You didn't do an alternative question Lemmy, so I'll do one
What's your favourite item of stationery? I like multicoloured post its. I ordered rainbow ones for the office recently and it made me happy.

I dislike mini bulldog clips because I have a habit of clipping them round my labret piercing when I'm bored and then they ping off and it hurts. I clipped one round my tongue piercing once but then I nearly swallowed it.

Alternative alternative question: What have you swallowed that you shouldn't? Besides Northern jizz apparently.

There you go, thread hijacking complete.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:48, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I like my clicky pencil
or the unusual 40cm ruler I stole from Natwest when I worked there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I like my PostIt notes
Because one of my twatty managers HATES them. He made it mandatory for all staff attending meetings to take notes (despite nothing important being said, and the fact that the meetings are minuted). I write my notes on PostIts, and stick them to the desk. It makes him twitch.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

hahah
excellent
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I like this.
My boss dislikes the neon set I ordered a while ago, he said the green hurts his eyes.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Order more!
I also have some for quality checking work, which say things like "Sort this shit out.", "Fuck this" and "You've fucked up here".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

i assume then
that anytime you give him a note, its a green Postit?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Aye
I also use the stripey paperclips on him too.

Not ON him, I mean on work I give to him. I'm not that kind of secretary.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Have you seen the film Secretary?
Yeah...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

hell yeah
twice.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I love my set of Rotring pencils,
But my current favourites are Mitsubishi Uniball eye fine pens. They are the best ball pen ever. Mine keep going missing so every week I go round the other desks and recover them.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

*boring post alert*
Part of my degree is drafting and I've struggled to find a really good pen that does a continuous line, would you recommend the uniball one? If I'm drawing a really long ruled line, the bloody thing always breaks up at some point and it's nearly impossible to fill in the gap without blobbing and I specifically get marked on things like that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I had a pen that would've been perfect
unfortunately some fucker (probably my old boss) stole it and I don't know what it was

I can ask my architect brother if he has any recommendations?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

yes that would be great, it's for architectural drafting that I need it.
Also ask him how much he would charge to do the whole thing for me, I suck at it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I'll fire an email to him
I suspect that the cost of him doing it will be quite a lot as he is an associate at a fancy london firm
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

my brother has responded saying they use some disposable Staedtler ones these days
but at uni he used Rotring Rapidograph or Isograph which were alright. Although he said he used to get in a mess whatever
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

was there more to that last sentence?
Thanks, I'll have a look at those. I've got quite high marks on my drafting so far so I can't be that bad at it. Plus professional firms all use CAD for the most part anyway.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

yeah, and cad is a piece of piss
I could add more to the sentence if you want.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I've got a student version of Autocad
I'm going to learn myself up some graphic design.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

it shouldn't prove too tricky to learn for yourself
3D stuff is harder, but the books out there are pretty good. it's an easy thing to learn from a book.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I'll hunt me down a copy of Autocad for Retards

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

haha I was kidding
I won't learn the true value of it if I don't do it myself, etc. Plus I have to sign a thing that says I did it and since I'm not northern, I can't be dishonest.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I wasn't seriously thinking you were asking for him to do it
what do you take me for?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

A cad and a bounder!
(not computer aided design cad)
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

*bounds*
*cads*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Fineliner maybe?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I've tried most of the fineliner pens in WHSmiths
they all break up
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

These are the pens I use
www.cultpens.com/acatalog/Uni-Ball_Eye_Rollerball.html

The UB-150 micro types, and I get them from WH Smiths.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Thanks, I'll head over there and pick some up
much appreciated chief.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:25, Reply)

The uniballs are very good, buy one and try it out.
Short of going to the old tube nose Rotrings these are the best I've used.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Thieving southern pikey.
At least us Northerners are honest as t'days long.
Good job we have winters or the Scousers would be fucked.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

we have to steal because all our wages go on taxes
which pay for you northern benefit scroungers extravagent lifestyles. by which I mean your fags, special brew, large tvs and football kits
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Don't forget all the money they spend voting on Britains Got Talent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I concur

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

yes honest northerners....
www.blackburn.gov.uk/server.php?show=ConWebDoc.50586
www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/blackburn/5076077.Jail_for___197_000_Blackburn_benefits_cheat/
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5004431/Family-who-are-too-fat-to-work-say-22000-worth-of-benefits-is-not-enough.html
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I want to go and find that fat family
and use them as bouncy castles
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

and use them as bouncy castles and boil them to make soap
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

'we're selling women's fat asses back to them'

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I want to cave in their skulls with frozen pies
"We have cereal for breakfast, bacon butties for lunch and microwave pies with mashed potato or chips for dinner," Mrs Chawner told Closer magazine.

