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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Rather quiet this evening
or is everyone just too shy to start a new thread?

I went for a swim earlier, then cooked turkey kofta korma, which was nice.

Now I'm listening to Sparks vs Faith No More - This town ain't big enough for the both of us

what are you up to?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:35, 125 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Drinking wine
Watching Have I Got A Bit More News For You from Saturday(?).
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:38, Reply)
That sounds quite awesome.
The Sparks-FNM thing that is.

Just got in from a meeting, about to eat dinner and then give SJ's girlfriend a lift home,
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 May 2010, 20:38, Reply)
it is
check it out

now though it is time to catch up with Lost from while I was on holiday!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:42, Reply)
Oh, that's right.
Stick a post up then fuck off and watch telly!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 May 2010, 20:47, Reply)
He's just trying to keep us wanting
He'll be back when we least expect it and sweep us off our feet with his smug beardy guitar strumming
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:53, Reply)
that is true

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:07, Reply)
trying to figure out this stupid farmville shit
and making tea
lovely lovely tea
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:41, Reply)
No! No!
Stay far from farmville (or any other facebook game)

They consume a lot of time and annoy all your friends.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 20:53, Reply)
I NO!
*sad faces*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:24, Reply)
ACTUALLY
Fish World is my favorite because I get to watch my great white sharks eat my other fish
it's like the highlight of my day
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:29, Reply)
You just reminded me
I have to put up my new pictures of the lake district up on facebook
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:32, Reply)
Search for
cracked.com 5 creepy ways video games are trying to get you addicted. Very eye-opening.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:36, Reply)
geek crack :[

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:41, Reply)
yay! That tune is cool
mostly I was napping, now I should be doing useful things, like working out which plug is attached to the printer
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:47, Reply)
I finally got the courage
and posted a long story in qotw.

I´m very proud of myself, even if the story is rubbish. It was bloody hard to find all those words!

I´m now preparing tea for the bf, who is coming in 15 min and I think he´ll need a beer.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 20:52, Reply)
Has she gone then?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:00, Reply)
Watching the daily show with jon stewart
I like that it's informative and amusing. For instance, I didn't know that in the event of a hung parliament the queen's corgi, Winston Furchill becomes interim prime minister
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:57, Reply)
I joined E- harmony.
Only 7 fucking matches although one was very nice.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:58, Reply)
How much that set you back?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:01, Reply)
Too fucking much for 7 matches.
But this one guy is really nice although he lives in London. He's 6ft of loveliness. Loads of bloody questions though. It took me an hour to answer them all.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:05, Reply)
Ooh

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:09, Reply)
Sounds like he might be a nutter
RUN
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)
Not his questions silly.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:15, Reply)
Oh, I see
I tried e-harmony too once, I got 0 matches, so decided that the women on there must all be an absolute shower of cunts
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)
or that you are unloveable?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)
I'm so fucking loveable
I make Orville the duck look like Peter Sutcliffe
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:27, Reply)
seventeen consecutive life sentences of...
HUGS!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:30, Reply)
You must be stranger than me then me then. *laughs*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:27, Reply)
CAN I JUST TELL YOU
I went to a beer fest on saturday and was walking around with my friends when this guy was like "HEEEEEY" all cheery when I walked past with his arms spread open so I'm thinking 'I know this guy, who is he again?!' and lean in to hug him.
Turns out I didn't know him, he'd been doing that to different girls all day long.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:43, Reply)
Haha!
Got to give him 10/10 for ingenuity.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:48, Reply)
I know I was like hell I oughta try that myself

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:51, Reply)
eventually he'll find someone
who will marry out of embarrassment rather than ask "sorry, I don't think we've met"
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:53, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:56, Reply)
cheeky bugger

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:48, Reply)
I love the word cheeky
it makes me smile
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:52, Reply)
Me too.
A glint in the eye and a cheeky grin.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:53, Reply)
I cant help it. I'm half cockney

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:54, Reply)
Is it in less common usage over your way?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:54, Reply)
yeah, it's basically never used
but it's like a special treat when I see it being used here
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:56, Reply)
go go go go goooo!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)
Try OKcupid
its the free one.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:04, Reply)
I'm after a relationship and not a bonk.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:06, Reply)
Seems to work for that, too
my mate met his fiancee on there
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)
Ere, speaking of dating, how's it going with the cute geek
how's it going with the cute geek?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:08, Reply)
pretty good :)
saw him last weekend again - main issue is he lives 80 miles away
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)
80? Piece of cake.
Mine's 200 miles away.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:13, Reply)
stupid time and space
have you invented a point-to-point transporter yet? It seems like the only option
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:16, Reply)
That would be simpler than relying on the trains

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:17, Reply)
although I do have a theory...
The faster the mode of transport, the longer the preparation time.

