I have this idea for a book,
I'm going to call it "Dusk" Or something mysterious and romantic like that. And it'll be about this plain, normal girl who moves to a new school and has no friends and totally won't be based on me at all, but everyone will think she's dead hot and then the mysterious, handsomest boy in school will totally fall for me- I mean her - and whisk her off to the woods and it turns out he's a vampire - but not a scary vampire, a beautiful one who sparkles in the sun, because no one like people catching on fire and horrible things like that - and he's all broody and totally like the perfect man and will love me til the end and NEVER LEAVE ME. And then I'll make loads of money AND THEN YOU'LL ALL SEE!!!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:19, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have to end you now

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:20, Reply)

It's ok,
I would rather gouge out my own eyes with a rusty spork than wath the films or read the books.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I've watched them
Because I'm that good a boyfriend to the missus.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Wow.
You're a better man than I ever could be.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I sacrifice my own enjoyment for others
Sad but true.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I'm far too self centered for that.
Sad but true.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Sometimes I wish I was more selfish
It's not like I always enjoy being selfless.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Then it ends with you fucking a dog right?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:21, Reply)

No, it just gets started with that

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Tsk.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Plenty of bitches to go round homez

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)

That's the next book.
I'm totally going to have two mega-hot guys fighting over me. Isn't that every girl's dream??? But there'll be no fucking because sex before marriage is WRONG and you'll go to HELL.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I don't know I haven't met every girl yet.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)

met raped
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:29, Reply)

hilariously unnexpected.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:30, Reply)

unexpected surprising sex
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)

surprising bad
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I've never been involved in bad sex
Thank you very much.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

bad consensual
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

check the mouseover predictable

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Well, I didn't want to disappoint.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Well, you do.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I had this thought two minutes ago.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Michael Buble's disappointing follow up single.

(Cave Duck, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:30, Reply)

fighting over me up my arse at the same time.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Ssshh Al.
I'm not being me at the moment. I'm pretending to be someone else.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Don't worry
if it had been you, they would already be up there. And your typing would be really bad.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Ah, is that your theory for why my typing and spelling sometimes suddenly goes to shit?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)

It's my excuse, so I just assumed it was everyones
That's why TGB is always making mistakes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Every single poster on /OT
Actually simultaneously has two cocks up their arse. Interesting. I like your thinking.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

*checks*
Nope, just the one here.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Labs!
You're letting the side down. Shove another one in quick.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

So sorry
*grimaces, strains, then sighs and smiles*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Much better.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

apparently in the fourth book
The vampire fucks the girl so hard she needs a new fanny. For srs.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Yeah
Totally bonestorms the HELL out of that gynee. Leaves it looking like a cross section of the Large Hydron Collider, but covered in offal.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:35, Reply)

He also bites a pillow
Seriously. He has sex with her and it makes him bite a pillow.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:35, Reply)

HA
It's almost like Stephanie Meyer is a lurker.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

shit, my cover's been blown!
*Glitters*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

How did I miss that?!
All those time's we've met, I'm so ashamed of myself.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:08, Reply)

.... but there is no dog, there _was_ a dog, but he died, 100 years ago to this day.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)