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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I have decided to give up
looking at and posting on OT during the working day. Anyone noticed or care to offer odds on how long I can keep it up? giggity!

Alt Q: How has discovering b3ta improved your life?
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:25, 131 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
about thirty seconds?
if you're doing it twice, that is.

it has given me something to read in the taxi on the way home.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:28, Reply)
omg
just wait until someone introduces you to youtube. And you're obviously not including the 2 hour recharge time required.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:29, Reply)
two hours?
did you just turn 30 or something?!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:36, Reply)
Fuck you and the taxi you went home in!
¬_¬

It's no longer a touchy subject. Honest. I'm perfectly happy being in my fourth decade now.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:38, Reply)
hey calm it old-timer
i was just implying that the fact that it takes your battery 2 hours to recharge means that it might be getting on a bit, is all.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:39, Reply)
:'(
too much dementia for a retort
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:42, Reply)
yay i win
i don't get many victories around here
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:46, Reply)
Alt Q
Well thanks for asking deej. b3ta has improved my life by introducing me to my future wife. And once I'm convinced I'm away and safe from Roota I'll let you know who that is.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:28, Reply)
Hi

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:35, Reply)
Well I say wife
DiT, Al and I are waiting for David Laws to pass legislation allowing three-way civil partnerships.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:36, Reply)
I'm drunk
My breath is so loud. Especially nasal breathing.
God, I sound like a fat lass in Greggs.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:38, Reply)
Yep
classy lady that one *facepalms*
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:43, Reply)
I drank only the finest wine.
No shandies or Lambrinis.
I actually mean it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:44, Reply)
You're the one that went for a scouser

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:46, Reply)
Tell me about it
I knew it was wrong before I started
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:47, Reply)
It's one of the reasons I'm dubious about moving to England for a job

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:49, Reply)
You're weak, so it shouldn't last long
Since joining b3ta, I've got to know many people who I've never actually met, many of whom have subsequently disappeared from b3ta. It also provides a linguistic education on bad words.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:28, Reply)
yeah, whatever happened to those who stopped posting?
I'd like to think they all died in disturbing accidents. Ya bampot.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:35, Reply)
I think Edmund is among us

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:37, Reply)
don't even joke
might be like candyman
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:37, Reply)
rach, I ain't kidding right

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:38, Reply)
did you get the famous cockshot?
noone ever sends me picture gazzes.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:40, Reply)
nah
He invited me the opera tho.
I'm slightly peeved that I wasn't cock-worthy, I must admit.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:43, Reply)
But you might have got to see it for real!

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:43, Reply)
Even then, I wasn't that desperate, Pingu

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:45, Reply)
Lies
And you would have loved it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:47, Reply)
i got invited to hong kong
first class tickets, five star hotel. from what i've seen since, the irony is that he could actually have done this.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:45, Reply)
All I got was the tasty bit of info that he only has one testicle :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:46, Reply)
how did that come up in conversation??
"oh baby [who is less than half my age] i'd love for you to suck on my ball?" or more medicalbased?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:47, Reply)
"Did you know that the condition
Mono-testicularitis, which I happen to suffer from, blah blah blah..."
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:48, Reply)
Lost it in a rugby accident.
I feel bad spilling his secrets on here. Though I did gaz the info to Becky about a month after I got the info and Kaol warned me as to his creepyness.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:51, Reply)
Man, I don't remember you being about
When all that was happening.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:53, Reply)
but I WAS
I can't remember when I first started posting on /ot though. But I was around for the glory days of Kaol and Ed.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:55, Reply)
I miss Kaol
I spent most of last summer at work chatting to him while neither of us did much work.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:58, Reply)
He was fantastic.
He's just being awesome in Wales now I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:00, Reply)
We were discussing scars for some reason
so I mentioned that my legs were (at that point) quite scarred. He then dropped that bit of info in.
Then a "How about it then? ;) "

