I ordered groceries online yesterday for the first time and am expecting delivery within the next couple hours.
This excites me muchly. But....for those of you who already get groceries delivered, what's the tipping etiquette?

Also, driving back from Arizona on Sunday I saw a sign that said "State Prison Next Exit", and right underneath was a warning sign saying "Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers" which made me laugh like mad. And I got home to a lovely clean apartment as the guy who was staying at mine to look after the cats took it upon himself to get stuck in and clean evey nook and cranny :)

Edit: Here's a guide to tipping etiquette in the States:
www.findalink.net/tippingetiquette.php

Edit again: I go to give the guy a $5 tip. The delivery drivers are not allowed to accept tips. Win.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 16:52, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is England we don't tip
Also the last time I had food delivered the git dropped a 6 pack of Heinz's finest baked beans on my un-shoed foot.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I've never tipped for groceries being delivered
But then I'm English and we don't tip the way you do. I'd suggest you follow standard US tipping procedure (as I understand it)i.e. 7.4% = minimum 10% = adequate 15%+ = good or exceptional service, of course I may have this totally wrong only having visited once.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I've heard the arguments for it
but the whole tipping culture in america strikes me as stupid and annoying.

The customer shouldn't be expected to tip merely because someone has done the job for which they are paid. if they have done well then fair enough, but if it is merely average they can suck my balls.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I understand the "they don't get paid a good wage" argument
and in response to that I recommend getting a better job. Excuses such as there aren't any, or they require training etc. are not acceptable to me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:02, Reply)

THEN WHO WILL GIVE YOU FOOD?!
You'll have to make it yourself!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:05, Reply)

no one
and eventually if everyone did it then the system would improve for all concerned.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I'd like to take this opportunity to call you a "bus wanker".
Bus wanker!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:09, Reply)

I'd like to make it clear that if I were there
I would tip, because I'm not a wanker.

But it shouldn't be expected.

Also, I like arguing this subject. It drives americans crazy. Almost as much as when you tell them that being liberal should be regarded as a good thing. and then giving them the dictionary definition of it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:12, Reply)

BUS WANKER!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Phahahahahaha!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:16, Reply)

I really don't care, if it's a shitty service then I don't give a good tip but I do tip too much when it's good.
It's really bad at bars, most people give a dollar per drink ordered, which is obscene and the servers expect as much if not more than that.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:15, Reply)

that is obscene
and the expectation and attitude to it is what annoys

in discussions I've had in the past people haven't been able to grasp why the system is shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:17, Reply)

I know what you mean
When I was in Vegas for a week I worked out I spent over $70 on tips - that's shit... I could have gone to the aquarium for that and seen a big shark! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:25, Reply)

$70?! He'd better fucking backflip!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:38, Reply)

system?
I don't follow
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:34, Reply)

not an official system
but the expectations of tipping and stuff
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 18:18, Reply)

nope not getting it

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 18:22, Reply)

I tend to run a tab, as it's usually less to tip on the tab than it is per drink.
But if I'm buying individual drinks, I'll tip $1 a drink.
Saying that, in AZ over hte weekend, the boyfs daughter got utterly hammered to the point I had to ask the bartender to stop serving her shots (she can't hold her liquor at all), which he did. I ordered two more drinks for myself and gave him $5 but that's because he cut her off at my request.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:25, Reply)

These are also my thoughts!
You wanna tip... heres a tip - go get a job which pays you enough so you don't have to RELY ON TIPS!!!

p.s. suck my balls
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:03, Reply)

if they absolutely have to have a job which relies on tips
then if people only tipped great service then everyone would have to provide great service if they wanted tips. That is how things improve.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Exactamundo dooood!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:09, Reply)

most waitstaff only get paid around $3/hour
that's why we tip, that's where they make money
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I know how it works
I'm saying it's a stupid fucking system

I guess it'd be ok if prices for the stuff that you are expected to tip for are significantly lower, as you are directly paying a proportion of the staff wages.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:05, Reply)

