I joined E- harmony.
Only 7 fucking matches although one was very nice.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:58, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How much that set you back?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Too fucking much for 7 matches.
But this one guy is really nice although he lives in London. He's 6ft of loveliness. Loads of bloody questions though. It took me an hour to answer them all.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:05, Reply)

Ooh

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:09, Reply)

Sounds like he might be a nutter
RUN
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)

Not his questions silly.

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:15, Reply)

Oh, I see
I tried e-harmony too once, I got 0 matches, so decided that the women on there must all be an absolute shower of cunts
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)

or that you are unloveable?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)

I'm so fucking loveable
I make Orville the duck look like Peter Sutcliffe
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:27, Reply)

seventeen consecutive life sentences of...
HUGS!!!!
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:30, Reply)

You must be stranger than me then me then. *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:27, Reply)

CAN I JUST TELL YOU
I went to a beer fest on saturday and was walking around with my friends when this guy was like "HEEEEEY" all cheery when I walked past with his arms spread open so I'm thinking 'I know this guy, who is he again?!' and lean in to hug him.
Turns out I didn't know him, he'd been doing that to different girls all day long.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:43, Reply)

Haha!
Got to give him 10/10 for ingenuity.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:48, Reply)

I know I was like hell I oughta try that myself

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:51, Reply)

eventually he'll find someone
who will marry out of embarrassment rather than ask "sorry, I don't think we've met"
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:53, Reply)

haha

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:56, Reply)

cheeky bugger

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:48, Reply)

I love the word cheeky
it makes me smile
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Me too.
A glint in the eye and a cheeky grin.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:53, Reply)

I cant help it. I'm half cockney

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:54, Reply)

Is it in less common usage over your way?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:54, Reply)

yeah, it's basically never used
but it's like a special treat when I see it being used here
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:56, Reply)

go go go go goooo!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)

Try OKcupid
its the free one.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:04, Reply)

I'm after a relationship and not a bonk.

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:06, Reply)

Seems to work for that, too
my mate met his fiancee on there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)

Ere, speaking of dating, how's it going with the cute geek
how's it going with the cute geek?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:08, Reply)

pretty good :)
saw him last weekend again - main issue is he lives 80 miles away
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)

80? Piece of cake.
Mine's 200 miles away.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:13, Reply)

stupid time and space
have you invented a point-to-point transporter yet? It seems like the only option
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:16, Reply)

That would be simpler than relying on the trains

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:17, Reply)

although I do have a theory...
The faster the mode of transport, the longer the preparation time.

Walking = minimal preparation, Aeroplanes = long queues, much preparation, therefore point-to-point transportation = start queuing now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:21, Reply)

But you will arrive beofre you left so thats ok

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)

I haven't
But I'm getting a National Railcard and an Oystercard.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:21, Reply)

Mine was a lot more and I coped.
Although he seemed to have had a problem with it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:16, Reply)

long time between shags, though

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:38, Reply)

Love conquers all.
Then I found out he loves himself more.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:44, Reply)

that's pretty shit
should have tried match.com because they have awesome advertising.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:08, Reply)

I did.

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:09, Reply)

anything I can do to help?
I have strange and eerie powers
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:11, Reply)

Find me someone honest, funny and sexy.

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:14, Reply)

;D

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:25, Reply)

You are aware I'm nearly 45?

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:36, Reply)

You are aware that I'm
Hard-up?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:39, Reply)

Smooth.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:40, Reply)

Like Roger Moore smothered in Veet and baby oil

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:50, Reply)

*laughs*
You are aware that I'm old but still fussy.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:41, Reply)

Oi! I said hard-up, not ugly!
I'm just too busy to be going around looking for girlfriends or relationships right now
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:47, Reply)

Yeah right.
It's cause I'm old innit?
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:49, Reply)

Eh?
I wasn't rejecting you, I'll be your boyfriend if you like, just as long as I don't actually have to DO anything
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:54, Reply)

Yeah !!!!!!!!!
I have a boyfriend.


When can we get naked?
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:57, Reply)

it's all so very romantic
awww
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:01, Reply)

I think I'm in love

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:02, Reply)

Steady on, I haven't even squirted semen up your sluicepipe yet

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:17, Reply)

I have a good feeling about you.

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:21, Reply)

I've been naked the whole time

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:13, Reply)

So have I.
*grins*
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:14, Reply)

I know
;)
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:20, Reply)

*steps up*
Hello!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:30, Reply)

Hello lovely : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:37, Reply)

I tried the internet dating thing a few months ago
the girls I met were pretty cool, but it didn't really work out with any of them. What surprised me though, was their shock at meeting an ordinary guy from the internet, and the things they told me about the kinds of guys and messages they got was bewildering
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:10, Reply)

You have no idea.
The few guys who contacted me must have been reading the wrong profile. They were totally unsuitable. I got quite depressed about it but I thought I'd give it one last try.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)

Define unsuitable?
Not your type or craigslist material?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:16, Reply)

No common interests and hated tattoos and peircings.

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:19, Reply)

Waht are you main interests then?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:22, Reply)

I just want someone funny, honest and open minded.
Is that too much to ask?
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)

Apparently,
keep trying.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:24, Reply)

I'm giving it till the end of the year.
Then I'm having my clitoris surgically removed and joining the Women's Guild.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:43, Reply)

Its till better than
giving up on having standards
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:45, Reply)

You are totally incorrect
Having standards is a major factor in perpetual loneliness
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:58, Reply)

: (
It's a cross I have to bear.
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:00, Reply)

I HAVE TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS!
*smooshes*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:22, Reply)

You have a lovely husband you lucky girl.

( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:24, Reply)

Yeah, but the blood, sweat & tears it took to get this far......
'twasn't always a bed of roses, nor is it now. Fucking real life bastarding hurdles getting in the way and all that jizz. He is a goodun though ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:34, Reply)

I'm taking that as a compliment.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 May 2010, 21:55, Reply)

As you like.....
;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:52, Reply)

my best one was from a guy
who offered to massage my feet with his 'member'

I think it would be less creepy if he'd said 'cock'
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:13, Reply)

Member!
Brilliant!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:14, Reply)

The first girl I met told me about a guy whose opening gambit
Was to ask if she was a virgin.
...And another bloke who tried to be all aloof and disinterested in her. 'How do you do that on the internet?' you might ask, by repeatedly sending blank messages, of course.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:20, Reply)

sounds like a real people person

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:28, Reply)