Reasons for leaving current position?
On the application form i'm currently filling in there is this question. This is what i'd like to write -

I am looking for a new job because working in this job (research for the nhs) is slowly killing my passion for science. In the 18 months since finishing my phd i have gone from being excited about starting a career in science to seriously considering an apprenticeship in plumbing. I have been told i will never get anything published despite being one of the few people doing any lab work and repeatedly begging for more work to do. I am being ostracised for daring to suggest that perhaps me doing 3 mths of work for someone else's phd is not something i should be doing, and for thinking that a phd is not, nor should be, a group effort. I am frustrated by the groups' extreme reluctance to use any technology younger than 10 years old and their avoidance of more efficient, cheaper methods because someone, one time, many years ago had a bad result from a different method. If i have to hear someone say 'but that's how we've done it for the last 10 years' again, i may cause pain. I really want a career in research but am clearly never going to get that here.

So, do you think this would be more or less likely to get me an interview?

I needed that rant :) I know i should be grateful to have a job and mtfu etc but god, i hate working for the nhs!
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:10, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Unfortunately
potential employers seem to want you to put a positive spin on this sort of thing when you fill in these forms. You end up finding a phrase such as, "whilst I learnt a lot from this group, I saw my research continuing in a different direction to theirs," which bears no resemblance to the real bitterness and frustration you must clearly feel.

(I know how you feel, I shall soon have to find a nice way to say that I'm sick to the back teeth of the PhD I've been blundering through...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:30, Reply)

New phrases
I definitely need to get together a group of positive phrases that say 'give me a job, i hate the one i've got'!
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:38, Reply)

To be fair, Crow
I'd imagine that having incredibly limp wrists must make typing 12,000 words a bit of a chore at times. I imagine your essays to go something like: hhrhlghcd gdj kibku khgll'jhqw lhkh kghgjhlwedgoghgoghgogh.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:39, Reply)

*chortles*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:53, Reply)

HEINOUS BULLYING
And after all the effort I expended to type that eloquent reply with my nose...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Crow has it about right
Your application would go straight into the bin in my place if you wrote what you posted.

Negatives should be avoided on an application.

point out all the positives, any areas of note or particular success and which direction you see yourself developing in (and why).

Good luck
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:25, Reply)

What on earth makes you think they were seriously going to put that paragraph on an application?
It's pretty obvious it's an excuse for a rant.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:39, Reply)

I didn't
I simply bothered to read the OP properly and replied to the question
posed

"So, do you think this would be more or less likely to get me an interview?"

Any more blatently obvious things you need help with this morning?
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:54, Reply)

But you also read Crows reply
in which he responded to the general tone of the message rather than the exact words, which were clearly sarcastic. Are you actually autistic, as opposed to internet autisms like the rest of us?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Yawn
Try shaking a different tree if you want an argument, I have some fish in a barrel that need shooting. Its more sporting than bandying words with internet forum warriors.

Hugs
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I know quite a few people who work for the NHS.
I don't think any of them really like their job, except maybe a few of the medial based jobs (As in, doctors and nurses, rather than admin), and even then, I think the ones who like are in the minority.

I got a mate who's a GP and loves it though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:38, Reply)

Do you mind if I ask you a question, and please don't take this as a dig at all.
I know quite a lot of people who have done PHDs doing scientific things, like research, and to me the job seems tedious, dull and unless it's a rare case, leads not much further than where it starts.

I'm not an academic man, no in the slightest, but a job that I see very little appeal in, is 'research', weather it's doing something like testing millions of samples of blood, or checking to see who your local area votes for.

Don't get me wrong, statistics are awesome, and every time an interesting new API opens sharing massive databases, I glee a bit at the potential... for example, Spotify has an API and I can think up loads of uses for it. Google and Yahoo offers so much data that someone like me can make a website by myself and fill it with millions of content without much effort... but I would hate to be the collector of that data.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:43, Reply)

I just like working in a lab mostly
But i also like finding out new stuff and expanding our knowledge. I especially love the fact that everything in the body is controlled by genes and all the pathways feed back into each other.
It's just something that inspires me
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:45, Reply)

Ahh, cool.
The mental image I've got is having millions of, say, samples of blood, looking at it under a microsocope or putting it into some Whuuurrr Buzzzz'nator type thing, and the results showing you something similar or different each time, like, say [and forgive me here, I really don't know] Blood Type/Chromozone/DNA strand, and then marking it down. That then compares to an ID of an indevidual who has XYZ 'wrong' with them, and then at the end of the millions of tests you can say "Ahh, people with _this_ genetic marker tend to have _this_ desease. When they end up taking _this_ chemical, _that_ genetic marker is reduced, and so are the symptons".

