London B3tans (or close to) only.
My dear brother has fucked up again, and couldn't get a babysitter for tonight. What does this have to do with me, you ask? Well, I'd brought the asshole 2 tickets to go see Bon Jovi at the O2 arena tonight, and they are going spare, free, gratis, whatever. It goes against my ethos to waste tickets, so I'd rather give them away than have empty seats. You can pick the tickets up in Central London, and go there for nowt. Any takers?
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:56, 132 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmmmm,
hmmmmm,
I could get there.... but I'll leave it to a london local.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Didn't Jovi slap you with a restraining order
last year anyway after you threw your panties at him whilst screaming you wanted his mulleted children more than that new D&G handbag you thought would go sooooo well with your new Jimmy Choos?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:01, Reply)

no, that didn't happen.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Oh sorry
That was Monty and Bowie
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I thought you were going to ask someone to babysit.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Me too.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)

From here?

( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Some of us are quite good
I'd do it if I wasn't living in Manchester.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)

good point
edit: I just gazzed you to ask about the tickets,
can someone check if he's got me on ignore, a lot of people have.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:15, Reply)

they haven't got you on ignore
they just ignore you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:17, Reply)

:(
ure meen
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:18, Reply)

also if he has got me on ignore then replying to me isn't helping.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)

yeah thanks for all your help guys, you're really useful.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

give us a chance
I was actually writing the message when I got distracted :-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Do you really want to see Bon Jovi anyway?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

It's either that or design a database tonight.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I'm have to work tonight so stop moaning.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

My work is more important.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I get people drunk.
What do you do?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)

people can manage that on their own

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

They can't if they haven't got the alcohol.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)

they could brew their own
I loved being a barman. I particularly revelled in how easy it was and how shit most people are at it.

we didn't even have a till that added up.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Not if thy're at a gig and they're not allowed to bring their own in.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)

as if no one can get around that
students these days....

never heard of smuggling the bag from inside a wine box into a gig in the lining of your coat?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Shut up!
I'm trying to feel important here.
I work at the MEN Arena :(
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:06, Reply)

How fitting

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)

what she means is that men work in her "arena"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)

toil away drone
know that your work is meaningless!

hahahha!
ahahahahahaha!
ha!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Whatever, it's paying for me to come down to London to see you losers.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:10, Reply)

unfortunately
my job doesn't quite cover getting to london for that, as well as all the other things I need to pay for, so I won't be there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)

replacing a £200,000 a year database
with one I've designed saving the tax payer probably about £150,000ish a year.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)

replacing a £200,000 a year database
with one I've designed saving the tax payer probably about £150,000ish a year sell paperclips
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:40, Reply)

if I were near London I'd probably have them
they are a shitload better than U2, and I suspect they put on a good show.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Exactly, I'm pretty much up for any live gig.
Good way to spend an evening, I'm just put off by cost most times.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

same here
with the added point that no one big plays in the South West.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

my sister, who listens to Take That and The Feeling
said that she liked Bon Jovi and I was all sneery and asked her to name any song other than Living On a Prayer. She then reeled off almost every song from their last two albums. Turns out her slightly cooler boyfriend had put a load of acceptable music on her MP3 player and sent her to the gym with it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

A man eating
a jizz and tripe sandwich whilst getting pissed on by a naked Susan Boyle would be a shitload better than U2
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:32, Reply)

that is very true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

You speak the truth.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)

This is one of those "C'mon gonz, once in a life time, you can tell your grand kids that time how someone from the internet gave you free tickets to see an amazing band in an amazing venue, it's an adventure, you could meet the girl of your dreams there".
... moments that I'm going to pass by, sorry mate.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Is that because I can't make it?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Yes, that is exactly 100% why.
Oh TGB, it's been a sad year so far, I haven't even seen you once !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I think the
"Amazing" part (or lack of it), is the reason I'm not going. I fucking hate 'em, but him and his Mrs seem to like them. God only knows why, but each to their own.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I would go if I lived in London or liked Bon jovi.
But I don't.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Bon Jovi? I thought they all died at the end of Young Guns 2?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Have you got Psychochomp on ignore
or are you just not speaking to him, like me?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)

in case you have him on ignore Psychochomp is expressing desire for the tickets

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:23, Reply)

if he's ignoring him he's probably not going to give him free tickets
in which case ha.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

he might wish to inflict Bon Jovi on someone he doesn't like

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I wish they had an ignore for real life

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I guess they do
Maddie's parents managed it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

you beauty

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

looks like either we're all ignore or he really hates Psychochomp

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Maybe he ignores him so much
that his mind doesn't process any message with the word Psychochomp on it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

hahaha
that would be great. "Are you sure you want to ULTIMATE IGNORE Psychochomp?"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:31, Reply)

ULTIMATE IGNORE will replace all instances of "Psychochomp" and "Milton Keynes"
with a random picture from cuteoverload.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Me I can understand,
but you can't ignore MK
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

no matter how much you try

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

You could just refer to it as "Southwest Bedfordshire"

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Milton Keynes
is not in Bedfordshire or else that just might work.........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 19:44, Reply)

FOREVER

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Psychochomp fancies men with big hairdoos
can he have the tickets?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Psychochomp wants to know if you are ignoring him
Because he wants to take advantege of your disgrace.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Um, maybe.
So he can have them. Hold on, I'll check my ignore list.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I think you should edit your first post
and force him to babysit.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:37, Reply)

hahahahaha
I love you have a whole list!
Unless I'm on it... then I'll cry.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:45, Reply)

there are only two people on my whole list
so they should feel extra special.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

good lord
there is no one on mine. I almost added a couple yesterday, because they are guilty of being terminally fucking dull and beakerish.

you all know who I mean
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Dull?!
*ring ring* Hello Pot?
This is Kettle, you're black
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I'm not as bad as the ones to which I am referring

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)

I'm sorry...I...I can change....

