This morning I asked Mark if he had a jacket to lend me
as we were at his home and I didn't have any. He assured me that the day would be dry and nice, so no worries, I wouldn't need a jacket.

Now it's raining as if someone up there had left the water tap open all night and there was a hole on the roof.

Which advice you've been given that you regret you followed?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:57, 130 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

"Don't be a fool, wrap your tool"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:07, Reply)

"Strap it up before you slap it up"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Hahaha

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)

"post in that thread so bert goes away"
I went crazy trying to follow it and he's still here. Which of course I am super shocked about.

Also I regret "I think you should try this sangria...."
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:08, Reply)

I definitely don't regret the sangria

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)

It did get me a lot closer to my 5 a day

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Despite what Ma and Pa say
Cigarettes don't count as one of your 5 a day.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)

LIES
ON THE INTERNET
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)

I've always maintained
that chocolate should be one of your five a day. It comes from a bean, right? Beans are vegetables...
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)

kraft mac and cheese is obviously part of the food pyramid
at least in our house it is
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:52, Reply)

THEY FUCKING DO!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 19:07, Reply)

On a similar note
'Hey, why don't you try this cheeky vimto?'

I still remain unsure as to whether my drink was spiked that night or whether I was just ludicrously hammered. Either way, I was Not At All Well.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)

"Snakebite and black is too sweet, put a double whisky in it and it'll take the edge off"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:31, Reply)

UGH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:32, Reply)

It actually tastes ok
but you're drinking 4 drinks at once... with blackcurrant.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:37, Reply)

When I said it tastes ok
I drank it when I was a fresher and freshers are retarded.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Anything and black is surely repulsive?
And anything + cider + black must be even worse, no?

I have to say I am (blissfully) guessing, here...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)

racist

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:47, Reply)

I like a cider every so often.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Even thinking of the word cider makes me want to be sick.
I will never, ever again in my life drink it. I couldn't drink vodka or longlife orange juice for a period of 10 years once.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Monty I was really looking forward to meeting you on Saturday
and was really disappointed you went cottaging instead
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I am most terribly sorry.
I would have loved to attend, but I'm afraid any offer of unsupervised child access (or any access at all) will take priority over anything. If I was asked to play guitar for Tractor one night , I would STILL pick babysitting.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

We were actually debating if it counts
as babysitting when it's your own kid?
and I did eventually forgive you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:01, Reply)

My ex says it doesn't count as babysitting,
but I have been unable to think of a better term. I am pleased to hear you've let me off. I did really want to be there.

EDIT and you are in the top few of my 'must meet' B3tans list*

*that doesn't actually exist
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:02, Reply)

You're definitely on mine
Along with DJTP, Vipros, Roota and Al.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:19, Reply)

Al is terribly overrated.

( thealternativefact, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:21, Reply)

Al has terribly overeaten?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:21, Reply)

this is not news

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I'm not looking forward
to explaining why Iron Maiden will have cancelled when I meet you Vipros
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:51, Reply)

Iron Maiden have cancelled you meeting Vipros?
The bounders!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:54, Reply)

I intend
to write a strongly worded letter of complaint. It may be written backwards
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:01, Reply)

I will not be impressed if that happens
I'm already mildly annoyed that 65daysofstatic clash with Alice Cooper. I want to see 65days, but want Alice Cooper to see my sign proclaiming to be a shit radio DJ.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:30, Reply)

you could
half and half it. Are 65daysofstatic not on the Saturn stage then? Thought they were for some reason
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:37, Reply)

That's pretty much exactly why I want to meet him
So I can see what he's actually like
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:21, Reply)

He's a fat bender.
Actually in truth he just laughs all the time - but maybe that's just because I'M FUCKING HILARIOUS TO GO OUT WITH.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Likewise your good self.
The three others you've mentioned are all sterling people.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:21, Reply)

it's not a list when I'm the only person on it
and it consists of my name written over and over all around your flat.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:21, Reply)

You do have some peculiar ideas, young man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:48, Reply)

I don't see any point in thinking the way most people do.
that's what got us in this predicament in the first place.