Walking = minimal preparation, Aeroplanes = long queues, much preparation, therefore point-to-point transportation = start queuing now
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:21, Reply)
But you will arrive beofre you left so thats ok

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)
I haven't
But I'm getting a National Railcard and an Oystercard.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:21, Reply)
Mine was a lot more and I coped.
Although he seemed to have had a problem with it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:16, Reply)
long time between shags, though

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:38, Reply)
Love conquers all.
Then I found out he loves himself more.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:44, Reply)
that's pretty shit
should have tried match.com because they have awesome advertising.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:08, Reply)
I did.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:09, Reply)
anything I can do to help?
I have strange and eerie powers
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:11, Reply)
Find me someone honest, funny and sexy.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:14, Reply)
;D

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:25, Reply)
You are aware I'm nearly 45?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:36, Reply)
You are aware that I'm
Hard-up?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:39, Reply)
Smooth.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:40, Reply)
Like Roger Moore smothered in Veet and baby oil

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:50, Reply)
*laughs*
You are aware that I'm old but still fussy.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:41, Reply)
Oi! I said hard-up, not ugly!
I'm just too busy to be going around looking for girlfriends or relationships right now
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:47, Reply)
Yeah right.
It's cause I'm old innit?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:49, Reply)
Eh?
I wasn't rejecting you, I'll be your boyfriend if you like, just as long as I don't actually have to DO anything
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:54, Reply)
Yeah !!!!!!!!!
I have a boyfriend.


When can we get naked?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:57, Reply)
it's all so very romantic
awww
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:01, Reply)
I think I'm in love

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:02, Reply)
Steady on, I haven't even squirted semen up your sluicepipe yet

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:17, Reply)
I have a good feeling about you.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:21, Reply)
I've been naked the whole time

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:13, Reply)
So have I.
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:14, Reply)
I know
;)
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:20, Reply)
*steps up*
Hello!
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:30, Reply)
Hello lovely : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:37, Reply)
I tried the internet dating thing a few months ago
the girls I met were pretty cool, but it didn't really work out with any of them. What surprised me though, was their shock at meeting an ordinary guy from the internet, and the things they told me about the kinds of guys and messages they got was bewildering
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:10, Reply)
You have no idea.
The few guys who contacted me must have been reading the wrong profile. They were totally unsuitable. I got quite depressed about it but I thought I'd give it one last try.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:12, Reply)
Define unsuitable?
Not your type or craigslist material?
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:16, Reply)
No common interests and hated tattoos and peircings.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:19, Reply)
Waht are you main interests then?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:22, Reply)
I just want someone funny, honest and open minded.
Is that too much to ask?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)
Apparently,
keep trying.
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:24, Reply)
I'm giving it till the end of the year.
Then I'm having my clitoris surgically removed and joining the Women's Guild.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:43, Reply)
Its till better than
giving up on having standards
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:45, Reply)
You are totally incorrect
Having standards is a major factor in perpetual loneliness
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:58, Reply)
: (
It's a cross I have to bear.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:00, Reply)
I HAVE TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS!
*smooshes*
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:22, Reply)
You have a lovely husband you lucky girl.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:24, Reply)
Yeah, but the blood, sweat & tears it took to get this far......
'twasn't always a bed of roses, nor is it now. Fucking real life bastarding hurdles getting in the way and all that jizz. He is a goodun though ;o)
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:34, Reply)
I'm taking that as a compliment.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 May 2010, 21:55, Reply)
As you like.....
;o)
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:52, Reply)
my best one was from a guy
who offered to massage my feet with his 'member'

I think it would be less creepy if he'd said 'cock'
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:13, Reply)
Member!
Brilliant!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:14, Reply)
The first girl I met told me about a guy whose opening gambit
Was to ask if she was a virgin.
...And another bloke who tried to be all aloof and disinterested in her. 'How do you do that on the internet?' you might ask, by repeatedly sending blank messages, of course.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:20, Reply)
sounds like a real people person

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:28, Reply)
Yes
I'm very shy
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:01, Reply)
I've noticed that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:07, Reply)
*blushes*

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:09, Reply)
Listening to The Horrors.
Just got some new records, going to have a mix in a bit.

Alright?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:11, Reply)
Pulp- cocaine socialism

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:13, Reply)
I was checking to see
if anyone had bid on any of the 13 things I am selling on ebay.

No, a guided tour of my vagina is not one of them
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:33, Reply)
Audio tour?

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:35, Reply)
No
Spak did the reading for it and people kept throwing up in there
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:36, Reply)
oh well,
I got outbid on a teasmaid the other day
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:38, Reply)
That coupled with your sig is priceless

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:41, Reply)
the expresso machine that I keep on a timer switch next my bed broke from overuse.

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:43, Reply)
From people having to drink a lot to keep them awake
during sex with you?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:44, Reply)
I'm not a morning person

(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:48, Reply)
clicking this :o)

(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:44, Reply)
BADGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O)
Fookin mint to see you bonny lass - how's da wheels man?
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:36, Reply)
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mY WHEELZ ARE AWESOMEZ INNIT.

But life in general is shit and busy but oh my god there is a bash next month and I am like so totally excited. yay.
How's you and Pa?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:38, Reply)
*rubs thighs*
Ringin' you now babe :o)
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:42, Reply)
Oh crap I dunno where my phone is
*runs around house*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:43, Reply)
RUN, BADGER, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll go in teh bike shed - give you a chance to find ur dog 'n' BONE innit ;o)
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:48, Reply)
God! I can't wait till I see you all again.
Who needs sex when you have your B3ta buddies there to cheer you up.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:52, Reply)
She's still not in the bike shed.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 May 2010, 21:57, Reply)
God I love your wife.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:01, Reply)
She's there now.
I think it took about six minutes in total.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 May 2010, 22:04, Reply)
Actually, more like 12.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 May 2010, 22:05, Reply)
I fookin love you too honey!
Moar than you will ever know....
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:42, Reply)

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