THINGS THAT WORK THAT SHOULDN'T
- Electro-swing
- Men in drag
- Cherry cigarettes

THE OPPOSITE
- Lampito

What makes you tingly that should leave you cold? And what seems like a brilliant idea, only to execute it and it ends up a disaster?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 10:59, 123 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mint shower gel makes me tingly AND cold
Failed:

Making a fish finger sandwich with breaded cod fillets instead of fish fingers. I thought it would work in the same way that a quarter-pounder burger is better than a thin burger. It didn't, too much fish.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I don't like the mint shower gels
It itches in places that shouldn't itch
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Like being rogered with the itchy end of a marrow?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I haven't tried that
But I suspect I wouldn't like it either.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I fucking love mint shower gel
I've exclusively used the mint and teatree one for years now. Lovely stuff.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:11, Reply)

^ this
It's great stuff. Just wish I could find the plain mint one more often. And that Urban Decay still did that mint shampoo
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

still thoroughly enjoying Gateway
gave me another dream last night. basically the same as the first one. Unusual though. don't often have dreams affected by what I've been reading.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

That is quite unusual
I had a dream about Gateway (back when I read it, not now- that would be even weirder) so maybe it is fairly intense.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I once had a dream telling me the end of a book
Maybe there were subtle hints pointing towards the ending, and I didn't realise- but my brain did.

Silly spoiler-brain.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I thought you meant the down-market supermarket chain for a moment, there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Or the computer makers

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:27, Reply)

No, I didn't think that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I did
I loved the cow-print boxes.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:30, Reply)

it's a book
70s sci fi. really very good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Original Source?
I use that stuff, it's great! Makes cycling in the wind moments after rather cold though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

yeah
I've used the shave gel as well. that really makes your face freeze.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Same here
I used to bic my head using it. That was exhilarating!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I bet that was great :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

It made me feel alive!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

When you said 'Bic'
I thought for a minute you meant a cheap biro.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I'm a guy
It leaves a nice tingle, no itching.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:11, Reply)

No, it's not tingling
It's proper WTF!!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)

You're not supposed to squeeze the tube up inside yourself

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Oh, but then it's not fun

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)

You can get dildos that simulate ejaculation
Probably safer for you, just don't fill them up with bleach.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I don't see why I would want one of those
One things about dildos is that they're not messy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Well there's obviously a market for them
I'm no expert :p
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:25, Reply)

no Europe's leading
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:13, Reply)

It's just a little too uncomfortable
I've got sensitive skin.

Tried it once, never again.
*crosses legs*
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Yep, I'm doing the same.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Lies!
Simply use thicker bread. And add horseradish.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Making our own beer was a great idea
Siphoning a few pints into a bottle to mature with a scotch bonnet chilli...well, I liked it, but my flatmate is still sceptical. Still wouldn't call it a disaster, though. Must try harder.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

O_O
I do enjoy a bit of chilli, but I wouldn't necessarily try and drink one.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I think it's one of those drinks
that you crack open after you've already had a few - as long as you've had something to numb your senses (mainly taste, smell and common).

I feel as though I have a challenge ahead of me - this one, we made with just a scotch bonnet, but I was given a bottle of ale made by some proper brewers which contains naga bih jolokia. "Black Death," they call it. I don't know whether I should be afraid.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Be VERY afraid.
Oh, and alcoholic drinks that work but shouldn't: gin and ginger beer, Long Island Iced Tea.

Why does the latter not taste alcoholic? It's mad!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I love long island iced tea
it's my favourite cocktail after the Screaming Blue Motherfucker
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Gin slings are lovely.
I've not had cocktails in a while.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

try a Screaming Blue Motherfucker
it will fuck you up, but it tastes good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:28, Reply)

What's in it?
anything that gets me fucked is good.
/irresponsible attitude to alcohol and drugs
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

vodka, gin, triple sec, blue curacao and ice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I'm on that shit
we have the blue curacao, for Green Creatures.