Also, I'm slightly delirious at the moment.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:31, Reply)

the edge your face
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I've done that with gin instead of whisky
Lovely stuff!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)

You're all wrong in the head
That said, I've done it with apple schnapps. POWER CIDER.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Snakey B and Double G is lush
I'm now craving it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:40, Reply)

::shudders::
I'm never letting you buy me a drink.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)

You lie, you wouldn't turn down a drink from me
I'd be nice though, no spiking!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)

You're right
I would accept a drink if only for the novelty factor. Just not gin. Or JD.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Novelty?!
Me buying someone a drink is never a novelty, young lady!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:49, Reply)

What if there's little umbrellas in it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:49, Reply)

That's entirely different!
Plus the little plastic monkeys make a drink taste more tropical.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:50, Reply)

tropical cheap
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:51, Reply)

No
but me being bought one is.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:50, Reply)

*buys drink*
*offers*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:50, Reply)

woo!
*frolics*
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Bah, I buy friends drinks
I'm polite like that.
Yes, I've met you once now we're friends and you'll never ever be able to shed that title
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:54, Reply)

On the whole, I've found b3tans to all be generous with buying others drinks
Special mention must go to plentyofants and Spikeypickle, as both have got me drunk more than once!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I try not to think about how much I spend at bashes on booze
If I'm going to the bar I'll ask if people want a drink, unless I really don't like them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I do the same, when I can
It's just that more than once I've had bashes the weekend before payday, so I've settled myself in the knowledge I'm being careful with my drinks, and I've been ambushed at this time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I should probably start
saving up for the one in October. I'm perma-skint but I'd rather not come across as tighter than a nun's chuff. My bank account does whimper at the thought of london prices though, I must admit. Hey ho. It's going to be awesome regardless - I might have to pregame on the train or something...
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I'm looking at it, and I know I can get there for cheap, and get a hostel nearby for cheap
But that's about it. A week later and I'd be fine, but it's the week before midday.

This one looks especially cheap
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:11, Reply)

The pub we went to
last bash was actually reasonable for London standards. A double gin G & T was about £4.00 I think.

I think I bought drinks for other people and I definitely remember a couple of people buying me some
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Bizarrely
that's the one I've got bookmarked - I couldn't give a shit about the reviews for £12. Although I'm sure when I bookmarked it it was something insane like £8. Oh well - it's still considerably cheaper than a travelodge or summat.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:38, Reply)

This is England
just assume it can rain any moment. It's very hot down here in Somerset, but I still have my umbrella in my work bag.

You're not in Kansas anymore Dorothy.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Another West Country person
are there ever any bashes down here?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)

There was one in Cornwall a couple of months back

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)

it was awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:17, Reply)

more down here please

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:15, Reply)

I'm in Exeter
I'd like more bashes this way too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:29, Reply)

I wish it was sunny
I hate umbrellas in Manchester, it's too windy and they always break.

I can't wait to go home.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Well if you will live "oop narth"*
*up north
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)

it's boiling hot in wales
and not raining, this is odd and uncomfortable
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:53, Reply)

that's unusual.
sometimes I miss the horizontal welsh rain, that can have you soaked to the skin mere seconds after leaving the house. Then I come to my senses again.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:19, Reply)

an I live high enough up
that sometimes the clouds just come to me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:54, Reply)

"here, drink this mountain dew after that shot of absinthe"

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I see why that'd be wrong.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I should've skipped the liquor and went straight for the dew
do the dew
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Ha.
I recall, as a foolish youth of 17, being told that absinthe is to be drunk with iced sugar water. 'Lies!' quoth I, and proceeded to down two shots.
I then proceeded to spend the next few hours alternately passing out and vomiting.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:33, Reply)

I watched a barmaid tell someone stroh tasted of strawberries.
it's 80% rum that tastes of petrol.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I hope her poor victim
threw up on her shoes. I know I would have done.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:40, Reply)

i watched, laughed
but the joke was on me. Later that night i threw up in a bath.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Were you bathing at the time?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Were you (or anyone else) in the bath at the time?
If not, no harm no foul. It's got a plughole, so easily sorted.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:48, Reply)

it was poor Applebite's bath :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Oof, not good

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:53, Reply)

But still,
surely this was sorted with application of tap and shoo-ing motions?
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Yeah, i cleaned it for her.
a bit.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

How kind
I'm sure she was very grateful.
(berk, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I saw a barman
do a similar thing to an American once. Some flavoured liqueur or the other that they told them tasted lovely. Turned out the American didn't think it was alcoholic
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:48, Reply)

