I'm loving it, loving it, loving it.
Tell us briefly about three things you like, BUT make one of them a lie.

Alt task is to spot the lie (other people's, not your own obviously)

I'll start

1. Custard - It's ace. Yellow andluxuriously cream. Not lumpy and associated with stodgy puddings at all.

2. Daft puns. They're ace. How do I know this? Becuase a pirate told me they arrrgh.

3. Crescendo endings. They're ace. In concert at the end of the song repeated short strumming on the guitar. Drummer riding the cymbals. Then, on a nod, blam it's finished.
(Cave Duck, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:18, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

1. Cider. Yummy yummy cider
2. Chocolate. Yummy Yummy Chocolate
3. Your threads as I don't find them tedious and boring and always involving lists at all
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Let's see if we can save this thread with something more interesting....
They say everyone has a good book or film inside them, what would your film or book be about?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

How I wrote lists on the best ways to kill people
then someone stole my list so I had to try find a way of killing them that didn't involve making a list
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Easy.
'Sausages of The World'. This is not a joke.


EDIT just to clarify, this is a book idea, not a film. Although a film about sausages might be quite good. I'd have Jackie Chan playing the main character.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

It sounds like something Foxy would write...

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

'My Life as an Internet Failure'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Dance Your Way to Gayness

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

What's your favorite type of saussage?
I think you'll like something you can really get your lips around, big meaty one, something spicy and forrin, like a bratwurst.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

The best sausages I have ever had
were Caribbean ones from a specialist shop opposite Angel tube (no longer there, sadly). They had little flecks of scotch bonnets in them and tasted stupendous.

I also like Moroccan merguez sausages - the weirdest ones I have eaten were Chinese wind-dried ones. Worst: andouillette: they actually smell and taste of turds (or what I imaging turds to taste like).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I had some a week ago that were normal pork sausages but with bits of black pudding in them too
Very rich and salty. But nice.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Self aware robots that steal our civil liberties
It's a bit like a cross between "The Terminator" and "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Daft puns
While ace, I don't think you're a fan.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

i'll guess custard, because it looks like sick
My list:

1) Cats
2) Dogs
3) Bad AIDS
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Custard is magnificent

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Proper creme anglaise is mind-bendingly good,
and I don't really give a toss about sweet food.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:26, Reply)

don't call it Creme Anglaise!
thats just the French refusing to acknowledge custard.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:35, Reply)

The french people I know love proper Bird's custard.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:42, Reply)

bravo mon gare!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Are you sure
they don't prefer 'cowardy custard'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I perfer to think of them as colaborators rather than cowards.
Their village is twinned with a german one as well as ours.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:53, Reply)

It's another food-stuff that I will eat if placed in front of me
but I would rather not, like most fish and celery and chickpeas.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I like almost all foods.
Celery is a fucking abomination.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)

agreed

( Peej, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:34, Reply)

^this apart from in soup format where it is lush.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

There a a few character traits that people I dislike often have
One of them is fussy eater. You know the type, they will go down a menu and say "I cant eat that, its got {whatever} in it". They will then choose the dish they have always eaten and still leave half of it on their plate.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:41, Reply)

It's pathetic and also rude.
I too find it insufferable. I also suspect that many (not all, of course) people's so-called 'food allergies' are nothing of the sort either.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Some of it must be their upbringing.
I hate to sound like a cliche, but as a child I ate what I was given.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Same
Although as a result I still fookin hate water chestnuts now!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I have difficulty understanding picky eaters
In my teens I went on a school trip to Italy where we stayed with local host families. I was staggered by the rudeness of people who refused food because it wasn't the tasteless stuff they usually had at home, the hosts were really distressed. I remember the food to this day, wonderful stewed goat with polenta and all manner of delicious stuff.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:00, Reply)

That sounds fookin wonderful!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

It really was
I remember being introduced to other families as 'the boy who eats everything'.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:06, Reply)

There aren't many things I won't eat, but if I'm anywhere but at my Dad's or the pub, I'll eat them
The main one being mushrooms. Well, the crappy waxy 'mushrooms' you get in massive vacuum packs from your supermarket
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:01, Reply)

But yes, Celery is shite

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:02, Reply)

1. Jaffa Cakes - They're lovely, orangey and wonderful
2. B3tans - Friendly people, all the ones I've met anyone
3. Les Miserables - Fantastic operetta, favourite musical type thing EVAH!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I'm guessing that you don't like Les Miserables
It's the sarcasm that gives it away.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Nope, fookin love it
Jaffa cakes are shite though
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I don't believe you.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Nope, really
They are fucking disgusting.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:55, Reply)

But you like musicals.
Are you a friend of Dorothy?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I assume you mean, 'Am I a raging bumder?'
The answer is no.

Yep, I like musicals, was raised on them, and still think they're fooking ace.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:59, Reply)

It's OK AA I just can't believe you don't like Jaffa cakes.
They are just so nice.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Never liked them, not sure why
I think most of it is down to the texture
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:05, Reply)

OH cave-duck, cave-duck, cave-duck !
You're right, life is a rich tampastry of things you like and dislike, and it's good to look on most things favorably, that it's not all rubbish, but some of it is, and you need to accept that to move on as an adult and a human being.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:25, Reply)

'tampastry'
Makes me think of stitched together tampons, or a Gregg's Cheese and Onion Slice with applicator.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I love lists!!!! especially lists of 3
3. Playing the drums
2. Child molestation
1. Collecting movies
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

YES ! ANOTHER ONE ON THE ANTI LIST BANWAGON, THAT I, GONZ, STARTED ! YES !
God, they're so fucking dull.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Gonz, you are a hero of mine but I wasn't being sarcastic
I love top 3's!!!!!

edit - and it was me who started the list thread yesterday *hangs head in shame*
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:32, Reply)

They're tollerable as long as there is a prime number worth of things.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:38, Reply)

1) computer games
2) booze
3) you
(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:30, Reply)

moody!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I like loads of things and asking me to choose just two of them is a lot of hassle
And I have to think of a lie now? To appease you? To make you happy? I'm not some dancing monkey to jump around to your tune. How dare you.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I also like how you're not replying to anyone. Nice posting there

( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:42, Reply)

wot a cunt, eh readers?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I've gone red with anger and fallen off my chair twice

( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:51, Reply)

1. Girls
2. Booze
3. Ian Dury's earthy lyrics
( Kroney, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:51, Reply)