I'm meant to be on holiday right now in Marrakech.
But I missed my flight. Sad times :(
( wanderlust, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:22, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That is fucking terrible.
Morocco is a truly fabulous place to take a holiday in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

depends where you go
some mates have been had thoroughly shitty experiences there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Of course
you can hardly move for foreigners over there - that was my main problem with the place. If they could sort that out, it'd be paradise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

the main issue my mates had was that at the villages they went to the locals just seemed to have no respect for where they live
they'd just dump rubbish and filth over a wall for the stray dogs and goats to eat and shit everywhere, and then when it rained it'd all get washed through the streets and into the sea.

3 of them were ill after surfing over there because of all the shit that got washed into the sea.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I just pottered about
ripped to the tits on weapons-grade hashish and (the surprisingly good) local wines, and dined nightly at the hotel where Jimi Hendrix used to stay, sat beneath huge prints of the chap.

Wasn't ill once. There's a moral to this story: don't do sports, they're gay.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

that sounds like a fucking great holiday
most sports are gay. surfing is the fucking business though. it's the one thing I love as much as playing guitar and getting caned.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

My father agrees with you.
I actually I do like the idea of it. Ever seen 'Chairmen of the Board'? Death in Vegas once performed a live soundtrack to it in the Barbican, all totally synchronised to the footage that was on the big screen. It was amazing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I haven't seen it
I'll try and remember to check it out
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I tried half-heartedly to find it on DVD once, but failed miserably.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

story of your life

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I think the bastards live there.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Those little fuckers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I mean, really, what happened to the days when you could travel across the world
and be confident in the knowledge that a Decent and Civlised British Colony had been there well in advance to enslave those Dirty Foreign Types and teach the uncivilised bastards how to make a decent cup of tea and the right hour in the afternoon to serve the same with cucumber sandwiches?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I blame the Rhodesians.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

This would never have happened if we hadn't let them call it "Zimbabwe"
and go back to talking in their funny bongo-bongo language. I bet half of the grubby toerags can't even use a fucking subjunctive these days.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

The fiends.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Do YOU use the subjunctive?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I would, if I were in a situation that required it.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

That makes me dislike you a little less.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

He's tried to give up,
but the poor boy is hooked, he can't stop 'using'.

CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE??
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

We'll try and ween him off.
Hope he doesn't get started on the gerunds.
Oh dear. The subjunctive is such a gateway drug...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Never in all my my life
have I 'weened' a man 'off', and I do not intend to start now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Then woe!
Who will be left to help this limp-wristed bum-plunderer?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

2nd genuine 'LOL' of the day from your work, good sir.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

He made me almost cry with laughter while describing my friend's minge.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

You need help hon?
What can Auntie Blouse do? I have strong wrists and a fondness for the gays.
( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Any good at "weening men off"?
Either way I'm looking forward to encountering some wrist action that's at least structurally sound.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)

I'm a cracker at turning men off. *grins*

( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I'm sure I'd disagree quite strongly
If I hadn't been such a forgetful woofta and managed to go for a welcoming nork-nuzzle
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I'm starting to miss Darth.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I know
He's barely been gone 24 hours and I NEED SOMEONE TO ABUSE FOR THEIR BUMDERISH WAYS.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Then for heaven's sake concentrate on your aim.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)

"ReturnofficeLOL" right there sir, nice one

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Will you two get a room.

( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Can I watch?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)

It won't be very exciting
We'll mostly sit around drinking endless cups of tea and discussing the glory of the empire before retiring to the verandah to light our pipes and discuss matters of business and finance and the dowry that will exchange hands when I wed my sister off to Monty.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

I'll spike the tea with aphrodisiacs
and the pipes with viagra.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Is Viagra still effective if smoked?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

You and Monty must let me know.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

"I say, Carruthers, something's awry with this tobacco.
As you can see, we both appear to be tenting quite furiously."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Egad sir,
It's as if you can see into the future!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Don't forget the copious amount of bumming.

( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I have to go into a meeting now.
Can I leave you to deal with these halfwits?


Thanks awfully, old bean.

Pip pip!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

:(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I'm joking.




(I'm really going to the bank)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Tally ho, old chap.
Right then: Halfwits!
*claps hands sharply*
Isn't it about time some tea was being prepared? I'll be busy bumming the slaveboy in the drawing room but call for me when it's ready.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

It might amuse you that one of the problems with my piano playing is
that I keep my wrists too tense. You need loose wrists to play really well.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)

It's funny you should say that
Because, by contrast, I'm a fucking awful pianist*, it's like watching two anorexic tarantulas failing to have sex on top the keyboard, and yet my wrists are looser and slacker than Darth Foxtrot's ringpiece.

*_{I believe there's a strikethrough there}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Seems you can go too far one way.
The best pianist I personally know is a limpwristed bumder extraordinaire, and the best bassist/drummer is a minge-slurping cockfearist.
Maybe homosexuality and musical talent is linked, and that's why you're so popular at the Blues Jamming-Dicks-Into-Each-Other.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I have been receiving favourable comments on my bass playing of late
And I'm absolutely convinced that it's a euphemism for my pert buttocks.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:18, Reply)

bass-playing cock-sucking
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I don't know any good gay musicians
and I know a lot of musicians
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I'm Dorothy though, I guess they flock to me.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:20, Reply)

that is a good point

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Can they really flock
Or is it more like they form an orbital mincing pattern?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

You tell me.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I've never been around you
when multiplicitous bumders have been present.

I do, however, hypothesise that they will gravitate towards you due to your Force of Being Dorothy, and that they will also experience a perpendicular acceleration toward one another due to Mutual Inter-Bumdal Forces, pulling them into an eye-wateringly camp orbit.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:23, Reply)

It was implying you flocked to me, seeing as you're one of the multiple gay people I know
lolexplainingthejoke


I enjoy your edit. Very much.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I'll be filming it so no worries.
I see it being very Jarmenesque.
( girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Bloody cars breaking down.
Oh well, we came home, had a cup of tea and booked a flight to the cheapest place we could that leaves today.
Croatia it is then.
( wanderlust, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Croatia's quite nice
Not quite as exotic as I imagine Morocco to be.

But look at it this way: you can't spell Croatia without "Cro(w)." _{That probably doesn't help, does it?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

nice beaches in Croatia

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Go to the islands
they are pretty and the red wine is nice.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Does your holiday insurance not cover missed departures
due to vehicle breakdown?

If so, you should be able to get on the next flight to Marrakech and claim it back.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

what did you do that for?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Shit it Lusty, what happened?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Oh no :(
Yeah but you'll have a better time in Croatia.
I heard something about that Morocco recently...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Yes, I've heard there are darkies there.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

No man, worse than that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

*thinks*
*furrows brow*

...lots of darkies?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Sometimes 'I like this' seems woefully inadequate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Not just forrins then? Darky forrins?
*Shakes head and reties knotted hanky*
Goes back to The Mail.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Smelly, dishonest ones, I'll wager.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Nope

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

There are, you know, I have seen them
WITH MY OWN EYES.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Beady rapist eyes with a penchant for poofsex.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:10, Reply)