"All that healthy food, like fruit and veg, is too expensive. We're fat because it's in our genes. Our whole family is overweight," she added.

those stupid fat cunts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

"We all want to lose weight to stop the abuse we get in the street, but we don't know how."
PUT DOWN THE FUCKING FORK!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:17, Reply)

they make me angry
I weighed 16.5 stone at one point, didn't look anywhere near that fat fortunately because I'm tall and stuff as well, but having lost 3 stone of it I can say with great certainty that it isn't that hard if you're not a stupid greedy cunt like that family.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

But bouncy castles?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

BOING
*ripple*

*ripple*

BOING

*ripple*

BOING

*ripple*

BOING!!!!!!!!!

*ripple*

*ripple*

*ripple*

*ripple*

SOMERSAULT MOUTHA FUCKA!

*splat*

*leakage*

Next fat cunt please!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

but they'd be all sweaty and greasy and northern
and you'd get it on yourself
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I'll be wearing a rubber suit

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Yeah but you should be in favour of that.
You could slap her and ride in on the ripples. On your board.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I approve of this

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I liked Andrew Lansleys comments yesterday
Lecturing people about healthy eating is counter productive. Therefore we should just give up. NO ANDREW YOU STUPID CUNT YOU NEED TO KEEP TELLING PEOPLE THAT, EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT, THEIR KIDS ARE FAT AND UNHEALTHY AND SO ARE THEY.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Parents with obese kids anger me too.
Or those who say "Oh, I can't help being fat". Yes, yes you fucking can! It'll be hard work, it'll hurt, but you can do it, and therefore you should either lose weight, or pay for your own fucking food.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

The ones ont the telly saying
I'd rather they had a burger than are nothing. YOU STUPID FUCK! Don't let them have a burger, insist they eat some proper fucking food!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Obese people sicken me. I can't help but think that they're horrible failures.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I'm glad I have slimmed down in that case

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I doubt you were obese
I'm talking about those that are practically spherical, or so fat they ride in mobility scooters.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

according to BMI thing I was
I never had any sagging bits or anything though. it's all relative. I've got a big frame anyway, and am 6'2.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Ah, of CHCB proportions without the excuse of pregnancy.
That would be me then.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I don't really like Jamie Oliver
but I thought his attempts to get school dinners made healthier was really admirable. It was heartbreaking to watch parents smuggling McDonalds food to their kids through the gates.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

what makes him say it is counter productive?
if we tell them to eat healthily then they'll only ram more burgers in their fat stupid faces?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Because Tory voters don't like being told what to do
because they are stupid obstinate fucks and if you try and give them advice they will do the opposite just to prove you wrong. And I hope they all die.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

harsh but fair I think.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I have so totally highjacked this thread.
Where's Lemmy?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

nice work
dunno. who was he anyway?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Not sure
the dramallama seems to have brought some new people to our shores.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

dramallama?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

batshit going mental

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:04, Reply)

It spits jizz in your face.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:04, Reply)

May I presume here that most obesity is within the (non) working calsses?
May we also then suppose that there may be a "Fuck them posh cunts telling me what to do" mentality at work also?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Well quite possibly
I'm willing to concede that.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:58, Reply)

But a lot of those people voted Tory
because they hate the "Nanny State"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I don't think so.
Most of them couldn't get their arses off their burst couches to go and vote.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:10, Reply)

*seethes*
*narrowly avoids exploding into Daily Mail-esque rant*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

But BOUNCY CASTLES!
This is a great idea.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I support this wholeheartedly

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Are they the fat cunts off Britain's got talent or X Factor or you know the ones I mean?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)

IT IS! HELLO! IT'S HER WHO WORE THE DRESS HER FAT DAD MADE!
www.unrealitytv.co.uk/x-factor/emma-chawner-returns-for-x-factor-2008/
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

awww
video removed by user. I was hoping for some top quality mocking there.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

just google her name
there are lots of you tube clips of her audition.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I'm on it
EDIT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I liked when they were on GMTV
I don't watch GMTV and I hadn't at that point seen the audition clip, but someone text me to tell me how brilliant it was and I'm not sorry
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

that's on youtube as well
apparently Emma walked out on Lorraine Kelly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I hate you I hate you I hate you!
Why did you put me through that?
All that avoiding telly goes to nothing.
My ears are suing me now. Thanks.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

:D
Next, look up Special Needs Pets, or something about Prader-Willi syndrome
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Oh no you don't. I'm not that stoopid.
Edit: Aaaaaarrrrggghh my eyes!!!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:08, Reply)

why have you pierced a lab rat?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

So she can get her penis inside it

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

learn to read
spazmatron.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

learn to spot my jokes hunnibun.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I was waiting for the explanation.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

We all know Chompy's favourite bit of stationery.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:05, Reply)

The rohypnol?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)