Vodka, orange juice, blue curacao, Smirnoff Ice for mixer.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:37, Reply)

that sounds nice
if you don't have triple sec btw, just use twice as much blue curacao
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Mojitos, Long Island Iced Tea
anything that doesn't taste alcoholic (and preferably has mint in it.)

Alcohol that shouldn't work but does: Brandy Alexanders, Baileys and vodka
Alcohol that should work but doesn't: whisky and soda. Disgusting
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Gin and ginger beer?
You are joking, aren't you? Well, I shouldn't knock it 'til I've tried it.

Mind you, I do know someone who orders Tia Maria and Orange Juice when we go to the pub...apparently on the grounds that "it tastes like chocolate orange."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

It's incredible. Seriously incredible.
Gin and coke...not so great.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

gin and orange is nice
I'll give gin and ginger beer a go. I was disappointed by rum and ginger beer. something with a quality name such as Dark and Stormy should taste better.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I was quite fucked when I first had it
but on later samplings it's not too bad at all.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

only had it once
drunken night of going through the dusty bottles in the college bar, drinking everything that obviously hadn't been touched in years. Ended up with about £1.50, asked if I could get 2 drinks for that and got given rum and gingerbeer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Gin and Red Bull is surprisingly good

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Will try some point soon.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Things that work and shouldn't:
Foie-grass on sweet biscuits.
Geeky guys.
Yogur (no idea of sp, so that's in Spanish) and honey or jam.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)

foie-gras is amazing stuff
I've said it before, but I'd happily stuff a goose to death myself if it meant I got to eat its delicious liver.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

That's cruel
But true. It's soooo good.

Have you ever been to the AHH!! I can't remember the name!! I'll tell you later. It's a fantastic pub in one of the canals in Manchester, a bit like a boat, and they have different cheeses and fantastic foie-gras to go with your beer (cask or shit, as you prefer)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I've never been to Manchester
so it is a safe bet I've not been to the pub ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Oh, you must visit, then
We'll show you the good places.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Isn't the gay quarter
By the canals?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)

YEAHHHHHHHHHHH
/ac


I guess the canals are quite long.
Canal Street is the gay quarter. It's next to the canals.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Thought so
Went to a night there once with a few friends (two gay, two straight). It was alright, apart from one guy not taking no for an answer.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I love Canal Street
I love 5th more.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

C Street
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Have I told OT the 3 things I'll never do?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Let me guess
Give to charity, exercise restraint and sleep with Sexface again?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)

FFS I'M NOT THE ONLY B3TAN-FUCKER
No, they're:

Smack, crack, and anal.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:32, Reply)

No, there are many b3tan-fuckers
I am not one of them, but I don't judge them any less.

Apart from those who sleep with SF ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:35, Reply)

:(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:36, Reply)

My 3 would be
Drugs (broadly encompassing anything illegal)
Cigarettes
Men
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Think anal sex was on the list vaugely

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Well remembered.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

It's on most people's lists
If they're close-minded.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I'm not closed-minded
I don't find it sexually appealing in the slightest.

I can understand male anal, they have a "sweet spot" as it were. I just don't like the thought of anything going UP my arse.
Especially not the itchy end of a marrow
/preempting Crow
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Fairy muff
And I doubt anyone other than Crow likes marrows up there, itchy or otherwise.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

The massive bumder

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:39, Reply)

She'd be in the right place for it then
If she were a bloke.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Sorry about that mate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:30, Reply)

No, no
It's a bit far from the centre, maybe 10 min walk.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Sorry, I thought you were trying to locate the pub
I found it: Mark Addy. Fantastic:

markaddy.co.uk/
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Ooo, lah-dee-da
Foie-gras is it? On your croissant? Smug cunt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

it was on a small piece of fried bread last time
with seared pigeon breast, and celeriac puree. couple of other things that I don't recall.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)

All I heard was "I'm better than you"
And it made me sad.

j/k, that actually sounds lovely!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:18, Reply)

it was
I followed it up with a fillet steak, with thyme and bacon mashed potato.

fuck that was a good meal
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Yogurt and honey is fantastic
with almonds on top. YEAH.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Mmmm
And chocolate sprinkles.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I love it with oats in
nom.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Masturbation.
For both questions.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Is that your reply to everything I ask?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Masturbation.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:16, Reply)

You wanker.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Well spotted.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Second question - dating.
First question - garlic bread.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Well, not always
Sometimes you know it's not going to work before even trying.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Same :(
Everyone I'm attracted to is attracted to my hotter friends, or quite patently gay and I didn't notice.