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:49, Reply)
he probably amputated it himself
whilst trying to perform his own penis enlargement surgery or something.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:51, Reply)
Oh god I'm rereading the gazzes
He's such a predator
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:53, Reply)
to be fair
he is hardly alone there (on this website anyway!)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:55, Reply)
I guess I'm almost equally guilty of that.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:55, Reply)
i smell gossip
who do you prey on??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:00, Reply)
Things with pulses
Occasionaly things without.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:01, Reply)
dead from the neck up?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:03, Reply)
You do know where abouts
The thing is that creates your pulse, don't you?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:04, Reply)
lawyers don't have them

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:05, Reply)
True
Do they have brains? Some I've talked to appear not to.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:06, Reply)
a small proportion of us
share the brains that were intended for the whole profession.

most of the brainless are on the other side to me this week it seems.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:08, Reply)
Easy wins!
There're so many professions I occasionally wish I'd gone into.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:09, Reply)
gimme 3

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:11, Reply)
Have you lost fingers?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:16, Reply)
no, but it's nearly bedtime
as i have an evil personal training session at 6.30am. therefore i only have time for 3 of your fingers, not the full fist of 5.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:18, Reply)
Well, better get down to business then...

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:21, Reply)
you have 8 mins
go web, go.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:22, Reply)
That might make things a bit sticky
And not in the good way.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:24, Reply)
there's a good way to be sticky?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:26, Reply)
Marshmallows?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:28, Reply)
fat-free treats
good work
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:31, Reply)
Who needs fat
With all that sugar?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:34, Reply)
if you are inactive enough it will turn into fat for you
and speaking of fat, i had better get some sleep before the evil gym in the morning. night all!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:36, Reply)
Hmm, my utter lack of exercise may be a bad thing then
Night 'swipe.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:38, Reply)
Men, and occasionally women.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:03, Reply)
you dodger
i demand names. maybe i should prey on someone too. any recommendations?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:04, Reply)
I've groped Amberl's tits.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:12, Reply)
she might think it was a bit odd
if i suddenly started preying on her now, though. we need fresh meat.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:13, Reply)
Everyone loves Amberl's tits.
It's ok.
I dunno who's fresh meat though. I've only SNOGGED chompy, he's reasonably fresh.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:17, Reply)
And everyone's
Seen the photo proof, both photoshopped and original.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:18, Reply)
Oh god.
God damn you DG and Amberl :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:20, Reply)
I got confused
And wondered why I was being damned at first.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:22, Reply)
marks out of 10 for his snogging prowess?
essential info before i make a predatory decision either way.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:19, Reply)
He dealt well with assault.
I'll give him a 6.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:22, Reply)
6/10?
either you have very high standards or he's not much of a kisser!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:23, Reply)
I don't actually remember it.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:24, Reply)
Plus when your partner's not into it, it won't be that good.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:24, Reply)
you're being very tactful
mind you, as he is not here to defend* himself, that is absolutely right!

* = tell me to fuck off
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:27, Reply)
It's widely acknowledged that he was coerced into it.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:29, Reply)
OH MY GOD DID HE SAY THAT?
The testicle thing
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:49, Reply)
So...
You got invited to HK, I got offered the opera, neither of us saw cock.
He saw us as high calibre ladies.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:48, Reply)
which we are!
a mancunian and a scouser, it gets no more high calibre than that, old buddy old pal.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:49, Reply)
Did he offer to drive up to Manchester for you?
I HAD SAID I WAS 18 AAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHH
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:51, Reply)
no because
i have been a southern manc for many years now. and he was (apparently, may genuinely have been given that he was actually some sort of banker i believe) in hongkong.

urgh, that is paedo-tastic.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:54, Reply)
His words were "May I be wistful... how old are you?"
oh god oh god oh god.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:56, Reply)
i have drunk too much pink wine for this
and now feel a leetle bit sick
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:01, Reply)
I was 18 and all he knew about me was that I was mentally unstable and liked sex
and he got that info from my qotw answers. If JtD comes near us again I'm running away.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:04, Reply)
I feel I need to hang around more now
To be here when next he appears.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:05, Reply)
WISTFUL?
W I S T F U L?

fuck me.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:08, Reply)
What?
And thanks for the proposition.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:09, Reply)
he said he was being wistful but how old was the girl
he ALREADY KNEW WAS A TEENAGER

you're welcome, i like to do my bit for the community.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:12, Reply)
Aha, earlier reference
I'm afraid I don't generally defecate in bed, so I probably don't meet your exacting standards.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:16, Reply)
that's ok
it's not your only ground for failure so we're cool.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:22, Reply)
You're such a
Nice, kind girl with your kind words. Oh no, wait...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:23, Reply)
pls to refer to the heartless lawyer reference above
and possibly the brainless one too, before you say it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:25, Reply)
Hmm
I'll give you that; mockery of your brethren is probably a con in a potential partner.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:28, Reply)
not sure i'll ever be a partner
i am a girl, after all...

