I just touched my penis...
...after handling chilli seeds.

Wouldn't recommend it.
(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:52, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I touched a man's penis once.
I wouldn't recommend it either.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Did it spit at you?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:58, Reply)

No but it gave me the evil eye.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:01, Reply)

*winks*

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:04, Reply)

It's unpleasant, isn't it?
Next time have a wank before you start cooking.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)

He could have worn a condom
Then he could do both.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:03, Reply)

The silly boy really isn't thinking it through, is he?
Chilli for lunch and a posh wank afterwards.

He could even use a couple of five-finger hand condoms* whilst handling the chilli, then discard those before tending to the throbbing conrete donkey waiting enrobed in a lurid green French Tickler.

*_{'Rubber Gloves' to the lay user}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Can't see the point of coloured condoms myself
Anyway, why not wash his hands before the wank. Perhaps it was handling the seeds made him horny.

I think he must be a student or something.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Possibly
but even I had better things to do as an undergrad than wonder what it would be like to poke chilli plants with my errant bell-end.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I think they're taking the piss
'I got chilli on my cock' was one of those great QOTW memes like 'the ice cream van only plays music when they run out' and 'I took the duvet off and my mum had left a cup of tea on the dresser' and 'sometimes I like to rape babies with knives and eat faeces with a spoon'

Chortle!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:25, Reply)

When I did that
I ended up nearly in tears, rubbing my (fully clothed) genital area on the stairs in order to try and friction it away, whilst emitting a series of bleeps, a bit like an organic dial-up modem. My mates kids were amused by this.
(Gertcha_cowson NAH MATE, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I put chilli up my vagina
And rub paprika into the cocks of sailors for 20p a go.

It's hard work, but it gives me a warm feeling inside
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Helps to control your rampant vaginal warts as well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:16, Reply)

I prefer to think of them
As internal beauty spots
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Spermicide in the mouth.
DEFINITELY wouldn't recommend it.

I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)

YAY! (For end of exams, not a gobful of spermicide)
How'd it go?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Borderline dreadful-passable.
One decent essay, one meereghghmaybe, one utter shitwanknightmare.

Done now. Will have a nice meal with Sister Dearest, go shopping for sheets to make a toga, and get on the gin. It'll be fun.
How has it been in the land of water vapour?

my friend has got an "unofficial" PhD placement at Imperial. So proud ^_^
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Indeed, it's all over and you have earned the time to relax / get absolutely mumra'd
The land of water vapour is very quiet at the moment. I have the office to myself at the moment, and very few other people seem to be around. T and I have made our flower harvest more masculine by turning it into alcohol, and I have inherited a spider plant from the cute American girl who works down the corridor. But that's about it for the time being.

_{"Unofficial," eh? Is this the friend who wanted to do Earth Science, or someone else?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:43, Reply)

WOO!
I've still got a week and a half before mine even start :( Enjoy your freedom!
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Oh I will.
I will enjoy it in a way only possible in Candybox.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Did a quick google
www.candyboxburlesque.com/ ?
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Nup
It's a night on at Moonie's, in Soho.
Most like 5th you can get in London.

My friend threw up in a cup last time we were there.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Charming
Hoping the weather is good after my exams, got some time left from last year windsurfing which needs using up within the first couple weeks of summer.

Rest of the summer will be filled with geekery and trips to foreign parts
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I think there's a film about that...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Rocco does Prague?

(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:45, Reply)

"Ron Jeremy Voms in a Cup"

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I don't have
a penis. But I've gotten chilli in my eye before, and I wouldn't recommend that either.
(berk, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:57, Reply)

OK I won't touch your penis then.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:04, Reply)