FLAWLESS VICTORY
For camp Monkeysex

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post777627

...and now I must bid you adieu, as work needs to be done, and the world isn't going to save itself.

Dadadadadada! *up, up and away*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:15, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What a fucking penis you are
Grow the fuck up man! Dick
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

*high five*
See you next Tuesday.

*trigger fingers and wink*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Is this all you lot do now, fuck each other and then argue about?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

FUCK YOU

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

To be fair
This is all me and the missus do, too.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Seems like it doesnt it?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

What are you talking about?!
It was TWO years ago, woman
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

So why all the arguing about it?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I'm not
I want round 2, right now please.

On your face, or preferably mine
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Cheers, i'll pass.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

For now

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

For the sake of both our sanitys

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

See you next week then
bring lube
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

What's wrong, can't your cock do that precum thing?
/ac
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

You know it does?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

You are a sad strange little man and you have my pity.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

*high five*
*handshake*
*trigger fingers*

xxxxxxxxxx
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

yawn
...
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

*yawns*
Get it?

They're infectious, isn't it?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Is that how he got into bed in the first place?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Nah
she'll let jsut about anyone poke her.

She's easier to get into than the Liberal Democrats
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Oh you flatter me.
It's really too bad you can't remember much about that one fateful night when the internet exploded in your pants.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I thought you said it was your mouth?
Have you been lying to me again?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)

hardly call that flawless, and barely a victory

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

You've made a mistake in thinking that I'm being serious
or that I give a crap.

As far as I'm concerned all these angry threads are just an homage to the one me and Kaol did years ago
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Well, you've managed to get everyone to think you are a genuine offline prick, people who talk to you every day or soo.
It's not _you_ though, it's _everyone else_ who is wrong.

I'm sure your counciler who you mentioned before will help you try and work it all out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I stopped going months ago they're not much help.
It's not everybody else, it's one person in particular, who is at least just as messed up as I am.
I'm absolutely lovely offline, it's a crying shame that most of you will never see that, but if me standing up for myself when Al tries to have a go is being a prick, what does your repeated attempts at upsetting B69, a guy who clearly has problems, make you?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I think I must have missed all the stuff where B69 talks about genuine problems
when did that come out?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Didn't he mention before being a recovering alcoholic?
Or was that somebody else?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I'm not sure whether it was put that way
or whether it was "I like a drink a lot" and "now I don't"

not sure.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I dunno
I see bits and pieces, but everybody seems to get all worked up when he or taht batty woman post, I'm not sure why, but it seems a bit like terrible bullying
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I find them both insufferably dull for the most part
that is separate to whatever problems they may have though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I don't think anyone could be as messed up as you Bert. I'm certainly not.
I went off the rails a bit when my dad died, but I'm doing pretty damn well in myself now thanks.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Alright then, it's just me, I'm totally mental and that

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

That's the first step to acceptance
Cookie?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Yeah', so you're "messed up" but also "absolutely lovely offline"...
... donno what it could be then why people don't seem to like you, must be something.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Lots of people like me Gonz
I come here to let off steam, it's totally awesome and stuff.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Sure thing, keep the dream alive.
I thought you were going anyway, or wasn't there enough attention in the other thread?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I should be gone, Gonz
I wanted the thread I started to be an end to it, but people are very sensitive, and they're all quite upset
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I'd rather listen to Monty talk about music than listen to this shit.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I'm going to make something nice for monty
something genuinely nice, because I'm a nice person. Not something nasty that will upset him, because he is my homie now, and I want to do something nice for him.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I suspect he'd rather you didn't

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)

He probably would
but it's a genuinely nice thing that I know he will like, because I know he hates Mr Bowie
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)

what, Bowie-cock?

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

*finger on nose and points*
Got it in one, but with a twist
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Twisted Bowie-cock?
Sounds unpleasant.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

worse than that

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

You're going to twist his cock around Bowie's?
He won't like it, I'm fairly sure...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Nah, I was going to mutilate it
and shoot it with a gun and shit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Ah, he will probably like that.
For added effect, you should run Bowie's cock over with a TRACTOR.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I touched a cat on its bumhole by accident once but sort of liked it,
am I gay?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

girl cat or boy cat?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

do I look like some kind of cat expert?
Because that is the look I'm angling for.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

You do have the air of a pussyologist about you

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

No, it makes you a hamtoucher
But I'm not quite sure why
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I fed slimy ham to cats in Tunisia once
then a man wanted to shake my hand but it had ham in it, things were going wrong.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Then I stand firm on this one. Hamtoucherman

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Oh man :(

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)

hamtoucher is for spammers
don't be daft
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)

It was the slut-cat's fault for leading you on like that.

(Cave Duck, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I did done a belm

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Braw!
Have chips with that!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Very quick reply
this suggests to me that you're constantly flicking f5 like a square black rhino clit in a desperate crave for attention.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Braw!
Have chips with that!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Lunch is over Bert.
It's "Spiffing! Have a cucumber sandwich with that."
Because obviously those blue faces know nothing about high tea.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)