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaha yuck
so it's not just me that likes to get clean when drunk?
I looooooooooooooove taking showers when I'm hammered.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I hate showers when drunk
I think it's because I hate being hot
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:50, Reply)

we're not talking about golden showers, honey

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Tbh, there is nothing in the world, EVER, that could convince me one of those was a good idea.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Jellyfish sting

(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Urban legend methinks

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Not so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:05, Reply)

According to a few sites I've looked at, it's nothing precise
firstaid.about.com/od/bitesstings/f/07_JellyfishPee.htm

That one says it's 50/50, the rest have pretty much all said no.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:08, Reply)

it works on weever fish

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:16, Reply)

So if a weever fish gets stung by a jellyfish, you relieve their pain by urinating on them?
I'm torn between suggesting that you've been spending too much time in the sea, and proclaiming you as being the Bear Grylls of the ocean.
(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I spend much of my time performing bodily functions on marine life
I started out by spitting on limpets.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:25, Reply)

"Spitting on limpets really messes you up"
If only the government had backed my campaign.
(Cave Duck, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:32, Reply)

damn government and their misguided priorities

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:45, Reply)

in the words of carrie bradshaw "can you just close your eyes and I'll stand over you and pour some warm tea on you or something?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Ugh ugh ugh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

i don't see a problem with
weeing on someone. Being weed on it another thing entirely
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I've drunk neat absythe and was fine
well, from what I remember. I find it hard to turn the stuff down, as a pretentious artist I am duty bound to drink it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I couldn't even take half a shot of it
I puked it back up and was fucken hammered
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:56, Reply)

take an evening class in art,
start pointing your glasses at paintings, make some of your own clothes, especially from recycled materials and declare everything WONDERFUL and INSPIRING!

You will never have a problem drinking absynthe again
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

it deadens the pain
but agreed, nothing wrong with absinthe
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Except for the price...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:09, Reply)

a bottle of the decent stuff
is worth it. Not buying it singularly though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Bar near me sells 72% shots for £3.50 each
Worth it in winter.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:12, Reply)

It's weaker than Wray & Nephew rum.
If it still had wormwood in it I'd be interested, as it is, what's sold as absinthe nowadays isn't really at all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:18, Reply)

and it tastes fairly minging
if it's merely booze, with no extra poisonous qualities I'd rather drink something I like the taste of.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Quite so.
Triumph of marketing over good sense, that stuff...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:36, Reply)

cougar-related-incident
has it right. Arty types like it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:50, Reply)

The reference to pretension is the key, here, I suspect.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:55, Reply)

but I'd be condemning myself
out of my own mouth, since I quite like it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:00, Reply)

there is nothing
wrong with being a pretentious artist.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:02, Reply)

I think I give off that vibe, anyway
The woman in the laundrette on various occasions has said that I am the type that would go to either Glastonbury, Amsterdam or something similar. That or she thinks I'm into massive drugs.

Not sure how she got to that conclusion from washing my pants
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:04, Reply)

people jump to conclusions
often wrong ones. I'm not really anything like I look. And I was once told I looked like a Britney Spears fan by my history teacher, when he discovered I liked rock/metal

Edit: perhaps she thinks she can smell drugs from your clothes. Or it could be the fact you've sleepwalked there before and asked for drugs. Like that man on House
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:05, Reply)

was he
washing your pants?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:06, Reply)

Thank God no
He didn't like me, and I was very blond at that point
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:08, Reply)

guilty

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:01, Reply)

I think every bar should stock it.

That way us folks with unpickled brains get a few guilty laughs watching those who really shouldn't be drinking anything else alcoholic for several hours, drink more very alcoholic stuff. Usually, in a random, pretentious manner.

Great spectator sport, as long as you're quick enough to spot the 'oh-no' expression that usually precedes the cheeks puffing out, demonstrating that a bounce is about to occur.

One can then ensure a safe distance between oneself and the unfortunate, such that one's footwear remains suitably unsullied.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:08, Reply)

you sound like a pro

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 18:09, Reply)

I decided it'd be a good idea to get myself and my friend a double each at christmas.
It wasn't.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

'Have a line of this, you'll love it'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Daresay
That's the one bit of advice I've been given that's changed me for the better.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 19:25, Reply)

"we should get married"

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Oh that Mark!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I haven't followed it yet
but I've just bet £50 that I'll go upto David Haye's place down the road in my pants and some boxing gloves and offer him out.

My mate's advice was that if I punch first I may get lucky, I fancy my chances but fear I may regret it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 17:30, Reply)