DING
The other day I was sucked in to buying one of those mobile phone sock things. The justification was as it's a touch screen if the screen gets any more scratched it won't work but the truth is I liked the pretty colours.

I just want some random stories about anything to while away the afternoon. Or, if you are one of the lucky peeps going to Cornwall this weekend talk about just how excited you are about getting to meet me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:43, 138 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm not going to cornwall,
I'm also no longer going to the manchester bash.
I've already met you though, so my life is already complete.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Meeting you was a highlight of my life too

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Yay! it means I can act like a tit without you judging me.

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I can judge you from a distance.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Yes but not as thoroughly.

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:49, Reply)

it is terribly exciting

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Sister TGB
Please join me in prayer that the snow does not come to Liverpool.
Thank you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I think people are going to have to donate more
Or snow will engulf the country.

Save yourselves give us your shoes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

DO YOU HEAR HER, PEOPLE???
GIVE HARD!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

somehow it's got to wales :(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:47, Reply)

meet meat
( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:46, Reply)

I am wracked with jealousy.
WRACKED I TELL YOU.

I demand drunken texts throughout the weekend telling me how much everyone loves me.
( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

I'm sure Spak will be happy to do this.

( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I'm sure Spak will be happy to do anything I ask of him which isn't as much fun as the rest of you doing it.

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Awww man. I’m missing out!
This bloomin’ bank holiday wedding better be worth it, the cake better be chocolate and someone hawt better get naked to make it worthwhile!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:51, Reply)

You don't ask for much in life, do you luv?
Can you also pray for me that the snow does not come here and RUINZ our weekend?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Pftt!
You'll be in bed for most of it.
( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I was going to throw in a bit of token touristy action too!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Get him a brochure he can read in bed.

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:56, Reply)

"You could have gone here, here, here and here.
The food there is nice. That club smells of vomit. The views from that tower are breathtaking. The end."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Exactly!

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Not really, I’m quite easily pleased! :)
No worries I will pray that you don’t have snow!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Are you wearing your new red shoes for the wedding?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Oh hells yeah!
They are smokin’ shoes, I wore them around work yesterday to break them in, they are prettyful indeed! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Pics!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I'll have to post some on FB or something
I can't find the link at work... but they are Vivienne Westwood Black shoes with little red bits on the front - they are uber groovy!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:07, Reply)

fancy!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I knows! :D

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:23, Reply)

You're travelling to Cornwall on a bank holiday weekend?
so is...how can I say this?...EVERYONE AND THEIR BASTARD DOG.

You may wish to avoid the M5 and the A30, the Taymar Bridge and Bodmin Moor and dont go anywhere near St Austell because they will be queuing out of the eden project back towards Somerset.

But seriously, prepare for some jams and take a she-wee so you can piss in a bottle.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:54, Reply)

it's not that bad

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I'm going tomorrow
and coming back tuesday because I, how can I say this? ... AM AWARE IT'S A FUCKING BANK HOLIDAY AND PLANNED AROUND IT
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:05, Reply)

it's also never really that bad even in the height of summer
this bank holiday weekend should be reasonably clear
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Don't listen to him TGB
people from Exeter lure unsuspecting travellers who are trying to get to Cornwall into Exeter town centre WHERE THEY ARE NEVER SEEN AGAIN
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Exeter Town centre is confusing, all roads lead back to the middle

and there are trolls under the bridges
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:20, Reply)

it's far less confusing than most cities
you are are obviously an idiot
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:21, Reply)

More accurately my co-driver with the map was an idiot

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:22, Reply)

you shouldn't even need a map
it's one of the few cities I've been to that actually has road signs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Well co-driver should have looked at the signs

i had to avoid all the people pointing at planes
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:25, Reply)

You know you're lost when you see a sign for "City Centre"
and you have no idea what city is it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:25, Reply)

haha
I've never been that badly lost

mostly by virtue of not living somewhere (or going anywhere) that has cities close enough together for that to be an issue
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I have never been this lost

I have the sense of direction of a fucking laser guided homing pigeon
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:27, Reply)

i have been this lost
repeatedly
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Yarr, some say the roads lead to a vengefull dragon
others say it leads to the municipal car-park. Some things man is not supposed to know...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:26, Reply)

OMG - I DID NOT KNOW THIS

( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Well now you know
AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!..."Transformers, row boats in da sky"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:12, Reply)

BADGER!
I may have to call the trip off. Thirty Easters in Cornwall and I didn't even think about this.
I've also been spelling 'Taymar' incorrectly.
*fails at tour guidery*
( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Oh man
I bought Haribo for the trip especially
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Wookiee doesn't do drive snacking :(

( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:40, Reply)

What!?
It's not a proper trip unless there is Haribo

kids and grown ups love it so
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Wookiee is neither kid nor grown up.
Bit like an adult mong, really.
( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I don't understand
he doesn't eat while driving? or being a passenger?

is there more wrong with him than I previously suspected?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:47, Reply)

He's rubbish at eating.
He sometimes goes 24 hours without food because he's not bothered.
He doesn't really snack.
There's more wrong with him that you could ever imagine.
( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:49, Reply)

DOES NOT COMPUTE

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:51, Reply)

He's all wrong
From his molerat head to his duck feet
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:50, Reply)

having seen his profile picture I can only agree with this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:56, Reply)

On;y certain people can say things about him, though.
Everyone else will get their heads kicked in.
( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:02, Reply)

not by him I assume?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:03, Reply)

No
He will insult you tll you cry though.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:04, Reply)

doesn't take much

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:05, Reply)

By his best mate.
She's a right bitch.
( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:25, Reply)

fortunately me and her seem to get on

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Oh shit, I put a 'Y' in Tamar
I can never go back to Cornwall. I once knew someone who spelt Mevagissey incorrectly, it didn't end well.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Inbreeding does a lot for 'tard strength.

( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:19, Reply)

I have a yellow wolverine sock for my blackberry
It's very awesome
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Ooooh wicked
Where did you get that from please please?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:01, Reply)

There is no way you're getting a wolverine sock before I get my transformers bean bag.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Booooo!
You've already got a Fat Boy, what more do you want!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I'm sure married peple are supposed to argue about more boring stuff than this
But keep up the good work, kids...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:23, Reply)

*nods head*
Move along, nothing to see here!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Tuff-Luv do some awful socks.
I might get one if I ever get a touchscreen phone.

Aw no. Just been on the site and they don't do them no more! Just the netbook ones.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:04, Reply)

hmm...I think we all know I won't be going to Cornwall...
but I'm well jealous, sounds like fun, even though I have no idea what's going on
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Probably just the normal things that go on in Cornwall
Incest...being rude to outsiders..."Darkie Day"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Ugly people touching each other

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:08, Reply)

so I'd fit in just fine?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:09, Reply)

That depends can you get really drunk and are you really horny?
If the answer to those two questions is yes, you'll fit in fine.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Oh yay - are you and ym coming then?

( thealternativefact, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:10, Reply)

My crippling asbergers stops me from touching people.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Apart from the pretty ladies obviously.

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:15, Reply)

That's true, the criminal justice system stops me touching them.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:16, Reply)

the criminal justice system their boyfriends.
( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:18, Reply)

That has been the case more than once.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:19, Reply)

This could be the fundamental flaw in your woman ensnaring technique

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:19, Reply)

I think his face and his personality cause more problems

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:20, Reply)

How about the micro penis, could that be a factor

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Do you tell women the size of your cock while you're chatting them up?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I don't chat women up, i have one already

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I'm very impressed.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:31, Reply)

(!)

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Doesn't stop some guys.

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Or girls

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I just looked at the guest list.
It's actually not too bad on the ugly stakes, too many beards though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:16, Reply)

face or fanny?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Fanny please.
Given the choice.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Sorry all the fannys are gone
you may only have a face beard to play with.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:54, Reply)

i crocheted a case for my ipod
it has tentacles and everything
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:48, Reply)

POIDH
Also I want one. But I don't have an ipod I have a sony walkman.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I never got round to putting eyes on it and it's a bit tatty now...

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Rar!
It's like it's nommed your ipod.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:03, Reply)

up2.it/ali/Jewellery/tophat+cthulu+front+small.jpg
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:13, Reply)

I also do eyeballs
up2.it/ali/eyeball1_small.jpg
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:19, Reply)

That's a work of art
your hairbrush is a bit icky though
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:11, Reply)

ha
And who said men weren't observant
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:14, Reply)

My eyes were drawn to it
at least it's not short and curly hair *boakes*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:19, Reply)

i don't have a pube brush

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Yeah, that would be a crazy thing to have
*looks side to side nervously*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Is it like one of the afro combs that poeple just to keep in their hair?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Yup, if I sit down too quickly I do a Ritchie Valens impression
Big girls don't cry
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:27, Reply)

You die in a plane crash alongside The Big Bopper?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Ere, that was Frankie Valli!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:55, Reply)

brushing my hair involves a lot of untangling

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Do you do that thing where you sweep all your hair over your face and comb it
because that shits me right up (due to "The Ring")
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:21, Reply)

haha
sometimes, but I look more Cousin It than anything else
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Ha! I'm more Uncle Fester hair-wise
i'm not bald, but every now and then I shave it all off for that "Psycho Accountant" look.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I'm looking forward to the 9th
Another Manc bash, woo!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:16, Reply)

I'm not coming anymore.
So you might as well not bother.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Am going to the London bash
am going to try and persuade the one b3tan I know in RL to come with me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I wish I was going to Caaarnwaaaall
but I'm sure seeing the awe-inspiring King of the Surf Guitar on Saturday night will cheer me up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:42, Reply)

pfft
Dick Dale. He's no me is he?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Hence the tickets actually cost money.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:45, Reply)

charming
I'll have you know that at least half of our gigs cost at least £1 to get in
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Haha in my old band
we only once made it above the £1 ticket level - the giddy heights of £2 at the Winchester Art School S.U.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:49, Reply)

we've climbed to huge heights of £5 a ticket to see 3 "acts"
can't really call them all bands, or even music.

I'm still kind of bemused that we get paid far more often than not
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:51, Reply)

We were usually paid in LSD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:52, Reply)

I prefer money

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:58, Reply)

we would have and all, given the choice

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 17:13, Reply)

But was this pre-decimalisation?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Yes.
Once we got past the '2 cows and your first born son' bartering system we never looked back.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Jack Johnson?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Are you baiting Monty?
can I join in?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:45, Reply)

are you 'bating, Draccy?
If so, stop it, you'll go blind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:51, Reply)

He's 'King of the D-Wing Nonces' isn't he?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:46, Reply)

*shudder*
his 'music' was played non stop in the bookshop I worked in. Closest I've got to killing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Supported by Scouting for Girls

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:51, Reply)

god they're shit

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:52, Reply)

More than shit

simple music for simpletons
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I'm glad you lot are not slagging off Robert Johnson
Because if you were...

I'd be mortified.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 17:17, Reply)

No one would do that though would they?
Surely no-one is that retarded?

I'm a huge Skip James fan too. He was brilliant. And JB Lenoir.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 17:22, Reply)