New thread
Wow, this looks fun
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8892427.stm

So I just spilt coffee on my shirt, what did you last spill on yourself?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:22, 108 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mayonnaise and pizza related goo last night
I spill every day. Every bloody day.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Do you put mayo on your pizza?
I can't be doing with that.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Aye
Mayo on everything.

EDIT: and I've got the leftovers for lunch today, with a little tiny tupperware pot of mayonnaise.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)

No wonder you're such a fat mess.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)

trudat
Wiggy said that to me last night as I lay on the sofa with the bowl of apple crumble resting on my belly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Mayo is for wrong'uns and notrights
Although it's not as bad as it's inbred cousin; coleslaw. Makes me ill just thinking about it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

I fucking love coleslaw on stuff like burgers and chips and all that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I'd rather never eat again. I don't eat burgers or chips anyway so I suppose it's a bit of a non point for me.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Why not?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)

My body's a temple init.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Alright, Shirley?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Nothing wrong with home made chips and burger.
Besides, what's the point of a temple if you can't get any enjoyment out of it?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I don't enjoy fast food though. As soon as I finish it I feel horrible and regret it. I get enjoyment elsewhere.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Not all burgers and chips are 'fast food'.
And some people would call a simple healthy pasta 'fast food'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I was thinking this at the weekend because I was at a birthday party
where there was a massive buffet full of delicious stuff and there were these girls there being all "I'd better steer clear of the pasta salad, hello, calories?!" and I was just thinking "I'm so glad I'm not like that".....as I stuffed in the third helping of salmon mousse and spilled it on my shoulder. My fricking shoulder! Don't know how.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Horses for courses ain't it.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

There are so many trials and tribulations in life, I don't see the point of making food, something you should have a few times each day, one of them.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Fair nuff if it's forced, like if you're intolerant of stuff spelt with a 'l' beginning it.
But why make an issue out of something you're mention to enjoy, or at least, do.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Attention Seeking.... Oh look how i suffer and wah wah.
Most of them probably got big macs on the way home.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

There's no right or wrong answer really.
I'm not that careful with food, I just don't enjoy eating rubbish because half the time I feel ill afterwards. It drives me up the wall when people ask if I'm on a diet. No, I'm eating the food I like. It just so happens that it's deemed healthy.

I had fried spinach, mushrooms and prawns with peri peri sauce for lunch. It was dandy.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Ahhh, that's different.
I know what you mean by some fast food joints making you feel rough afterwards. I 75% when I go mac ds, end up feeling like I need a shower
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I'm exactly the same
I had a McDonalds a few months back and once I'd finished it felt like the grease was sweating out of my face. Never, ever again.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)

that's where your mistake was
McDonalds is "food" not food
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I tend to go once every couple of months to confirm I don't like it.
If I was going with a mate, I'd find something to like there, and the breakfasts tends to be ok with me, but inn general it's no thanks. I should get that with kfc, but I don't, just feel bloated there.

But don't let that put you off a 'real' burger or chips.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)

That's nothing
After a Burger King, I used to get stomach cramps. A bit of sweaty grease-face doesn't seem so bad after that.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I don't even count a bit of stomach pain as a symptom of being ill these days.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)

yeah a mosque
fnar fnar fnar
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)

temple of Doom

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Salad cream (the really fucked up cousin of mayo) I don't get
A guy I once lived with put it on everything, he even stockpiled some when there were rumours that it would be discontinued.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Mayo is foul.
There's something not quite right about it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Mayo is as bad as Celery *spits*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Steady on!
Seriously think about mayo, then think about celery.
They are NOT on a par.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Mayo is vile
As is Celery.
As are Jaffa Cakes.

Ugh ugh ugh
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I don't dig Jaffa Cacks

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Good good
What's your opinion on Marmite?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I got some of the XO marmite the other day
good shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)

HPBD

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:12, Reply)

thx
took me a while to decipher that!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:17, Reply)

It is damn good!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

it's nice

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Jaffa Cakes?
You keep getting wronger and wronger.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)

They're vile

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)

They are not vile
*you're* vile. So there.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Marks and Spencer's own jaffa cakes are best
the rectangular ones
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:05, Reply)

My boss buys some made with German chololate
and sometimes lets me eat a couple. They're very nice.

Also, I believe the smashing orangey bit in McVitie's Jaffa Cakes is indeed made from oranges, not apricot as was wrongly asserted on QI a number of years back.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

I like it when you take a veg pealer to the celeory outside bit so you don't get stringy bits, then you fill the insides with peanut butter.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)

are you pregnant?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Let's just say the "Warranty is void if seal is broken" seems to have grown back =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)

awww bless
I think I know what that means, but I'm not certain.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

And I'm well past the 14 returns policy now =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)

'every bloody day' sounds like a euphanisum for being on the rag 24/7.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

nice.
I saw on lamebook that someone had written how much they love that shitty Scouting For Girls song with the lyrics "I'm a little bit lost without you and I'm a bloody big mess inside" and someone commented that it was like an ode to a tampon. I lolled.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Scouting for Girls are the worst band ever to have existed

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Daphne and Celeste?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Scouting for Girls are worse
because they are trying to be an actual band
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

ELVIS AINT DDDDDDDDDDDDddddddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaDDDDDDDDDDDD

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:12, Reply)

ARGH I hate them
I think I hate them the most out of any band that I hate.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Fucking this.
They're right up there with Bowling for Soup.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

at least Bowling for Soup have a novelty fat bloke

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:16, Reply)

How poetic
The laziness of their music personified.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:23, Reply)

That does look rather fun
I won't be trying it around here though, given that it's 20° colder than Berne and I'd be likely to end up:
a) in the North Sea
b) run over by a ship
c) ill from ingestion of the shite in the river, or
d) dead from hypothermia

I spilt some of my roll filling on my desk just now. But fortunately not on my shirt.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Where's "round here"
we need some sort of map.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Dundee

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)

You live in a cake?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Yup
The fruit gets in the way sometimes, but it's not that bad.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

someone did a map a bit ago didn't they?
I want to say Light in Chains but I could be wrong.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)

yeah, it was

(berk, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Java is disabled on this terminal...
...so all I can see is a freeze frame of a bloke diving into a lake.