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

harsh words
if you're not careful he'll put you on the ignore step.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)

He'd never ignore me
I'm awesome. And if he threatened I'd look sad and say I'm very very sorry and he'd go aww and forget all about it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:52, Reply)

You're good at that pouty face

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:52, Reply)

and the voice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)

the sad thing is, this is true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I can't put anyone on ignore.
I'm frightened I might miss something.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Me too

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)

There are a few I should put on ignore but only some /talk plonkers.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Don't talk bad about /talk
(they scare me)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I hane not ignored anyone.
The only people I'd consider ignoring are so shit that I feel a little bit superior every time they post, so I'd rather not lose the occasional brightening of my day.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I don't have anyone
But only because I'd miss all the amusing replies when they post the Seven steps to getting to the North Pole tripe.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I have no one.
In December '09, no one was ignoring me. I suspect that may have gone up :/
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Did someone just say something?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

>_<

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:05, Reply)

He's not now
And for the life of me, I can't remember why he was. Some random shit at some random time. Gave him the details, ta board people. He can suffer them- revenge is a dish best served cold.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

it's too late
he's already hurt.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

He's going to stab himself with a paperclip.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Hahaha!

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

FANKS
you're one of the good b3ta people.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)

And what about me?
If I hadn't said anythin you'd still be begging! What do I get?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Sounds like fun
I'd go if I lived in London
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:01, Reply)

How was the date?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Bizarre
really really bizarre. Definitely not going further, but I reckon we could be quite good friends. It was a good laugh, but I knew it was nothing else when he told me I had strange eyes. Basically just went 'they're a really nice colour, but they're so piercing, I feel like you can see all about me'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)

kind of an odd thing to say

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)

yeah
I guess my eyes are a bit like that though.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)

I think I'd like something like that said to me
So you don't fancy him after all?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)

he's quite hot
in a very laid back way. But nah it's not going anywhere
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)

how can someone be laid back hot?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)

in the sense
of not really making an effort. Just natural and at ease
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)

that makes sense
not sure what my brain was doing when I asked...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I might also have accused him
of wanking over Frank Lampard photos. And he ended up laughing hard enough that he almost choked
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)

splendid :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:39, Reply)

*leans back and shoots the Fonzy finger pistols*
Eyy
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Because you don't want?
Or because you think he doesn't want?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)

um
I don't think he did. I was probably hotter when he was drunk. But also I just wasn't bothered enough to make a big effort I guess. I think I'm not very good on dates because I'd rather have things be a laugh, than seriousness and long looks etc
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:22, Reply)

that's a much better way of being on a date
if you've both laughed your arse off then it's a success in my book.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)

To be honest
a lot of people don't view a great sense of humour as an asset in a girlfriend
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Then they're fools
It's one of the primary things I look for.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I used to think that was true
but on closer observation over the years, it appears men really would rather be the ones making jokes and their girlfriends laughing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)

That is so true
Little times you hear: "She was fantastic, she made me laugh all the time"

But you hear: "She was fantastic, she even laugh at my jokes"
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:44, Reply)

that is a sad state of affairs
Something I have noticed recently, and again has made me feel very lucky, is that a fairly significant proportion of my mate's and my bro's gfs etc. don't really seem to have any interests. nothing they are passionate about.

my main ones are music and surfing, but I'm just generally interested and enthusiastic about a lot of things, as is my other half.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Aberracion
is completely right. All those weird articles msn has on its front page on 'how to attract the right man' always always say 'laugh at his jokes and ask him about himself.' I'm cool with both of those things, but it's a bit sad that the advice isn't 'be funny and nice.'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:51, Reply)

it really is sad
hindsight is an interesting thing. I've kind of come to the conclusion that I never really had an luck with women when I was younger not because I was repulsive or weird (well, not entirely) but just because very few of the girls I knew or met were normal people who were interested in things, or liked a laugh.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Well I'm hoping
I'll meet some people like that.

The bad thing about this city, is that everyone is clever. That means that cleverness (and humour to an extent) are no longer criteria for being interested in someone. They have to be really hot as well.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:55, Reply)

not something I'd considered really
that said, all of the girls I've been with for longer than token periods of time have been good friends first, so looks aren't a driving factor at all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Ah well
I've got a bit of time yet I guess.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 17:03, Reply)

definitely
the best things happen naturally in my (admittedly fairly limited) experience, and I don't think you have to worry about your looks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Cheers
I should probably concentrate on my work at the moment as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 17:08, Reply)

yeah
pull your damn socks up!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 17:10, Reply)

me too
my gf and I frequently have each in stitches with the most ludicrous of things.

it's my experience that you can't have a proper relationship with someone unless they are a very good friend, and you can't be good friends with someone if you don't have compatible senses of humour
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:38, Reply)

THIS IN LARGE QUANTITIES

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:45, Reply)

o_O
Shame, but good that you can be friends.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)

true
and I did get some good jokes out of it. We people spotted for ages- was there about 2 and a half hours I guess
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Oh awesome!
I'm starving hungry. Should I make some popcorn?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)

yes
or something more substantial. So you won't feel hungry later
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I might go to Sainsbury's
But don't want to leave my bed.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:22, Reply)

remember
food delivery is the work of the Gods
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)

It's a 5 min walk
that's just pure lazyness
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)

*shifts feet*
order from a different place. Then you won't feel guilty because it won't be five minutes walk
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)

have a cigarette

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Had one about 20 mins ago
plus my chest is hurting, so might give it a rest for a bit
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:22, Reply)