My mum insists that an hours sleep before midnight is worth two hours of after midnight sleep.

Alt: Cuntybollocks. Just for the amusement of making esteemed scientists and newsreaders say it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:36, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've heard that before,
does something happen at midnight that makes time zoom forward? Is it the same thing that affects gremlins?

It always annoyed me in Gremlins how they said you couldn't feed them after midnight, but it didn't specify when it was then ok to feed them, because technically all time is after midnight.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

I think it was just a ploy to make me go to bed earlier.
Everything that is ever wrong with me is always down to either
a)Not getting enough sleep or
b)Not drinking enough water
according to mother.

I always wondered that. Perhaps sunrise?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

If they wanted you to go to bed
surely they just put a man in your bed and you were there like a shot?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

eyyyyyy
*Double Fonzy Thumbs Up*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Your logic is flawed.
1) I was probably about 11. I had no interest in boys whatsoever til I was 16.
2) It would only work with certain men.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Your post is a lie
1) you've loved cock since you came out of the womb
2) It would work even if said man had just died, as long as he had an elastic band round his cock.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I would hate to be found dead with an elastic band around my cock
There's no good explanation for that, plus, you're dead.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

There are worse things to be found with around your cock when your dead.

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Applebite?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

:(

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Aww, I kid, I just had to go with the setup

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:52, Reply)

That's ok,
I just called you a woman further up.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I noticed.
We cool now?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Yeah, alright
*offers hand for shaking*
*whips hand away at last minute*
Oooo, too slow
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Oh, it's like that is it?
I'm sorta bluffing, I can't be all that nasty. You fuck emo guys, so I guess you're punishing yourself enough.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Haha yeah
It's a terrible burden I've chosen to bear.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I just want to shave the heads of most emo boys
And tell them it's not cool to wear cardigans or neon.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I'm not talking the super emo here,
A nice little fringe, some skinny jeans and a check shirt is all that's needed.

I have no desire to shag an old man or a highlighter.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Skinny jeans don't fit real men who have real muscular thighs
And check shirts are for lumberjacks.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I wore check shirts before they were fashionable.
Proper flannel lumberjack ones. In fact, I've got one on right now.

And I'm not really a fan of lots of muscle.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Nor am I
But my legs are a little developed from cycling. I tried on some trousers in Blue Banana, and couldn't fit my fucking legs in them. Stupid emos.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

I'm also wearing a bandana,
I am that cool.

Haha, unlucky. I can't wear skinny jeans, I look like I'm tottering round on pins.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I don't consider it unlucky
It means I don't look like I've got golfclubs for legs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Fuck you.
Cardigans are awesome.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

No, they're really not
That cunt from Gavin and Stacey wears one.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Rob Brydon?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:20, Reply)

No, the other one, Gavin
Him and the fatty star in that film Lesbian Vampire Killers, which is utter toss, despite having lovely lezzy ladies.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:22, Reply)

it was pretty bad
although it did have some amusing bits.

Matt Corden? Or is it James Corden? James is the fat one. Anyway...
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Yeah, them
Cardigan-wearing, unfunny cuntholes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:32, Reply)

MY cardigans are awesome.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Yuk! Even I wouldn't stoop to necrophilia, even if it was Jensen Ackles.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

You would if they were still warm.
You would view it as a shame to waste it.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I would not!
You all overestimate me terribly.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:52, Reply)

overestimate me know I like to have sex with

+ badly dressed emo kids
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Curses!
I cannot dispute truths like this.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Just waiting for Psychochomp to buy a cardigan now

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Hehe this!
Or a check shirt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I own both,
I don't like them.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:25, Reply)

The sacrifices one makes to get a bite at that apple, eh?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I don't see why everyone assumes I'm desperate to impress her.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Because it's a cheap laugh?
That's why I do it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I think it's like TGB's vag
it started out as one comment and then got carried on.

It's like a Psychochomp hearts Applebite mini meme
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I think its sweet

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:30, Reply)

That wasn't what I expected you to say.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

If it means you wont be slobbering on me whenever I see you in public, then yes I mean it

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Does this mean I should wear a raincoat to the bash then?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Preferably not just that
But it is advisable.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Layers. Lots and lots of layers.
All waterproof.


And jizz proof.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Look as ugly as you can when he approaches. This advice will stand you in good stead.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Right.
I'll do my very best.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:00, Reply)

that's more the sort of thing.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:55, Reply)

ooh wordplay!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I was in two minds as to whether it was cunning word play
Or pure shit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:31, Reply)

cunning
in a so bad it's good way
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:33, Reply)

You're too kind

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

well I guess
Dean (not Jensen Ackles obviously) is technically dead so that's probably necrophilia
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:52, Reply)

there's some truth in that because of the hormone levels and stuff,
but it's no where near twice as good.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)