You are Mr.Pink
AICMFP
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Mr Pink Pound

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Yeah he only tips high quality cottaging

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:08, Reply)

'tis true.
Most people in the service industry are paid less than minimum wage and therefore rely on their tips. (it's mind boggling that it's an allowed practice!)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I used to get paid less than minimum wage as a waitress
but I figured if I did a really good job serving people I’d get a few tips here and there to help my pay packet… nowadays most people expect/demand tips, even when their service is shockingly terrible. This I do not agree with.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:11, Reply)

I used to work in a pub serving food.
I was really good at my job, but I never got any tips as it was a pub where you paid in advance for your food.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Awww boooo!
I had a similar problem where one of the girls I waited with. She used to size up a table to see if they looked like tippers. If she thought they didn’t have any money she would give me that table to work… it did backfire on her once though. I flirted like a mofo with a group of guys on their Xmas do and they gave me about £40 in tips! Mwahahaha!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:15, Reply)

You SLUUUTTTTTT!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:18, Reply)

You knows it!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:19, Reply)

yeah like when the stripper walks up and moves her hips twice then squats and sticks out her thigh just expecting that dollar
Gawd I hate that, work for your money bitch!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Exacta!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Just blow your nose on her leg
Works every time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:41, Reply)

sounds sexy

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:49, Reply)

It works best
with lumps of coke and bloodclots in your snot.

Tipping at its finest....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:57, Reply)

Last time I was back home,
everyone in the local bar I went in loved me....tipping is so ingrained in me now, that everytime I ordered a pint I'd give 'em a quid to get one for themselves. By the time I'd got down to London for the last few days I'd almost broken myself of the habit.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I bet you'd almost broken yourself free of all your money as well
how does the cost of groceries and stuff compare over there? Does the expected tipping get reflected in prices?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Hmmm.....
it's kind of all relative to the cost of living.

A loaf of bread (decent bread) averages around $3, a pint of milk $1. A whole chicken is around $6, veggies are WAY fucking expensive. Junk food is dirt cheap.
Can vegetables (corn, peas, green beans etc) are around $.80 a can. Coffee is cheap. They've started selling proper teabags now (PG Tips, Yorkshire Tea, Tetley's etc) but they're really expensive - around $5.99 for a 40 pack - well worth it to me, though!

Beer in a bar is usually around $3-$4 a pint (16floz instead of 20floz). Mixed drinks are around $4-$7 depending on the bar.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:22, Reply)

This is all in forrin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I think the exchange rate is currently around 70p to the dollar.

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:29, Reply)

I hear you
But there are bars in New York where the staff aren't paid a wage and exist solely on tips. To not tip there would make you an epic cunt.

Also it can work in your favour in a 'free pour' environment. I also had the fact that I'd accidentally tipped $100 for two drinks pointed out once.

Identically-sized-and-coloured money for all denominations + shitloads of drink and drugs = near disaster for Monty.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:06, Reply)

that would make you an epic cunt
I have a problem with the existence of such a place.

a tip should be a reward for good service, not an expectation for carrying out their job.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:08, Reply)

The true cunt is the bar owner, I suppose.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:10, Reply)

the whole god-damn system's out of order

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:11, Reply)

I just said this below actually

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:12, Reply)

and you are right
the fact that places like that can be run, and that people will actually work there is absurd.

I recall my bro telling me about being in a bar in NY, and their waiter got the hump because he wasn't fast enough about bringing them booze so they had to keep going to the bar to get it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Not if you can take home fuck-loads of money each night.
Bar staff in downtown Manhattan take home a great deal more than Aussies in the West End, I'll be bound.

