So does anyone remember some thread from a few weeks back
where Applebite said she didn't like to give oral because a fat, ginger ex of hers essentially used to do it by grabbing the back of her head and fucking her mouth. A beautiful image I'm sure, let us take a moment to ponder that...

But essentially the conclusion that myself, Vipros and althegeordie came to was that (a) the guy was a tool and (b) that giving pleasure to your man was a healthy and righteous thing that should be encouraged far and wide. Vipros even went as far as to say that there were many decent males on the Off Topic board. In celebration of this I promised to make a b3ta profile badge designed to encourage decent blokes to lead by example and stand up for being respectful and thoughtful to women in all their actions, physical and verbal. In return, the environment this kind of behaviour creates should produce happy and content females who give freely without undue obligation or pressure, the gift of selfless pleasure. So gents, check out my profile page and copy the (poorly made) badge for your profile if you consider yourself a decent and up-standing gentleman who wishes to promote non-cuntish actions amongst our gender.


I know, I know, I'm the male version of Germaine Greer - an honorary feminist no less.
( djtrialprice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:24, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You've been stood up in the past, amirite?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Yeah, I'm not going to add that to my profile.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

that's because you are a bender

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:26, Reply)

and because it's shit.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:27, Reply)

but mostly because you are a bender

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:28, Reply)

:(
true
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

the man speaks the truth
the text is barely legible :(
( djtrialprice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Ladies love nothing more than men who pretend to read Germaine Greer so they can get blowjobs.
Yes.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Your breast feeding link just made me lol

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

How do I add this to my profile once I've copied the image?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:32, Reply)

FAIL
no blowjobs for you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Just go into your profile press ctrl+v
then restart your computer.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

(this will only work in IE)

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

click on the 'Update your profile' link at the top of your browser
And copy this line into your 'Profile:' section

<img src="http://www.b3tards.com/u/05be2566f15b1b663dcb/standup.gif" />
( djtrialprice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Delete this now, I want him to repeatedly restart his computer.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I might be computer illiterate but I'm not that stupid

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Done. Ta.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Press Alt, Left Shift and Print Screen
This will do it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Am I actually allowed it?
Or am I a bit too much of a tosspot?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I for one applaud your stand on this matter.
Still means I'm shit at giving them but that's my problem.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Beta males
on B3ta, makes for a pleasing symmetry, anyway.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:35, Reply)

alpha males
can fuck right off
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Hear hear!

( djtrialprice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I shall put it next to the other 2 badges
"Girls Love a Bastard" and "Nice Guys Don't Get Laid"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I don't love bastards it's just you don't know you've got one till it's too late.

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

That's more like it!!
More bitter less mild. That's a proper half and half.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I'm not saying you have to be a wet blanket
you can still be a dick and respectful at the same time. Lord knows I am.
( djtrialprice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:44, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

this is true
Wiggy is a mini-jerk, he does little things that are jerky but not enough for him to be an actual bastard. Like yesterday, we were walking on a pavement and he swapped sides with me so that he was on the outside because he knows I like old school chivalry. However, he also directed me into a holly bush.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

then you're dating
the wrong girls. Only fools love bastards
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Go'ead Amberl!
you're right.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

That's nice of you to assume I go on dates

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Dude
If gave any more, I'd need an oesophagus transplant.
Therefore your campaign is pointless.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I think he wants mankind to share in his good fortune.

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Fair play to him
I'd boast if I was going out with me.
I can play 'Popcorn' on my teeth too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:51, Reply)

*laughs*
I am soooo jealous of him.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Wiggy does that with his face
it's so annoying.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

You mean by flicking his cheeks?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I think he does it by clicking his tongue

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:56, Reply)

kudos
you should hold onto him
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:02, Reply)

yeah, that's the kind of shit he can do at our wedding.
we'd save so much money.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Especially if you light a sparkler
and make him hold it betwixt his bumcheeks
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I'm ordering fireworks online right now.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

But every bloke thinks they're decent and thoughtful
I think the badges should only be given out once a bloke has proven himself to uphold the values.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

who would be the judge?
and what would be the criteria?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Well don't ask me to be a judge.
It's obvious I can't tell one pillock from another.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

that's why you need these badges
so you can go for men pre-judged by others, with a proven track record.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Sounds useful.
Sign me up. Will there be a newsletter?
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:57, Reply)

That will be dependent on who the licensing body is
as a bloke I'm not in a position to judge.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:58, Reply)

It's not quantifiable.
You and djtp are safe though
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I think it should be up to female b3tans to submit a male b3tan for honouring of the badge
and the female should give her reasons in an OT post. Other b3tans can then vote in favour or against the male in question, giving their reasons. You can give one away a week.

Just don't allow Mr Bitter and Twisted Misery Guts to vote.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I like this idea

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I'd like to thank you for choosing to submit me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:00, Reply)

ha
you called me a butterface on Friday, I'm not nominating you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:03, Reply)

was that on friday?
but I have so many redeeming qualities!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

It was indeed on Friday
you're a big stoner, if I was going to nominate a big stoner who was mean to me I'd choose Wiggy because he made me a cheesecake on Saturday.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I can't argue with that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Well I'd nominate blokey
Because he is the bestest boyfriend I have ever had.
Alas, he appears to have awarded himself a badge already.
Minus points for being a braggard?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:04, Reply)

:D
I'm a blaggard and a cad too!
( djtrialprice, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Bear in mind that my father (and his pliers) now know what you look like

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:12, Reply)

this ^
see, if you are kind and considerate, then you are less likely to be the kind of self-promoting man to put that badge in your profile i'd have thought
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Bit of a catch 22
someone should make a badge to that effect.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:14, Reply)

But this is unfair - I'm in exile for 30.9 days and won't be here to get nominated.
Or nommed.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I submit my-goddamn-self
cos if I can keep a woman who's very obviously far too good for me happy for 8 years, 5 months and 2 days I must be doing something right
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I don't like blowjobs
giving or receiving. There, I said it. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, conventional society
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

She'll never sleep with you.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:52, Reply)

it's likely that I will

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 12:06, Reply)