For sale
A first edition baby in very good condition but out of packaging complete with a fully functioning alarm system and an uprated exhaust.
Does around 15 mins per gallon and goes like shit off a shovel.

£3.50 ono
( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 9:55, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Me, me!!
When can I meet her?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Mission accomplished
Crackmum is crying because laughing hurts her scar!
( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 9:58, Reply)

CAVEAT EMPTOR

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Isn't it time CHCB changed her sig?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I concur!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:05, Reply)

To
"Now has two midgets to look after"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Perfect!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I like this

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Does it come with any accessories?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I read your sig
as wanking every.single.time.

On my week off I am going to go walking along a disused railway :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Sweet!
I think I'm in training to walk to the coast at Canvey Island in a couple of months.
Edit: it should take me five days, not a couple of months.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Five days? !
I'm planning small 5 - 8 mile half day walks which will probably kill me!
Going to go wandering around Burton Dasset at some point two which is always awesome.
Do you not get bored walking by yourself?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

It's only 100 miles.
Next week I'll try 15 miles on two consecutive days, the following week on three consecutive days, then up the mileage. I think I'll be doing it as a fund-raiser, not entirely sure of the details yet. And, there's enough going on in my head to keep me occupied.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

"only"
That's like me walking to London!
I'll sponsor you some compeed
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

He's got very normal looking feet for someone who walks so much.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

That's possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever said about
my feet.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Your welcome : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

his welcome what?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

BGB gets a free grammar pass as she is totally awesome
You just look like a big meanie now who is being mean because you weren't cool enough to go see BGB for her birthday in her awesome house in awesome Yorkshire.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

^This : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

shut up spastic

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Yeah good comeback
bitter meanie man who isn't cool enough to come to the awesome parties
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

yep, not cool enough
distance, cost and prior engagements had nothing to do with it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

That was pretty awesome

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Just imagine how awesome it would have been if I had been drunk too.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I don't think anything can ever beat the awesomeness of Cockneck
But yes, it would have been ace!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Might take you up on that.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I'm hoping my trainers will stand up to the walking
I'm really not prepared for hardcore walking. Although I did steal borrow two OS maps from my dad yesterday
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

realistic puking and shitting action

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:19, Reply)

SOLD!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Pfft
You can't be bored of her already? Mind you... 'newborn, two careful owners' ...you'd probably make a fair bit on ebay.

Congrats to you both :)
(berk, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Bored ... no
Wish she'd be content away from the nork for more than 5mins during the night ... yes
( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Like father like daughter.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

This is why I said you need to train her to fetch things for you
Then she'll be useful, and you won't get bored.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Not sure you'll be able to sell.
We all know her lineage.
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Her mother isn't *that* bad!

( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Yeah, unlike the baby I have all my own teeth.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Have you stolen the baby's teeth just now?
Also, congratulations.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I was thinking more of the fact you're both a pair of certified nutters.
Albeit lovely nutters : )
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Shame that
Blowjobs would be a lot better if you didn't.
( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I might be interested in a timeshare, but I don't want her full time
I only spoke to you on here a bit when I was new, and then you knocked up your missus and disappeared, but I'd like to say congratulations dude.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

WHY ARE YOU HERE!?!??!
(we are supposed to still be yelling at you right?)
IF YOU ANSWER THOUGH I'LL YELL SOME MOAAAARRR
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I just nipped in for a sec
I'm back off now!
I've done lots of work already.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Hmmmm... Now that she's given birth he's back...
COINCIDENCE?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

He can spare the time
He's already inpregnated her again
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

SOD OFF

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

You're such an angry girl

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

she made me do it, sir, honest

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I assumed it was Chompy saying this...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I'm just telling it like it is V

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I refer you to this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post781654
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I was well aware of this
As I have been lurking about all morning, but doing things like selecting and editing photos from my graduation yesterday. And you're still an angry girl.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

NO I'M NOT
now fuck off before I give you a good kicking
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

It still surprises me how much I love babies but never want one of my own.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I get annoyed that when I say I never want children
people go "aww you'll change your mind"
I've started replying "Yes I do change my mind really frequently, like how five minutes ago I didn't want to cunt you in the fuck"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I get it as well
I know I don't want children, and I'm fairly confident that mrs V is telling the truth when she says the same.

we're being innundated with nieces at the moment and it's just putting us off more, and still people keep going "oh you'll change your mind"

they can fuck off.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

i have one
i don't want any more. thankfully the missus feels the same (because she also has one of her own...)
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

We've been thinking the same thing
After everything we've been through over the last year I'm not sure either of us want CHCB to be pregnant ever again.

Given our track record it could be a choice between celibacy, a vasectomy or a lifetime of anal. Knowing our luck she'd still get pregnant again with any of those options...
( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Maybe you should take the male pill V

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Cyanide?

( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

well
given that my history involves having the baby, then getting divorced from the mother less than 2 years later, you can possibly understand the initial reluctance. although i've thought it all through rationally since ;)

nearly 8 years in now!
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:10, Reply)

We were faced with a similar sort of situation
After we carefully weighed up all considerations. My girlfriend decided that vasectomy would be the best option. If only to see my comedy walk in the immediate aftermath.
(Cave Duck, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I've already done that comedy walk
Torsion of the testicle isn't fun =/
( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

DID NOT WOrk. WOULD NOT BUY AGAiN.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

aww
give it about 8 weeks and she'll sleep better, so you'll be able to sell her for more. If you still want to.
any chance for those of us not blessed with b3tan facebook friends to see some piccies? please? :)
( ascorbate, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)