nice of you to come along
and break the trend
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Shucks thanks vadgegirl

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:15, Reply)

My right tit
You may have seen the screen adaptation.
They had to change it slightly for cinema.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:21, Reply)

I don't like to have anything scrutinised or puzzled over.
Once I had to have an omgletscheckforcancerultrasound and they made me drink copious amounts of water and wait for_fucking_ever just so they could prod and poke and I thought I was gonna wee myself.
Worst. Visit. Ever.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I've had my nuts examined by the doc
he is no longer my doctor, but is still a friend of my parents and a friend of the landlord of one of the pubs my band plays in.

Nice guy, but can't get round the fact that he's the only other man who's had his hands on my giggleberries.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

How much did he pay you?
Edit *examined*
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I'm sorry, but...
Your doctor is now a pub landlord?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:26, Reply)

He holds surgeries in the bar,
after chucking out time.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:28, Reply)

He was struck off for touching up young men

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:28, Reply)

only Vipros didn't complain
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:33, Reply)

no need to apologise
but no, he is friends with the landlord
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:29, Reply)

I knew that
just having a pedantic grammar day.

I wish I could have a pedantic spelling day, just once.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:33, Reply)

i've had a vasectomy, and when i was younger i found a lump
so various people have had a go on them

it's not pleasant, that's for sure
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:29, Reply)

as I had found a lump
the peace of mind from knowing it was nothing eased the unpleasantness of the examination itself
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:31, Reply)

the skin on the back of my elbow
because it's squishy and wrinkly and I can't see it no matter which way I bend.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I just left myself open
to a whole load of strikingthrough
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

I just left myself open
to a whole load of 's are never funny.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:26, Reply)

yes they are

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:30, Reply)

yes they are
I like penis
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:33, Reply)

that we knew already

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:38, Reply)

damn you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:26, Reply)

same to you

this is important, of course
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:29, Reply)

It's quite soft
because I moisterise every day. Although it's still rough to the touch because it's wrinkly so it's not as baby smooth as say the inside of my elbow, which is like satin and marshmallows.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:35, Reply)

satin AND marshmallows
I think I've just cum
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:38, Reply)

haha win
I should write bookporn
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:42, Reply)

my cock and balls
as long as it's a sexy lady doing the scrutinising

oh, who am i kidding? anyone'll do
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

My elbows are my best body part.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:26, Reply)

but is it all rough?
or is it smoooooooooooth
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:28, Reply)

It's pretty rough.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:33, Reply)

then it can't be your best, unless you use it to earn money by sanding down cars or something

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:37, Reply)

you're just saying that to spite me
because you want me to be upset that you love your elbows more than I love mine.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Not at all, I probably subconsiously read your post as I was skimming down and it made me think of elbows.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:50, Reply)

subsconsiously?
You mean religiously.

*doesn't know how to do strikethroughs*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:21, Reply)

<s> strikethrough text</s>

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I'm having cameras shoved in me to examine my innards in a couple of weeks
which I'm not looking forward to.

I had it done before a couple of years back. Despite the uncomfortable-ness of it, it was relatively easy. Go in, get everything washed out of me, lie down on a bed while the doc rummages about, go home again.

This time, they apparently need to go deeper. To do this, the doc explained they wouldn't give me a general anaesthestic to knock me out completely, they'd instead "sedate you so you don't care what happens."

I'm going to get rohypnoled, aren't I.
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:34, Reply)

and then arse-raped
delightful
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Ah well,
It's something to look forward to over the bank holiday, I guess.
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:40, Reply)

yup
and you will care, but you won't be able to prevent anything.


sorry
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:37, Reply)

I wish they'd offered me that for my cervical cancer test last week
it was like being raped by a Transformer.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:37, Reply)

There's a web site for that.
*nods knowingly*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:12, Reply)

what, for tranquilisers
or for being raped by a Transformer?

On that note, there's a whole website devoted to drawings of dragons fucking cars. People are weird.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:33, Reply)

my teeth or possibly my thighs
I would start a new thread myself but I'm sure you'd say that still all the threads had been started by ladies.
( djtrialprice, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I have a bump on my nipple now my peircings have come out.
I often lie in bed and scrutinize it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I do that with my lip hole when I take the stud out for changing
I like to squirt coffee through it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:44, Reply)

where do you have the stud?
I'm assuming it's one of your face lips
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Why do you assume that?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:10, Reply)

it was the coffee bit that did it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Ever been to Bangkok?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:13, Reply)

I have not

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I saw enough of such entertainment in a 15 second glance through a nightclub doorway in Patpong.
I kept my money and spent it on rip-off designer goods in the night market instead.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:17, Reply)

a wise move

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:20, Reply)

ha yes it is
although I do also have a lady part pierced.

It's the lower lip, just a plain labret, not a vertical or anything, although if I'd known about the vertical at the time I totally would have got that instead.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:11, Reply)

sauce!
glad to hear it's not the above the top lip over to the side bauble. worst of all piercings if you ask me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:13, Reply)

yeah I don't like that one either
it usually looks like a cold sore from a distance and is favoured by chavs now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I've had 5 people watching me get a vaginal scan.
I can only hope they enjoyed it.

Also: *smashes up printer*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:10, Reply)

well if you will go on
Embarrassing Bodies
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:11, Reply)

They gave me a sheet to cover my minge,
which I felt was somewhat redundant since they could see my inside ladybits on a screen, ffs.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:19, Reply)

A whole sheet.
Is your minge that big?
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:20, Reply)

They folded it. The sheet, that is.
It wasn't TGB size or anything.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:24, Reply)

yeah that always amuses me
it'll 'hide your dignity' in the same way that sitting on the floor with your eyes shut means that no one can see you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Alright!
I like to have a good ol' puzzle over my knees... knees are funny looking things!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Oi oi!
I used to draw faces on my knees on school trips.
We gave them knotted handkerciefs once.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Me toooo!
I made my knees French once and drew on curly moustaches and berets at jaunty angles.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

NO WAY!
I wish I'd thought of that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I used to chase my friend Ana
with them whilst shouting 'bonjour' and 'hoh he hoh he hooooooh'
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I used to say things about donkey rides
My knees were so British
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Hehehe
Maybe we should have a Knee-Off one day, France vs England and see who wins the battle?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Oh man, can I be Sweden?
I would wear a chef's hat and draw on a smushy nose.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Sounds good to me!
Its a KNEE-OFF people!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

let's get xenophobic in the knee department

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Boo-yah!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Sadly whenever I try a French accent I end up sounding more like
Inigo Montoya! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I think I struck lucky last time I had to get my balls looked at
First I get seen* by a female GP, who books me in for an ultrasound which is run by two more lady doctors. After a few minutes, one of them goes to get another doctor for a second opinion, and in comes...another lady doctor!

Man, they must spent the rest of the afternoon laughing their heads off...

*_fondled
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Ladies have to have a female present when being fondled by a male doctor.
Why doesn't it apply the other way round?
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I don't think you have to
I think you're just entitled to it
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 13:33, Reply)