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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I just responded to a Star Wars-themed text from a female friend
by asking her if she made a habit of showing off her small thermal exhaust port, right above the main port, and she LAUGHED

What have you done today which has made you immensely proud despite being unbelievably tragic?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:43, 106 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
your mum

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)
best use of this response ever

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:52, Reply)
I made a joke about Derrick Bird my status update.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)
I've not seen any from my friends yet.
Not even the b3tans.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:45, Reply)
this reminds me
more and more b3tans are popping up in my people you might know list
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)
They probably are in mine too
but I don't know anyone's real names, so I cock-block the lot.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I'm only FB friends with Amberl
and I doubt I'd recognise any of you sexy people if you popped up on my "might know" list anyway

You must be gutted
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:04, Reply)
Hahah
found you

POWERS OF INVESTIGATION

I won't add you, that's just slightly weird.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)
I was going to go through your friends to look for Amber, to then find DF
But I saw you have 613 friends and just couldn't be fucked.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:10, Reply)
That's committed stalking.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)
Not really, I couldn't be bothered
Plus I call it 'social engineering'.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)
Lampito has 613 friends too?
I think I had 613 friends at the last count. That's fucking freaky
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)
No, it's excessive

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)
That's another word for it
I need the validation or I cease to exist

/Emo
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
How the fuck?!
You can add me if you like, I'm very impressed you managed it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)
I can guess
sometimes from the names
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:05, Reply)
I only have people from /links on mine
as I was a long term resident over there. I'd probably add that Crow chap as he's a musical type and I like to build a network of musicians all over the world.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)
My name's Ruari
it's unusual enough to probably be the first result for most of you.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:05, Reply)

msp236.photobucket.com/albums/ff60/mozhated_bucket/Male_lion.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:09, Reply)
That's the first time I've heard that comparison ever.
EVAR
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:14, Reply)
Are you........a PADDY?
They're the nation most guilty when it comes to spasticated spellings of words, that I know of.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)
Born in Shrewsbury
but of norn Irish stock on my mothers side.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)
I fucking love Shrewsbury.
Answer me this, if you may:

Correct pronunciation of Shrewsbury? I was brought up to say Sh-rose-bury, not to rhyme with Dewsbury, but my (admittedly rather dim) pal moved up there and says it the latter way.

WHO IS RIGHT?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)
I generally say shrosebury but shewsbury is right.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
That's weird then, isn't it?
If the correct way is the phonetic way, how is it that both you and I have ended up with a weird pronunciation?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:31, Reply)
because you are both equally spastic?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:33, Reply)
I fear this is the only logical conclusion.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
Hmm, I have two
mutual friends (non-b3tan) with friends called Ruari.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)
I don't know if I should add people I know from here or not
I'm not very interesting on Facebook.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Just saw it and Liked it!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Who the fuck is Derrick Bird?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)
He went on a killing spree around Cumbria this afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Oh, right. I was thinking of doing that
What's the joke?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Derrick Bird has been called up to the England squad by Fabio Capello.

He has had more shots on target in one day that Emile Heskey has all season.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I was going to say something about last of the summer wine but I can't get the wording right
something like: "BBC should have realised the consequnces to rural communities before they axed last of the summer wine"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)
That would be funnier
if it wasn't painfully true

I sense this isn't the place to open a debate about the various merits of the members of the England World Cup squad
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)
Don't start about Heskey or I'll be venting with you.
Glad they left Walcott behind though, good call.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)
Heskey is the Candyman

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:16, Reply)
That might explain why Capello plays him
I'm fed up of hearing how Rooney scores more while playing with Heskey, it's because he has to do two strikers' work! When he plays with Crouch, the latter scores the goals Heskey doesn't
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)
heskey is and always has been shit
he can barely fucking stand up, let alone score.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
It's because of his massive FUCKING HEAD
it's filled with cement.

~:-$

Just been sent another

"Vanessa Perroncel: Statistically better at going through defenders than Emile Heskey."
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:34, Reply)
The only benefit to his existence that I can see
is that Capello likes him, and he seems to know what he's about
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
that moron who managed liverpool liked Heskey too
(had to look up his name: Houllier) and he was shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Worryingly
Martin O'Neill (ex-Forest, let's not forget), who definitely knows his onions, leaves Heskey on the bench
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Hahah brilliant
'Derrick B is a bad young brother'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)
REED DUH NEWZ

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)
In the wee small hours of this morning I was being interviewed for TV.

In a bathtub.

With 3 other men.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:47, Reply)
This is the best response
Elaborate, please

/popcorn
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:47, Reply)
Not a lot more to it.
I'll post a link when it's all edited if you want.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Football?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Aboslutely NOTHING to do with football.


Or bumming.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Why am I the only B3tan who likes football?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:05, Reply)
For the same reason you're the only one who likes ballroom dancing?

