I'm not well. I'm really not well.
I need tea.
I'm on the counter and I've just seen our Worst Ever Customer come in.
I'm going to run to the toilet as soon as I see him approach.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:14, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why are they the worst?
Do they not understand the fundamentals of your business?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Our rudest most demanding customer, he surely is
Yet he was just completely lovely to me, didn't swear and thanked me for all my help.
BLIMEY!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Sorry to hear that
I usually give biscuits or sweets to people who're having a bad day at the office. Do you want one? It's a healthy biscuit, sorry, I don't have anything better today.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Ooh, a biscuit would be lovely...
Ta luv
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

There you have
Chocolate and orange.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Muchas gracias chicalinda

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

De nada, guapa
That did bring a big smile to my face.

Where did you learn?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Just at school
He olvidado mucho :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Really?
Just at school? That's very good.

At least you use the right person, not like my bf, who keeps talking as if he was the queen.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 16:09, Reply)

And italy are getting beat :(

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Why do you support Italians?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

She likes their penis'

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)

My Grandad is half eye-tie
Has a cooooool surname and everything
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Cos we're proper sexy.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)

You Italian luv?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

No she just likes their penis'

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Penises plural
Or does Italy have one massive, boot-shaped collective cock?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Yes, it's called Silvio Berlusconi
Ha ahha ahh ah errrr
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

What an awful joke
@Al, I also would have accepted penii
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Hence the body copy...
@Bert we have nested replies
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

@Nakedape
I want OT back the way it used to be

Also, I'm on my phone, trying to lower my thumb-mileage
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

If I had to choose,
I'd say I prefer Greek men I think.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Are you insane??????
EDIT: Actually, I shouldn't make generalisations.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

According to my last psych evaluation... yes.

I love them both, but Greeks just take the win. Partly cos I can say "No, I don't have a boyfriend" in Greek.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

they promise all and deliver nothing
And then are VERY surprised when you dump them.
in fact they don't believe they are dumped. They assume you must be joking and stalk you anyway.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)

But they are so nice to look at!
I don't let it get that far anyway.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

They rapidly become ugly before your eyes when you realise that they are utter plantpots

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Haha, Plantpot.
I enjoy this. I'll have to remember it for future use.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:59, Reply)

They only eat all day
And watch football. And get upset with you for no reason.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I like hairy man...LIKE ANIMAL

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

300
Is not a documentary
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)

What?
It...It's not?
*sobs*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)

oh god that film was fit.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 16:05, Reply)

It was awesome
Had fighting and boobs for the men too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)

partly :D
My nanna is.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Woo my grandad is

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:43, Reply)

How could you, my grandfather is dead, you insensitive git!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:44, Reply)

My English grandad is on his way out
So by mentioning grandfathers and death in the same sentence you have offended me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I'm English and at some point will die, thus I am doubly offended

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Are you referring to mortality in general now?
You bastard. That also applies to me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I am a bastard you shitting cow's nipple!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

So's my poor poor mother

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Hi five for exotic blood!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:45, Reply)

YAY!
He's not my biological grandad but I didn't discover this until I was 11 so I am 'culturally italian'
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

l n
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

You're despicable

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

:p

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Where? There are thousands of Ls in that sentence.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I think he means "cunturally"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Thanks, lets see if we can get it in the dictionary
Cuntural: Pretentious art, literature, theatre or film hailed as a masterpiece by trendy skinny jeaned twunts, but obviously a pile of turd to the general public
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Alongside
Egotestical: An arrogant liar who lacks the skill or charisma to get away with it, and is in such denial that they believe the bollocks they spew.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Thank you, dear
I can't see without my glasses.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)