Except, there is an almost infinate amount of sinarios and possiblities, and you can't test out some of the theories because, well, you can't just give someone a chemical, it has to go to a board of people.... which is where I would personally get fustrated as I would like to do something with the results.

Have I got the right idea about it?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:21, Reply)

It sounds about right
That sounds quite similar to what i'm sort of involved in, looking at genetic markers for disease susceptibility. It's got the potential to be really fascinating but just gets bogged down in other stuff.
Sometime research can be really exciting. Honest! Sometimes i wish we had magic CSI-like machines though.
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:28, Reply)

Cool, what kind of stuff gets in the way of doing bits you want?
Are there hundreds of you in the lab, or just a few? What would be your ideal lab gig?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:47, Reply)

Just a few of us
I think the main thing at this place in the way is the people managing the group, they're a bit twitchy about us having more reponsibility and publishing stuff. Not sure why cos it would just make them look better if we had more papers out.
Ideal lab gig? I would really like to work on growing new organs. I think it's a real possibility for the future but there's loads we don't know about the pathways involved in organ development. It'd be pretty cool to grow someone a heart in a jar in a lab :)
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Grow someone a new pancreas
that would be awesome.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 21:42, Reply)

Spleens'R'us

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Fallopians 4 U

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Gonz, you are always doing research.
Finding new food, new tech, finding out how Bert's brain works. All sorts of stuff. I think that what you mean, is that you don't think you could be disciplined enough to do it on a single subject.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:13, Reply)

Kindda, I'm always learning, and I really can see the appeal of expanding knowledge.....
... I love it when I try a new methordology in programing, or a new API, or find an alternative use for some technology that it wasn't intended for.

But that's different to research, research is a lot more involved. If I try (for example), a recipy, and it semi-works, I'll try again adjusting it... but I can't see me ever marking down the exact quantitys, or trying to get a machallin-star level of quality.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not putting eaither thing down, in fact, I think it's more than [donno the word] to expand the knowledge of humanity on a global level, that if you're curing aids or coming up with something that'll lead to helping anyone out (even if it's just something 'minor', like coming up with a shampoo that doesn't sting the eyes), that's amazing.... It's more of a case of me trying to understand the appeal of doing that as a job.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:29, Reply)

something about progressing your career?
Or "it was that or kill every mother fucking last one of them"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:38, Reply)

almost
i am not quite as far along as stabby death but i would love to rant at them loudly!
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:40, Reply)

vuvuzela their asses

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 19:43, Reply)

I hope you wrote this to get it out of your system.
Employers reading this will think, "Bloody hell the job we are offering is not that much better than the one he has now. What will he be writing about us in six months time?"

Only write positive stuff. I know it sucks, but its the system.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:18, Reply)

Just a rant
I do need to be more positive about it all really but i feel better for getting it off my chest :)
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:25, Reply)

BECAUSE MY COLLEAGUES ARE A BUNCH OF GURN-FACED, USELESS CUNTS
written in fresh faeces
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:19, Reply)

+ across my bare chest.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Why Plumbing?
just interested...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 22:24, Reply)

straight to the heart of the most dull part of the post
good job
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:13, Reply)

I noticed that too
but thought I wouldn't rise to it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Of course the reaon why they are considering plumbing is because
fulfils a part of step 4 of the seven step plan:

No. 4: Become highly qualified in looking at things and then get even more qualified in hitting things with spanners and overcharging old ladies
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)

plumbing is the standard post-post-doc choice for biologists
seriously, I know at least 2, although my dad knows a couple who went on to become electricians.
( ascorbate, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:18, Reply)

it's like being an accountant is fall back for engineering graduates who don't want to do engineering

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:24, Reply)

And working in HR for English graduates
that's the lucky ones....the others go to MacDonald's.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:08, Reply)

WRONG!!!
I did Biology
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Well, I'd hire you.
I am not in a position to hire anyone.

These two things may be related in some way.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Is the job you are looking at involved in research or have the potential for research?
If so, stress that you want to use your PhD and want to continue to grow in your science. Something like that can help. Don't totally trash your present job but if asked, you can nicely explain that you are not being challenged etc.

Good luck
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 12:37, Reply)