sad to hear about your grandfather
but glad he had a good run of it. Know exactly what you mean about tragedy-cunts on facebook though. Same goes for hourly updates during labour
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:14, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Ugh, centimetrelolz!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:15, Reply)

I defriended the only person who did that
I'd met them at a festival luckily so we weren't close.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:17, Reply)

Not close, but very intimate via the medium of Facevag

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:18, Reply)

pretty much
luckily not her RLVag given the extension (no idea what the word is)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:21, Reply)

DIlation I think...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:23, Reply)

horrific mental images
this reminds me of why I shall never have children
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:24, Reply)

^ this
I vividly remember, at the age of about 10 I would guess, being told how babies are born following the birth of my youngest cousin.
'WHAT?! They come out of WHERE? But babies are massive!'. The initial shock and disgust has been tempered somewhat by the passage of time but the reaction remains greatly the same - there just ain't no fucking way.
(berk, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:27, Reply)

biology class
age 11 they showed us a birth video (quite obviously to inspire the reaction I had which was being violently sick and vowing never to have children). I couldn't believe that no-one else felt ill, and some of them were even cooing over the end product
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:29, Reply)

Yeah, I was present
during part of my sisters labour. I genuinely can't say that the eventual production of small screaming thing swayed me. The main things I recall are lots of swearing and the midwife coming in to check on my sister and saying 'You're about 8cm dilated, so just a few more to go' and thinking that there is abso-fucking-lutely nothing about the words 'eight centimetres' that I want to be used in conjunction with that part of my anatomy, thanks.
(berk, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:38, Reply)

spare a thought for poor TGB then

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 8:03, Reply)

Clungebook surely?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 8:38, Reply)

My other half
occasionally leaves his facebook logged in on my laptop. The first time he did it, I had a nosy but brief scroll down his front page, and the outpouring of chavly dribble of the 'rip babez ur wiv da angles now' variety prompted me to remark: 'Christ, you don't half know some fuckwits'. He gloomily told me that about 50% of the nonsense on there was the work of two of his cousins, both of whom he had tried to defriend several times but who simply kept re-adding him and then whining when he turned them down.
Typical example:
'OMG i jus saw a fuckin dog take a shit!!!!11! thatz like well funneh innit' etc. Christ I despair of the whole human race sometimes.
(berk, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:25, Reply)

Sometimes I really try not to be so distant
and join in a bit, to make family gatherings less buttock-clenchy.
It doesn't work. I don't want to buy knocked off Juicy tracksuits.
If she had knocked off New Look I might be into it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:28, Reply)

if you're going to shoplift
or knock things out why not go for the good stuff?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:31, Reply)

Ah, the ones
made of velour with writing across the arse? Nice. Your family is almost as classy as mine*

*No offence, like...
(berk, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:31, Reply)

To be fair, my mother's side aren't quite as rough
They're common and clinically fucking bonkers, but I can have proper conversations with them and express my opinions and probably be agreed with rather than laughed at or glassed.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:33, Reply)

I saw someone off the internet fall off a chair in Yorkshire once.
It was well mint. I couldn't help stauch the trickle of blood for chuckling in mild amusement.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 23:35, Reply)