Problem thread
I've been packing like a fury for hours, finally got some semblance of order. Laid out the clothes I'm going to change into after I've showered, and found the dress is wrinkled, the tights have a ladder, and the cardigan needs an iron. To change my outfit will require major unpacking, I can't iron very well, but I can buy more tights. Solutions?

Alt Q for those not interested in my clothes problems: what is the stupidest thing you have ever done while intoxicated (drugs or alcohol)?

Alt Alt Q: Would you rather a lovely dinner and a really bad nights sleep (restless sleep for you insomniacs) or vice versa?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:23, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We all look like fucking tramps anyway
so I wouldn't bother dressing up. Plus when you pass out in a doorway and get urinated on you don't want to spoil your nice clothes.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

it's not so much
that I'm wearing nice clothes, just that I'd rather not look a complete tramp when I inevitably bump into the President, his mrs, the bursar and my senior tutor
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:27, Reply)

look
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Too easy.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:57, Reply)

good though
and true
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:58, Reply)

just like your mum

EDIT Oh, I know what I was going to say to you, Wookie! I saw a guy walking down the high street near me last night, and I thought he was you. Same ridiculous hair, glasses, stupid little fucking hat.

...but he was with a moderately attractive looking woman, so you know, clearly wasn't you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

At least she doesn't charge.
People just throw their spare change in the hat if they've enjoyed the performance.

EDIT - Just edit while I'm replying, why don't you. I don't have any stupid hair any more. And besides, I know plenty of attractive women. None of them will sleep with me, but that doesn't mean I'm not seen in their company occasionally.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Don't knock your mum
she's one of my favourite Bison

EDIT did you also lose that hat?
DOUBLE EDIT Or do you use that to disguise the 'MASSIVE VIRGIN' tattoo on your head?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I have not worn that hat in ages, I'm embracing the baldness now.
Bison? Eh?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Excellent
+5 respect points to you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

That means the world to me, Bert, it really does.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Girl, you'll be a woman...
Soon
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Ironing is for girls.
Also, you're meeting the internet, you don't have to dress up.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

You should wear the laddered tights and see who the first person to do the stairway to heaven line.
I'm guessing monty.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I like this idea

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I like the fact that Chompy is downplaying the fact
that he desperately wants to do the Stairway to Heaven line so he's pretending that Monty will use it instead. An idea I find very unlikely. Monty will just ply you with MASSIVE DRUGS and then rape you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear,
that I'm terrible at chat up lines so never use them.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Try this one
Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

No? Neither do I, but it broke the ice
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

You should still be a virgin.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:34, Reply)

...and yet I'm not
Women, they're all fucking mental
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)

fucking mental drugged up on Rohypnol and then raped by me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I wish I was that forward
but it seems the more I don't want them, the more they want me.

Lunatics, the lot of them
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I seriously cannot wait to develop breasts.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:12, Reply)

put it in the dryer, or run a hair dryer over it and smooth out the wrinkles
alt q: other than drunk driving? nothing is quite that stupid
alt alt q: horrible dinner, lovely night of sleep
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)

thanks Kristine
will try the hairdryer and bought some tights
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

you can also try to steam them out with the iron, just don't let it touch the fabric, spray it toward the wrinkles, smoothe them out
but you run a risk of water stains
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I'd like a P please, Bob

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

up the stairs, 3rd door on the left
Try not to get it all over the seat this time
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Seat?
You'll be lucky if I get it anywhere near the seat
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I still have exams
So no going out for me tonight :(
And not too much after the last exam tomorrow since I'll need to be not hung over to pack/leave on sunday (not really supposed to be drinking much due to meds, and being picked up by parents on sun).

Alt q: This time last year, exam finished at 11, made it to 2:00 on the following pub crawl, staggered back, threw up, had a sleep, woke up and went to rejoin the crawl again. Not really the stupidest thing, but the only one I'm going to admit on the internet

Alt alt: Good dinner all the way, I dont mind waking up tired, so long as I wake up not hungry
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

HAHA
I love that students have to leave their rancid little cess pits at the end of each year. The thought of the panic going on makes owning a house all the sweeter!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)

panic cramming all the rubbish into a suitcase, leaving it in there over the hols, and then carefully unpacking it into the same place in october
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:44, Reply)

hey
it's not a cesspit. More of a Augean Stable
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:04, Reply)

The stupidest thing I have done whilst on Drugs and Alcohol
is to do more drugs and alcohol and not sleep for days. That's the trouble with drugs. Whilst you're on them you don't know when to stop taking them
( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:37, Reply)

POYWOIDH


EDIT just to explain, that stands for Pictures of Your Wife, Or It Didn't Happen
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Is that Pictures of Your WIfe Or It Didn't Happen?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Or Pictures of Your Willy Or It Didn't Happen?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Or Wildebeest?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

WyclefJean?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Pictures Of You Wanking?
surely video would be better
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Naw
it's much better to run past the photos, screaming and masturbating yourself furiously.

Video takes all the fun out of it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Water Buffalo

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

*slow claps*
al's clearly got his animal encylopaedia out
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:47, Reply)

You'd look ravishing in an old sack. Or do I mean ravishable?
Alt A1 - I said no.
Alt A2 - I'd say no.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

You could try hanging the dress up in the bathroom whilst you have your shower.
Probably the daftest thing I've done under the influence of alcohol was done jointly with some friends. We were out for a drink just before Christmas. One of the lads had been late, so arrived in his car with the intention of leaving it in the pub car park. When it got to half past ten (this was in the days of fixed closing times) we were discussing whether to go to a club or for something to eat, etc. Eventually it was decided that we'd all head back to Dave's house for more drinks. Not Dave's mum's house that was about a mile away, but the house that Dave shared with fellow students 70 miles away in Nottingham. Yeah it'll be right laugh, we might get there in time to go to Rock City or just have drinks at the house and then in the morning we'll do our Christmas shopping.
The driver on account of being late out had drank less than the rest of us, but would still have been over the limit. He had a bottle of whisky in the car which we swigged from the bottle en route (I don't even like the stuff.) Of course by the time we'd parked up we didn't fancy clubbing and instead ending up going in the house which hadn't had any heating on for a week and in which there was no food , and finished the whisky. In the morning having slept in the damp feeling house in our smoked infused clothes, no-one really fancied Christmas shopping. So without even getting breakfast we drove home.
Silly cunts.
(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:05, Reply)