AND RIGHTLY SO.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:15, Reply)

let's face it
no one is going to tip an Aussie bar man
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Apart from with
'have a fucking bath, then get out of my country before I slay you'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:17, Reply)

nice use of slay there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:18, Reply)

This is true
Not tipping in that situation doesn't make the customer a cunt it makes the person running that establishment exploitative scum of the highest order. If you can't pay your staff a decent wage, then your business has failed, it's that simple.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Actually I'm going to u-turn here.
If the staff can get $200 a night from tips why the fuck would you need to pay them a wage as well?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Becuause I would like to think
that your customers aren't massive retards and would notice that your drinks aren't any cheaper but they have to pay extra to get them, so they'll go to the other bar where the drinks are the same but they don't expect tips and your business just failed.

Sadly it seems that everyone in the US is a retard as this doesn't happen.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:17, Reply)

^very much this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:18, Reply)

so the tipping culture is absurd,
but bar owners making the most of it are just sensible - the only exploiting they're doing is of the system, not the staff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:21, Reply)

Just another another exciting tale in the life and times of Monty and his crime solving Jack Russel cunt eyes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:10, Reply)

That's actually illegal to not pay the staff anything.

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:15, Reply)

What if you give each and every one a damn good rogering at the end of the night?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:16, Reply)

....but if they're taking home shitloads of cash each night
who's going to complain?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Say 'hold on, I've got a tip for you'
then rummage around in your pocket, then say 'don't be thick: then you won't have to get a shitty job delivering groceries'.

Then punch them in the fucking face and slam the door.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Woo!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:03, Reply)

This is the answer to all poverty

As Patrick Bateman would say,"Get a God damned job Al"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:05, Reply)

The actions in this post have been endorsed by me.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Why would you tip?
If your shopping is being delivered by Tesco's in Eastville, Bristol, (Which I doubt it will be) - you'll spend hours questioning why most of the things you've order have been subbed for things you don't want.

Me: Err, you've given me two watermelons I didn't order, why?
Tesco Delivery Monkey: Yeah, that is because we were are out of chicken.

I don't use them anymore.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Yey for Sunday lunch of roast Watermelon!
Moistest of all the Sunday roasts!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Fucking Waitrose for the WIN
seriously, waitrose online is the best thing ever according to my sister.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:13, Reply)

best most expensive

You hand over a kidney in exchange for food some of which could be kidneys, therefore you are better off eating yourself
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:15, Reply)

You're totally and utterly wrong there
Waitrose are in many cases cheaper than Tesco. So *sticks up middle finger* SWIVEL ON THAT!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:19, Reply)

I shall investigate
I do all my shoppimng in my local Sainsbury's which is expensive, but I waste less so cheaper than doing a "big shop". Strange but true.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Sainsburys is much the same in price as Tesco
if not cheaper
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:21, Reply)

I shop at my sainsburys too
as it's five minutes from my door, but if you're doing delivery, Waitrose is the way to go.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:21, Reply)

and much less shit
the same applies to a comparison of Tesco and most other supermarkets.

I like the Tesco in Exeter, it stops all the fucking retards, yokels and peasants from shopping in my Sainsburys
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Best insult of the last 3 months

"She was fat and smelt of Asda!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:22, Reply)

haha superb

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 18:19, Reply)

I cannot shop in Tesco
The proles make me feel ill.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:38, Reply)

Tesco in Eastville is my nearest Tesco. I limit my trips there.
But when I start ordering online I'm going to use Sainsburys. I can hardly wait til I'm too pregnant to go shopping.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Is that the one by the M32
Saturdays were epic in there, i once saw a 60 year old white woman with tattoos of Dr.Dre, Eminema and Xzibit on her pasty wrinkly arms, she was GANSTA!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:18, Reply)

That's the one.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:23, Reply)

And if you see my Mum is there again
Say 'Hello' to her, she has just added a 'Jedward' tatt to the collection.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:33, Reply)

POTD
And it's been a good 'D' and all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:43, Reply)

Eastville for the lose.
But not really unexpected actions. :)
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:18, Reply)

Oral, or anal if everything is particularly well packed

( broadsword, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:58, Reply)