/bitter
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:31, Reply)
Nothing like a bit
Of good old sexism in the workplace.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:35, Reply)
alive and well in most workplaces
along with a hefty dose of nepotism (which to be fair is alright so long as you keep it in the family...... sorry!)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:37, Reply)
I don't think he knew I was a teenager
but I must have seemed young. And I didn't have a photo, so I might have been a fat munter.
...oh wait
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:19, Reply)
pffffft as if you are!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:21, Reply)
I'm certainly overweight!

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:24, Reply)
I would rather he didn't.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:11, Reply)
You're quite astute at spotting him, I'll trust you.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:41, Reply)
it could be any of us
in disguise
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:43, Reply)
Oh, hai there.
Would you like to sponsor me to go to a cold place in order to look at pretty lights?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:50, Reply)
i might agree to consider to think about maybe possibly
doing it. if you gaz me the details.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:51, Reply)

details cock
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:52, Reply)
nonono
i don't want your missus after me!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:55, Reply)
Aww, she's perfectly harmless really.
Come to my October bash and find out. Although she might actually gas you with her farts. She nearly killed TGB in Edinburgh.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:57, Reply)
that truly is a most unique offer!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:01, Reply)
all the more reason for me to leave
I launched a nasty rant about him right in front of his first post-incarceration account.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:40, Reply)
what is the new account called?
why would you log back in here after everyone knows what happened?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:42, Reply)
Because some, nay, many people are morons
You work in law, you should know this.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:43, Reply)
this is very true
although they are not all morons.

some of them are fucking morons.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:44, Reply)
Well said
Well said indeed
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:45, Reply)
That really was full of win

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:42, Reply)
I'm just trying to find it now

(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:47, Reply)
SEARCH QUICKER OLD MAN!

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:48, Reply)
do it do it do it do it now
(before your battery runs out!)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:49, Reply)
*yawn*
It's far too late for me to be up
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:50, Reply)
sssh.
less talking more searching.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:52, Reply)
^ This
You ain't 40 yet, Scots boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:53, Reply)
Right, got it!
Medical male posted something medically about being a doctor so I tongue-in-cheek accused him of being Edmund. But he actually was! I wouldn't have done so if I'd known.

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post625089
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:53, Reply)
Classic

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:57, Reply)
this "The psycho bigamist medical wannabe hand destroying fantasist mentals-case"
is your finest ever moment, surely.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:59, Reply)
you know me
I'm not usually a nasty poster. It was so uncharacteristic. That's why I'm still a little shocked at my behaviour. But yes it does have a certain phonetic rhythm to it.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:01, Reply)
i take issue with
the first, second and third sentences of this most edmund-tastic lie.

the fourth you can have.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:03, Reply)
I WASN'T SURE UNTIL LAMPITO'S TESTICLE TALE
But here's the proof that my hunch holds weight.
Read his Ouch post... www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=83454
And tonight 'John' told Monty he'd rung his anaesthetist brother for advice on Monty's babby.
I ain't 'avin it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:56, Reply)
Oh GOD I thought he was quite creepy for an engaged man.
Fantastic work, Roots.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:58, Reply)
To be honest
I had actually wondered about this a while ago. I'm with you on this one PC Rootz.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:58, Reply)
Well DiT was initially conceerned about no longer being the only Dane on OT
and this was months ago.
I said "I don't think he's even Danish..."
Not realising it was an EDMUND!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:00, Reply)
That crazy DiT and his stories
So maybe you should gaz him a picture of your cock?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:01, Reply)
Oh, God...
tell me it ain't true, Gary.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Aug 2010, 23:59, Reply)
Sorry guv...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 0:00, Reply)

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