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:06, Reply)
sweaty men in shorts
playing with balls

You do the maths
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)
My god you're DISGUSTING

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)
I like it,
don't usually like to talk about it though
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)
I like football
and would talk about it on here if it wasn't so villified
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)
Fuck it, let's start a thread

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:25, Reply)
Do it on a football forum, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)
yeah
this is a music forum
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:34, Reply)
PREZACKLY.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:34, Reply)
How dare I challenge your preconceptions of me
by expressing an interest in a stereotypically heterosexual pasttime
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:38, Reply)
bender

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:39, Reply)
EH?
Football's entirely for benders, what on earth are you on about?

Bunch of preening ponces mincing about with alice bands on, crying when they scuff their knees, having a big cuddle with their friends and then all jumping into a bath together?

BENDERS, I SAY.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)
^^ THIS in vast quantities ^^

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)
I wasn't talking about the players
How many gay men watch football?

Note: the answer "one, you!" is not funny
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:43, Reply)
loads
including you
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)
Most of them firmly closeted bumders

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:45, Reply)
Gregg Wallace from Masterchef, for one
West Ham thug, raving bum-wrangler.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:49, Reply)
I never knew Gregg Wallace was a bumder
Amazing how much celebrity gossip you're privy to, Monty
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:52, Reply)
Isn't it just?
I know some ghastly things about some ghastly people...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:55, Reply)
I, for one, do not believe you
and would like proof
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:56, Reply)
I don't understand.
You don't believe I know some awful things about some awful people? I've just told you that fucking humpty dumpty cunt is a bumlord. Is that not proof enough?

Or you don't believe he's a bender? If the latter I would imagine some judicious googling would support me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:03, Reply)
I believe you about the terrifying huge-mouthed twat as I have no reason to doubt you and caanot be arsed to Google him
I want more celebrity gossip, Perez
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:04, Reply)
I've done some judicious googling
and have found nothing conclusive either way

only thing I found was that he met his fiancée on Twitter.

He does seem like a bumlord though

edit: bing: www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1194587/Is-Masterchef-star-Greg-Wallaces-latest-romance-recipe-disaster.html

admittedly it's in the Mail, but doesn't look like a gay
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:07, Reply)
Gay saunas, I heard.
Frequently.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:09, Reply)
maybe he just likes other men checking out his wang

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:10, Reply)
seconded

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)
Negative, didn't go in?
Just impacted on the surface?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)
^this is awesome
That is all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)
had some more sex in my childhood bed

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)
The people your parents sold that to
are going to start complaining soon, you know that? The child whose bed it is now is becoming traumatised.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:14, Reply)
I'm fairly certain my dog is :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)
I might go home
I'm hungry, I'm not really thinking straight. I might go back, get some food, do some more shit and then come back to it.
Plus by the time I'll be back and it'll be past five and this place goes dead. So all is good.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)
plenty of time to work
I'm off in two minutes to my tutorial
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)
Yeah that's it. I'm going
I will feast, then attempt to write flashcards in bed. Or go down to the computer lab.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)
that's no moon....

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)
It's a FWAP!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:14, Reply)
alright which b3tan is
this?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:16, Reply)
Serial killer eyewear
Why do pairs of Reactolight glasses immediately turn the wearer into a potential serial kiler?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)
I KNEW something wasn't right about that Dave Lee Travis.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Everytime i see a person in the street with them one
I can't help but think they are just popping out to the ironmongers for some more rape tape and new hacksaw blades.

Shifty looking cunts.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
My dad got some and I called him a sex pest
He kept wearing them so I called him a paedo. He doesn't wear them any more.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:31, Reply)
Atta girl
Gotta keep these potential abusers and wrongcocks off the streets.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:34, Reply)
They don't allow shades on D Wing, then?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:35, Reply)
I've been on a seg wing
I was chatting away to some inmates before I realised where they were going and what they might be.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)
I think it's nice that you chatted with your dad's 'friends'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)
Hahaha
I was with my friend who got me a tour of a prison.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:46, Reply)
Ever seen 'Ghosts of The Civil Dead'?
Violent, futuristic Aussie prison based film, starring Nick Cave in what can only be described as a 'bravura' performance, with possibly one of the most memorable entrances of all time.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:43, Reply)
Nope, sounds like a must-see
EDIT Ever seen 'Bad Boy Bubby'?

Masterpiece.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)
Yes, indeed
Great film, pretty funny as well. Ain't seen it for years though, will have to rectify that this very evening methinks.

Aye 'Ghosts' is pretty intense, filled with foreboding and desperation. Blixa Bargeld does the score for it as well.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:01, Reply)
I've got reactolights
Oh, I see what you mean.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:46, Reply)
Can I borrow them for Parents' Evening please?
Just for a laugh, like...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Yeah, no probs.
The lenses are a bit strong though. Please don't break them or I'll be like Donald Pleasance.

I'll gaz them over.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:53, Reply)
Thank you so.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:55, Reply)

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