What happens next?

In answer to your last question - Chain lube and liquid latex.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)

It's a fast flowing river
through Berne. Apparently the locals like to dive in and be swept downstream to cool off on hot days.

There are some girls in the video too, wearing bikinis. They have breasts, which should keep Broadsword happy.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I hope nobody dies of water inhalation

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)

I wouldn't want to do that in my local river
The heady mix of dead sheep, nitrates and piss wasn't quite what I had in mind.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Just as he goes to land in the river, the transport kicks in and he ends up on a space ship.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I'd have a go at that
not in my local river, though. With the weed-encrusted shopping trolleys and passing narrowboats, it'd be mor suicide than entertainment.

I can't seem to work out drinks cans. Food or whatever I'm usually fine with, but there's something about cans that makes me incapable of hitting my mouth.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)

is that not a canal?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)

They just deepened the river round us
there's a bit of a canal to accommodate some lock gates, but that only goes on for about 500 yards.

/fascinating
( Kroney, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I didn't think narrowboats frequented rivers much due to their lack of manoeuverability in currents
it was indeed fascinating!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

The Wey's a bit of a sloth
as far as rivers go, I think.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Seeing as my local river is the Thames, or the Mersey
that looks fun, but not to be tried here :(

Last thing I spilled on myself probably was ash.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)

I'm going to hijack this thread slightly to ask the b3ta ladies a question
For those of you on the pill, when you get your refills do you get a blood pressure check done first or do you make an appointment to do it? My new doctor says I can't make an appointment to get my blood pressure taken before they write the prescription, I have to go and get it done at a pharmacy, bring the results to them, they'll then request the prescription, then I go and collect it and go back to the pharmacy to get the sodding pills. I have yet to find any pharmacy that will do the blood pressure checks. Ladies?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)

My doctors has a blood pressure checking machine thingy
in a small room and they send you in there, you stick your arm in it and it makes a massive WHOOOOOOSH noise then you see the nurse and she says "You're blood pressure is very high, are you stressed at the moment, maybe at work?" and I say HAHAHAHAHHAH
Also I don't have to see the doctor, I can see a nurse for my repeat perscription
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)

my old doctor used to let me make an appointment with the nurse for it
but this new one says I'm not allowed! I'm hoping maybe Boots will do it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Your new doctor sounds a bit of a quack...

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

it was the nazi receptionist
I made an appointment with one of the receptionists and the nazi one rang me up and bollocked me for it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I would be able to help you find exactly what you want
but I won't because of the sexism in that post.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)

I knew you were a girl

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

they check blood pressure everytime you go to the doctor, no matter what, here
you have to go to the pharmacy to get it checked?!
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

that's what they're saying, yeah
it's just extra hassle.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I can't grasp that they don't have a bp cuff

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I go, I say to the doc or the nurse "I need more pills"
They take my bp and print me a prescription.
DON'T EVER GET THE COIL.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

I saw Chickenlady's posts
Spent an hour wiht my legs crossed tight whimpering.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:16, Reply)

ooh when was that?
If I'd known I'd never have bothered.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Front page of Ouch!
Second or third post. At least I think it was the coil.

A friend has the implant you get in your arm, that's no periods for her. Though a friend is on pills that completely stop them. If I had any kind of sex life I'd probably go on those.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Oh it was too late for me by then.
I'd already tried it, come close to DEATH and then had it removed.
And the implant makes some women bleed continually. Depends how lucky you feel. Well, punk, do you feel lucky?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

My mrs had the implant
it doesn't work the same way for everyone. It buggered up her sex drive, made her gain weight and didn't even stop her periods entirely.

She heard that it causes some people to basically bleed a bit all the time as well, which would be shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Thankfully I didn't
However I am aware she can be quite graphic at times...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Sounds grim, I really would hate to get a slinky implanted into my balls.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)

oh god I wouldn't.
I've heard such horror stories about them. I also don't like the idea of no periods.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I got to have one of those BP things on my arm that goes off every hour or whatever next week.
I can't add anything else to this subthread, but I wanted to join in, as long as you don't start talking about blood glueing your knickers to your foofs
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:21, Reply)

No, that sounds like total bollocks
When I need more pills I make an appointment with my GP, they take my blood pressure and give me a new prescription. It takes probably about 3 minutes. Although I'm fairly sure you can get your blood pressure checked in lloyd's pharmacy and bigger boots stores, that your GP is asking you to do it that way is bloody stupid.
(berk, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)

That's what I thought
I have to go to the pharmacy to go to the doctor to go back to the doctor to go back to the pharmacy. All to save them three minutes. Douchebags.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I'm about to spill blood down me
as I stab the annoying bastard next to me in the eye
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

ALWAYS WITH THE GRRR GRRRR.
Chillaxio dudette.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Probably booze
after vowing on Saturday to never drink again I lasted, oooh, a day.. 2 weeks to recuperate though before new job of doom.

Here - see my £520 seat at Celtic Park!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 13:12, Reply)