Latter one: C.F. Lush guy who compared wearing a certain facemask to feeling like a character from Wicked. We swapped skincare tips :'(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Chips
and custard. Yes, I was drunk, no I'm not pregnant, and bizarrely, yes, they really did work together.
(berk, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Fish fingers and custard, anyone?
That's the new Doctor's favourite food. I've never tried it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Things that work
-coffee and peppermint together (if you're around Kitty that would definitely be an amazing cupcake)
-Top Gun
- Curry

Things that don't
-currently my conscience
- my tidying skills
- Ian Hislop and Paul Merton on the same team
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I added that to my list last night!
I've found a recipe for peppermint frosting so I'm going to give it a try this weekend and see what it's like :D
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:21, Reply)

aww fantastic
hope it comes out well. It will make me want to be in Manchester though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:22, Reply)

everyone wants to be in Manchester
There are 16 worse places to live in Britain.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Manchester's fuckin' brilliant.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

everyone but me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:34, Reply)

and me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Manchester,
officially worse than Milton Keynes.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Moccachino
I love coffee. I love hot chocolate. Surely hot chocolate with a coffee kick should be awesome. But it just tastes like sickly coffee or bitter hot chocolate.

Bleurgh.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I fucking LOVE mochas!
You're obviously wrong.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:22, Reply)

it's a sickening union and you know it.
My friends who worked in a coffee bar went through a phase of drinking coke-accinos, literally espresso mixed with coke. It was disgusting. Coffee should never, NEVER be fizzy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

That sounds horrific
I drink mocha when I want something longer than an espresso.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I drink lattes for that
Although the boys at the coffee shop make me say it in their stupid northern accent before they'll serve me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Its terrifically gay name should have served as a warning.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I could never order anything with such a stupid name.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:27, Reply)

you've probably never had a
knickerbockerglory then.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

You are correct.
Is it like tromboning?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Nearly
but with sprinkles
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:03, Reply)

COFFEE SHOULD NOT BE SWEET

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I agree
just less vehemently it would appear.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:30, Reply)

If only there was a button that made text bigger than caps.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Absolutely, coffee should be black and strong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:53, Reply)

MASSIVE DRUGS
make me tingly but should leave me cold. Cold and DEAD.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Strawberrys and vinegar
I know, it sounds disgusting, but it's the best thing in the world.

Get a big bol and fill it with strawberrys cut in half. Add 1 or 2 desert spoons (soup spoons for me) of vinegar (normal one, no balsamic or anything) and plenty of sugar. Put in the fridge for at least a couple of hours.

Gorgeus.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 18 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I have eaten a salad
with a raspberry and balsamic dressing. It was OK - but salad makes me want to kill myself so with that in mind the dressing must have been pretty good.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

strawberrys and balsamic vinegar are the shiznit
particularly if mixed with whipped cream and meringue

I'm not usually a dessert sort of person,
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Omelette sandwich with brown sauce
Shouldn't work, but it's magnificent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Swimming in the sea when hungover
reeeally shouldn't work. But it is the single greatest hangover cure, even more so than sleep/fry-up/water/sleep

I think it's the extreme cold that shocks your body into a wtf survival response.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

surfing with a hangover is magnificent
the transition from just about to vomit to riding a wave is like nothing else
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I once had camenbert ice-cream
with a spinach and lardon salad. Still one of the best things that has ever been in my mouth, second only to John Craven's nutsack.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:52, Reply)